Girlfriend unexpectedly broke up/ took a break from our relationship after 3 years

[tart6245]

26 minutes ago, JAKE022 said:

Right that would be weird because you are the only one that can say if you are happy or not, but it happens! My ex’s brother broke up with his georgous girl because he thought that it will be bettor for her so she can focus on passing exams and not on him and he thought that shes unhappy because of that, he regretted his decision month or two after and wanted to get back with her but she declined, he is sad about it since than. For me its illogical apprach but it happens so it might be similar situation. 
( my ex reached out to me today, i was shocked and when i opened the message she said hi  will you be able to give back the money i lent you some time ago ? „ lmao)

I know it happens sometimes. A lot of what she said leading up to the breakup looking back made it seem like she thought I wasn't happy. I may never know, especially if I never try to talk to her. 

As for you, you may be forced to block your ex if she keeps talking to you like that. She doesn't want to get back together and all she is doing now is hurting your healing process. I know it sounds harsh, but continual contact like that when her mind is made up isn't fair. 

[JAKE022]

50 minutes ago, tart6245 said:

I know it happens sometimes. A lot of what she said leading up to the breakup looking back made it seem like she thought I wasn't happy. I may never know, especially if I never try to talk to her. 

As for you, you may be forced to block your ex if she keeps talking to you like that. She doesn't want to get back together and all she is doing now is hurting your healing process. I know it sounds harsh, but continual contact like that when her mind is made up isn't fair. 

Right, i dont understand this approach AT ALL, but this is also like in my case a result of lack of comunication in my opinion, she would have know if you are happy and how you see a future with her if she would just ask in honest conversation. 
And in my case well i think she has all rights to ask for her money back in my opinion but yes it hurted me just to see a message from her which was not about our relationship, im thinking about unfollowing her from all social medias but i think im not ready yet, but i think it could be helpful in a long run because everytime i log on facebook she pops up on the top of my friendslist, same on instagram etc so im thinking about it but of course dumb part of my brain says „ dont do it leave a bringe for communication if she changes her mind” i know its stupid but thats why i think im not ready, i know i would unblock her next week or so just to check if she posted something etc im still too attached to her

[JAKE022]

She reached out again today asking about spotify (we are both in the same plan still) i might really  block her if this will happen over and over again, she had all rights to ask for her money back but this questions about spotify were totally unnecessary, speaking with no emotions with her is really weird for me and it hurts so it would be better to not hear from her at all at that point

Edited February 24, 2021 by JAKE022

[tart6245]

15 hours ago, JAKE022 said:

Right, i dont understand this approach AT ALL, but this is also like in my case a result of lack of comunication in my opinion, she would have know if you are happy and how you see a future with her if she would just ask in honest conversation. 
And in my case well i think she has all rights to ask for her money back in my opinion but yes it hurted me just to see a message from her which was not about our relationship, im thinking about unfollowing her from all social medias but i think im not ready yet, but i think it could be helpful in a long run because everytime i log on facebook she pops up on the top of my friendslist, same on instagram etc so im thinking about it but of course dumb part of my brain says „ dont do it leave a bringe for communication if she changes her mind” i know its stupid but thats why i think im not ready, i know i would unblock her next week or so just to check if she posted something etc im still too attached to her

The first time I ever thought my ex was unhappy was when she left. She otherwise would tell me she was happy whenever I asked her how she was or if something seemed wrong. That's what I can't understand about my breakup. If things were going so wrong, why not tell me? If she really loved me, why not make an effort to tell me the problems and give me a chance to improve rather than telling me I wouldn't listen if she tried? 

As for you, you need to cut all ties with your ex. You can't share spotify plans or anything like that. Pay her back the money you owe so she won't have a reason to contact you again. All of this should have been taken care of weeks ago. Every bit of contact you have with her sets you back. 

[JAKE022]

20 hours ago, tart6245 said:

The first time I ever thought my ex was unhappy was when she left. She otherwise would tell me she was happy whenever I asked her how she was or if something seemed wrong. That's what I can't understand about my breakup. If things were going so wrong, why not tell me? If she really loved me, why not make an effort to tell me the problems and give me a chance to improve rather than telling me I wouldn't listen if she tried? 

As for you, you need to cut all ties with your ex. You can't share spotify plans or anything like that. Pay her back the money you owe so she won't have a reason to contact you again. All of this should have been taken care of weeks ago. Every bit of contact you have with her sets you back. 

