Has pride or fear of rejection ever prevented you from getting back with an ex?

[Uptown182]

Just curious, has pride or fear of rejection prevented anyone from getting back with an ex they broke up with?  Assuming of course that you wanted to get back together with that ex

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Uptown182 said:

Just curious, has pride or fear of rejection prevented anyone from getting back with an ex they broke up with?  Assuming of course that you wanted to get back together with that ex

I broke up with an ex years ago and we're back in touch but I don't know what the future holds so we're seeing how it goes.  

[Uptown182]

32 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

I broke up with an ex years ago and we're back in touch but I don't know what the future holds so we're seeing how it goes.  

Who initiated the breakup? 
 

Funny, I think those are the only times it may work a second time around, years later when both people have had the chance to grow and learn from their mistakes. 

Edited January 12, 2021 by Uptown182

[lee179108]

Me and my ex broke up back in August for the second time,  the first time we broke up was apart for 2 months then she got back in touch and we went from there.. was great then it all crumbled in august last year for various reasons..  not my fault. What I have learnt is to never go back with an ex as much as i miss her and want to... i have never been so hurt and at a low point in my life. She didnt have a care in the world for me and ended up on dating apps...    if you break up once then obviously its not right.. i was stupid to think things would be ok and she wouldnt mess me around again. Dont ever let anyone mess you around. 

[Alpacalia]

2 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

Who initiated the breakup? 
 

Funny, I think those are the only times it may work a second time around, years later when both people have had the chance to grow and learn from their mistakes. 

I did. We were so young at the time (high school).

But, perhaps you're correct!

[ExpatInItaly]

No, not in my case. 

When I've broken up with ex-boyfriends, it was because I genuinely didn't want to be in a relationship with them anymore. There was just no desire to reconcile on  my part. 

[Acacia98]

8 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

Just curious, has pride or fear of rejection prevented anyone from getting back with an ex they broke up with?  Assuming of course that you wanted to get back together with that ex

Not me. I overcame my pride and tried that "reconciliation with an ex" thing when I was younger, and it was so disastrous that I never did it again. The reasons why the relationship had ended were still very much present. Now, when a relationship ends, I close the door firmly and never open it again.

[Wiseman2]

 

[Blind-Sided]

12 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

Just curious, has pride or fear of rejection prevented anyone from getting back with an ex they broke up with?  Assuming of course that you wanted to get back together with that ex

Neither. (Stupid to assume that anyway) Has to do with nothing other than... why would you want to put yourself through the issues???

If you break up with someone... there is a reason for it.   That/those issues won't ever really get fixed.  If they were fixable... you could have talked with your partner... like an adult... and fixed it before the break-up.  With my current GF... she was txt'ing and I was trying to explain something.  She obviously had no interest in what I was saying, so I stopped talking.  She asked me to continue, and I said no because she was ignoring me, and was more worried about her phone.  She got upset, gathered her things, and headed for the door.   At that point, I think she got upset because I wasn't chasing her... and she stopped.  I told her I'm an adult, and if that's the way she wants to handle things (Blowing up, and leaving)... then I won't stop her, but don't expect me to ask her back.  I think she was in shock because  she stopped, and sat down, and we talked about it like 2 adults.   (Only real argument we had in 11 months)   If she would have left... it would have been over, and I would have moved on.

I've never wanted an ex back.  I don't need the drama, and if the other person is so childish that they can't talk through an issue... then that person doesn't have the mentality to have a real relationship. 

Edited January 12, 2021 by Blind-Sided

[Cookiesandough]

Not me. When I wanted a X back I’ve asked for them back. I’m not really afraid of romantic rejection, though. I don’t want someone that I like to get away. I’m pretty b*lls  to the wall when it comes to that. Now career and friendship stuff is another story. 

[d0nnivain]

I only ever got back with an EX once in my life. The few weeks that lasted proved the relationship to be a shadow of it's former self so we ended it once & for all. 

[Cheryl Grey]

I never go back. I give it my all in the relationship and once it ends, I move on with clinical effectiveness. In over 50 years of life I have never regretted that approach. PLENTY more fish in the sea....

[Lotsgoingon]

Well in college, I was a bit embarrassed that I kept breaking up and getting back together with my gf. I wanted something smoother, easier. After a while the drama became embarrassing a bit to me. That embarrassment, in my view now, was a sign I should I have stayed away from her.  But I was young. 

 

[tart6245]

This is always the question I ask myself - if by some chance, my ex and I do decide to talk and reconcile, how will I ever feel comfortable after she already pretended for weeks that everything was fine and then moved out without any warning? How would I ever shake the fear of her doing that again? Many of us are here because we were dumped and we are looking for direction, and a lot of us want to get back together with our ex, but what would that look like if we did? Would it be sustainable after all the pain? That's something I think about a lot. 

[Highndry]

On 1/13/2021 at 7:00 AM, tarheelian said:

This is always the question I ask myself - if by some chance, my ex and I do decide to talk and reconcile, how will I ever feel comfortable after she already pretended for weeks that everything was fine and then moved out without any warning? How would I ever shake the fear of her doing that again? Many of us are here because we were dumped and we are looking for direction, and a lot of us want to get back together with our ex, but what would that look like if we did? Would it be sustainable after all the pain? That's something I think about a lot. 

You can't and you won't, which is why it's over forever. That's one of the reasons you're in so much pain, because you realize there's no going back. She ruined it - burned it all down and didn't even give you a say in the matter. We've all been through it, my friend. Go find a good woman and leave that trash to some other poor guy.

[Wiseman2]

On 1/11/2021 at 7:04 PM, Uptown182 said:

Just curious, has pride or fear of rejection prevented anyone from getting back with an ex they broke up with?  Assuming of course that you wanted to get back together with that ex

Do either of you want to get back together?

[Uptown182]

On 1/16/2021 at 5:21 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Do either of you want to get back together?

This was just a hypothetical, I’m not currently in this sort of situation but I personally have never gotten back with an ex  and it had nothing to do with pride or fear of rejection.  However I have heard of that stopping people before or just assuming their ex wouldn’t want them back anyway.

[Pumpernickel]

If I got broken up with, I’d definitely be too “proud” to get back with the dumper. He dumped me, probably replaced me, why would I beg them to get back with me? Not happening. That’s not necessarily fear of rejection, but definitely a pride thing. I mean, after you get dumped - possibly for somebody else - your self-esteem has already hit rock bottom. Not in 1 million years would I ask the ex back. Yikes. I think my ego would be too big for that.