Same here everytime i asked her if she is happy she said „absolutely!” She told me she wants to spend rest of her life with me, when i left our home for 1 day for christmas (so not long before the break up) she texted me that life is boring and sad without me so i dont know what happened, unhappy person do not say these things , but hell with words, she acted like im her whole world all the time i could see she really loves me because of her actions too, so i dont know what happened, why not tell me something is wrong or give me strong signals at least , she knows she did the wrong but told me „im really sorry but i cant turn back the time”....... all of this makes it harder to get over, with time i have a feeling that its getting worse and not better , i might actually go and try therapy 

[tart6245]

3 hours ago, JAKE022 said:

Same here everytime i asked her if she is happy she said „absolutely!” She told me she wants to spend rest of her life with me, when i left our home for 1 day for christmas (so not long before the break up) she texted me that life is boring and sad without me so i dont know what happened, unhappy person do not say these things , but hell with words, she acted like im her whole world all the time i could see she really loves me because of her actions too, so i dont know what happened, why not tell me something is wrong or give me strong signals at least , she knows she did the wrong but told me „im really sorry but i cant turn back the time”....... all of this makes it harder to get over, with time i have a feeling that its getting worse and not better , i might actually go and try therapy 

I'm with you. I don't understand the need to go out of the way to lie about being happy if you aren't. I was transparent when I was upset about something and I always expected her to be as well, although she always struggled with talking about things that were uncomfortable. I also asked the same question a few weeks before she moved out and she responded she badly wanted the relationship and didn't know what else she could do to convince me of that. I thought we understood where we were at that point. 

I say all of this not knowing her feelings right now because we haven't spoken at all since she moved out. She could be having a hard time for all I know and is worried if she tries to talk to me that I won't want to or will be angry at her. It's impossible for me to know. 

[JAKE022]

2 hours ago, tart6245 said:

I'm with you. I don't understand the need to go out of the way to lie about being happy if you aren't. I was transparent when I was upset about something and I always expected her to be as well, although she always struggled with talking about things that were uncomfortable. I also asked the same question a few weeks before she moved out and she responded she badly wanted the relationship and didn't know what else she could do to convince me of that. I thought we understood where we were at that point. 

I say all of this not knowing her feelings right now because we haven't spoken at all since she moved out. She could be having a hard time for all I know and is worried if she tries to talk to me that I won't want to or will be angry at her. It's impossible for me to know. 

Exactly the same situation here, everytime i had any major issue with her behaviour i told her that and the problem was gone sooner or later, in my case i know she thought that there was no sense to talk about problems with me because I wouldnt change nothing, and from our history i think i never actualy dissapointed her like that, we had few issues and it was hard for me to fix them in me but i did it, but i guess she forgot about it, i dont know really i dont have any idea who she really is now because women i know loves me to death and stands behind me all the time, supports me and is fighting for our relationship, so i dont know what changed in her.

I think if your ex really cares she will reach out even if she thinks you are going to be angry or something, because if you love someone you dont have nothing to loose in that situation, my ex reached out about all those things i have mentioned and i was happy to talk with her deep down but it was also sad because she is „cold” or neutral when we spoke now, we never talked like this , like two strangers doing business or something, she didnt even asked how i was doing, and it hurts like crap, i believe you feel similar since she left and never asked about how you feel, i couldnt act like this i have too soft heart to not care about other people i hurt, left and i spent many years with ( i never actually dumped anyone but i can image how i would act)

[tart6245]

51 minutes ago, JAKE022 said:

Exactly the same situation here, everytime i had any major issue with her behaviour i told her that and the problem was gone sooner or later, in my case i know she thought that there was no sense to talk about problems with me because I wouldnt change nothing, and from our history i think i never actualy dissapointed her like that, we had few issues and it was hard for me to fix them in me but i did it, but i guess she forgot about it, i dont know really i dont have any idea who she really is now because women i know loves me to death and stands behind me all the time, supports me and is fighting for our relationship, so i dont know what changed in her.

I think if your ex really cares she will reach out even if she thinks you are going to be angry or something, because if you love someone you dont have nothing to loose in that situation, my ex reached out about all those things i have mentioned and i was happy to talk with her deep down but it was also sad because she is „cold” or neutral when we spoke now, we never talked like this , like two strangers doing business or something, she didnt even asked how i was doing, and it hurts like crap, i believe you feel similar since she left and never asked about how you feel, i couldnt act like this i have too soft heart to not care about other people i hurt, left and i spent many years with ( i never actually dumped anyone but i can image how i would act)

I didn't expect my ex to ask me how I was after she left. I wouldn't want her to unless she was having second thoughts about leaving and wanted to patch things up. There's no point otherwise. This is someone who deeply hurt me so sympathy isn't needed. I have friends and family I can talk to for that. 

I'm still torn between if I want to do anything more to speak to her now that it has been a few months or just let that idea go and decide what to do if she tries to speak with me. I could end up hurting more if she did respond negatively, but maybe that would help me finally cut all hope out and move on and find someone who actually wants to be a part of my life. 

[JAKE022]

2 hours ago, tart6245 said:

I didn't expect my ex to ask me how I was after she left. I wouldn't want her to unless she was having second thoughts about leaving and wanted to patch things up. There's no point otherwise. This is someone who deeply hurt me so sympathy isn't needed. I have friends and family I can talk to for that. 

I'm still torn between if I want to do anything more to speak to her now that it has been a few months or just let that idea go and decide what to do if she tries to speak with me. I could end up hurting more if she did respond negatively, but maybe that would help me finally cut all hope out and move on and find someone who actually wants to be a part of my life. 

Well you are right, they know they hurt us but we are also grown men that should know how to take care of themselfes so yeah you are right also this could be received by us as a false hope. 
i think if you are concidering resching out to her to get some answers i would wait a little bit more, i think we still need healing, probably they too so reaching out now to ask about past relationship could make more demage on both sides, my idea of trying anything is that if i still will feel like i want to talk to her and i will be strong enough to not cry if i get negative response than i will do it but not sooner than that, sometimes i have a strong need to talk with her but i dont do it. However on the other hand if you cant sleep at night because of this and you feel like it would close some of your answers etc than i would do it, i got mine answers so i dont really know how i would act but often times i do what i feel is right to do 

[tart6245]

On 2/25/2021 at 3:41 PM, JAKE022 said:

Well you are right, they know they hurt us but we are also grown men that should know how to take care of themselfes so yeah you are right also this could be received by us as a false hope. 
i think if you are concidering resching out to her to get some answers i would wait a little bit more, i think we still need healing, probably they too so reaching out now to ask about past relationship could make more demage on both sides, my idea of trying anything is that if i still will feel like i want to talk to her and i will be strong enough to not cry if i get negative response than i will do it but not sooner than that, sometimes i have a strong need to talk with her but i dont do it. However on the other hand if you cant sleep at night because of this and you feel like it would close some of your answers etc than i would do it, i got mine answers so i dont really know how i would act but often times i do what i feel is right to do 

I am more than ok taking care of myself. I am feeling better each day and the pain is not nearly what it was a month ago. I still want to talk to her. Once I feel like I can take the pain of her not wanting anything to do with me, I may very well still try to speak with her. This entire breakup feels so strange, much different than other relationships in my past. It feels forced and it happened because my ex felt I was unhappy with her but did not want to end things. So she left. I could be wrong about it, but that is the feeling I have after several months of thought and knowing her personality. 

I've forgiven myself and have been working on a lot of the issues she raised and will continue to do so even if she never speaks to me again. 

[JAKE022]

On 3/2/2021 at 3:28 PM, tart6245 said:

I am more than ok taking care of myself. I am feeling better each day and the pain is not nearly what it was a month ago. I still want to talk to her. Once I feel like I can take the pain of her not wanting anything to do with me, I may very well still try to speak with her. This entire breakup feels so strange, much different than other relationships in my past. It feels forced and it happened because my ex felt I was unhappy with her but did not want to end things. So she left. I could be wrong about it, but that is the feeling I have after several months of thought and knowing her personality. 

I've forgiven myself and have been working on a lot of the issues she raised and will continue to do so even if she never speaks to me again. 

Im slowly getting better too, at least i can eat something more than 1 slice of bread per day like i used to, but im still thinking about her all the time, still feels unreal and i still dont get it how she could just throw 3 years of beautifull memories away just like that, i might never understand it or fully accept her decision,  everyday i feel like im strong and can handle it and than after 1hr i feel like crying in the middle of grocery store (fortunately i was able not to but its emotional roller coaster all the time lol ) 

i feel like men like us see bigger picture of the relationship - what is used to be like and what it can be in the future, while our ex’s and women in general are following their temporary feelings/emotions, thats why they break up so easly, i could never leave this women after all those things we been through, and with connection that we have built, at least i would try to fix it. But its not my choice.

Same with your ex, she acted on temporary feelings, leaving you based on assuming that you are unhappy instead of just talk with you and come up with a solution together... 

When i think about all of this and read all stories on this forum i think that real love doesnt exists, at least not in the same shape like i have imagined in my head, i

Think i will give up on searching for a „soulmate” 

[gcp]

I can relate to this, and possibly give some insight on reconciling and my experience with it.  You can see my original post here : 

In sept. of last year we decided to try again, even went to couples counselling together to work on our communication.  It was fine for a while, we worked daily on communicating and really listening to each other.  Then the same problems started cropping up again.  Her parents had a big party, her friends all came over, her parents were there and she acted like she despised me the entire night after a few drinks.  To the point where here older sister was even looking at me like "what the hell is going on"  I had no idea why she was doing it and it was very uncomfortable for me.  She brushed it off the next morning claiming she didn't remember any of it.  

This in turn caused me to again with draw a bit.  I felt disrespected and really believed she despised me.  Fast forward to a week ago.  We were on our way to get some coffee on a sunday morning and I start talking about the future, and what she would like to do after she finishes up her nursing program this spring.  She got quiet, I could tell something was wrong.  She said she wanted to live on her own after nursing school and have some independence.  Then she went on to tell me she had given up these past few months and just hoped things would get better after she was done with school.  Again making me feel like I was the source of all her unhappiness.

A day later I ended it with her.  I told her I have given her all I can offer and if its not enough and she doesn't see a future with me then we need to move on.

Our reconciling failed, even with professional help.  I think I tried way harder than I should and lost myself along the way.  Understand that it may suck now but you will be better off in the long run.  Take care of yourself and enjoy the time you had together but realize she wasn't the one for you and that is ok.

[JAKE022]

2 hours ago, gcp said:

I can relate to this, and possibly give some insight on reconciling and my experience with it.  You can see my original post here : 

In sept. of last year we decided to try again, even went to couples counselling together to work on our communication.  It was fine for a while, we worked daily on communicating and really listening to each other.  Then the same problems started cropping up again.  Her parents had a big party, her friends all came over, her parents were there and she acted like she despised me the entire night after a few drinks.  To the point where here older sister was even looking at me like "what the hell is going on"  I had no idea why she was doing it and it was very uncomfortable for me.  She brushed it off the next morning claiming she didn't remember any of it.  

This in turn caused me to again with draw a bit.  I felt disrespected and really believed she despised me.  Fast forward to a week ago.  We were on our way to get some coffee on a sunday morning and I start talking about the future, and what she would like to do after she finishes up her nursing program this spring.  She got quiet, I could tell something was wrong.  She said she wanted to live on her own after nursing school and have some independence.  Then she went on to tell me she had given up these past few months and just hoped things would get better after she was done with school.  Again making me feel like I was the source of all her unhappiness.

A day later I ended it with her.  I told her I have given her all I can offer and if its not enough and she doesn't see a future with me then we need to move on.

Our reconciling failed, even with professional help.  I think I tried way harder than I should and lost myself along the way.  Understand that it may suck now but you will be better off in the long run.  Take care of yourself and enjoy the time you had together but realize she wasn't the one for you and that is ok.

Sorry this happened to you bro, however i know i will give it another chance if she would like to, i know its 50/50 but i would like to take a risk, hwever she doesnt want to right now so i can only wonder „what if”

[tart6245]

23 hours ago, JAKE022 said:

Im slowly getting better too, at least i can eat something more than 1 slice of bread per day like i used to, but im still thinking about her all the time, still feels unreal and i still dont get it how she could just throw 3 years of beautifull memories away just like that, i might never understand it or fully accept her decision,  everyday i feel like im strong and can handle it and than after 1hr i feel like crying in the middle of grocery store (fortunately i was able not to but its emotional roller coaster all the time lol ) 

i feel like men like us see bigger picture of the relationship - what is used to be like and what it can be in the future, while our ex’s and women in general are following their temporary feelings/emotions, thats why they break up so easly, i could never leave this women after all those things we been through, and with connection that we have built, at least i would try to fix it. But its not my choice.

Same with your ex, she acted on temporary feelings, leaving you based on assuming that you are unhappy instead of just talk with you and come up with a solution together... 

When i think about all of this and read all stories on this forum i think that real love doesnt exists, at least not in the same shape like i have imagined in my head, i

Think i will give up on searching for a „soulmate” 

I haven't given up yet on finding someone and I hope you don't either. You can't let your ex control your outcome like that. I've been through breakups on both sides and at times I also wondered if I would ever find my person, and I ended up finding someone new and making memories with them that I will never forget. That's life. Eventually it will work itself out and we will find the person we are looking for. It could be our exes or it could be someone totally different we never saw coming. 

For now, stick with healing and moving along with your life as best as you can. That's the only thing you can control. You can't control what your ex is doing or thinking or wanting. I've always said, if there comes a time when my ex wants to talk to me, I would want to listen, but I have no expectations. Overall, we had a good life together and if that isn't what she wanted, it's her loss. 

[JAKE022]

1 hour ago, tart6245 said:

I haven't given up yet on finding someone and I hope you don't either. You can't let your ex control your outcome like that. I've been through breakups on both sides and at times I also wondered if I would ever find my person, and I ended up finding someone new and making memories with them that I will never forget. That's life. Eventually it will work itself out and we will find the person we are looking for. It could be our exes or it could be someone totally different we never saw coming. 

For now, stick with healing and moving along with your life as best as you can. That's the only thing you can control. You can't control what your ex is doing or thinking or wanting. I've always said, if there comes a time when my ex wants to talk to me, I would want to listen, but I have no expectations. Overall, we had a good life together and if that isn't what she wanted, it's her loss. 

Yeah i will probably change my mind as soon as i heal from that ,you are right,  those memories i have were the best thing when we were together, our trips , vacations and other activities - we used to remind each other and talk about how great those times were during lockdown -  now i wish i could erase them from my mind because its the only thing that keeps me from healing and those happy moments are now very painfull because i know that pobably we can never repeat them together..she still keeps photos of us on vacation on her instagram and i keep going there and watching them like a fool.. im actually very afraid that i wont ever forget about them , i never thought that i could be so devastated for so long after a break up but i hope it wont last much longer. 

Worst thing is also a fact that she was telling me during a break up and even after that she wont change her decision for now, at the moment etc etc  which made even bigger space for hope in my head - i know it shouldnt but it did because why than she told me it like this and not just say - i want to leave and thats it, we are done forever .. 

half of my friends say that she will probably come back when she finally realize what she lost and the other half says that i should move on and leave her behind, neither of opinions helps me

[tart6245]

1 hour ago, JAKE022 said:

Yeah i will probably change my mind as soon as i heal from that ,you are right,  those memories i have were the best thing when we were together, our trips , vacations and other activities - we used to remind each other and talk about how great those times were during lockdown -  now i wish i could erase them from my mind because its the only thing that keeps me from healing and those happy moments are now very painfull because i know that pobably we can never repeat them together..she still keeps photos of us on vacation on her instagram and i keep going there and watching them like a fool.. im actually very afraid that i wont ever forget about them , i never thought that i could be so devastated for so long after a break up but i hope it wont last much longer. 

Worst thing is also a fact that she was telling me during a break up and even after that she wont change her decision for now, at the moment etc etc  which made even bigger space for hope in my head - i know it shouldnt but it did because why than she told me it like this and not just say - i want to leave and thats it, we are done forever .. 

half of my friends say that she will probably come back when she finally realize what she lost and the other half says that i should move on and leave her behind, neither of opinions helps me

You have to move on and leave her behind. There is no other option. Even if she comes back, it will take effort on both your parts to make things work again. Otherwise, you will fall back into the same issues you had before. She may not know what she wants, but for now, you have to act as if she's gone before, heal, move on, and plan your life as if she won't be a part of it. You won't ever forget her or the memories, but in time, you will look back on them fondly but not feel any emotion towards them. 

[JAKE022]

1 hour ago, tart6245 said:

You have to move on and leave her behind. There is no other option. Even if she comes back, it will take effort on both your parts to make things work again. Otherwise, you will fall back into the same issues you had before. She may not know what she wants, but for now, you have to act as if she's gone before, heal, move on, and plan your life as if she won't be a part of it. You won't ever forget her or the memories, but in time, you will look back on them fondly but not feel any emotion towards them. 

Im trying to move on i have no other choice and i hope that those memories will not be so painfull in future, its my first serious break up ( and last one i hope !) so i dont really knew what to expect, i mean there was one girl i was dating for about half a year before my ex but it wasnt that serious so i have healed and moved on preety fast. With my current ex we became official after only 10 days of dating and started living together almost immidiately , we were so sure that we want to be together, and it worked then, so for almost 3 years i have spent every day with her, knew everything that was happening in her life etc i feel like a drug addict in a rehab or something, for a first time in very long time i was feeling true happiness in life when i was with her and i reached great inner peace because of that too, still cant believe that it happened

[JAKE022]

So today i kind of broke NC i wished my ex happy international womens day to be exact i said „on womens day i want to wish you all the best and i wish you put smile on everyday” - sounds better in my language, what do you guys think about it ? She responded with simple thank you with smiley face with red cheeks, it didnt set me back to day one or made me sad or anything i just wanted to wish her the best on this day, didnt ask „how is it going or lets meet” because i still dont think its time for it but what do you guys think was it a good move or not since it didnt affect me emotionally ?

[trident_2020]

48 minutes ago, JAKE022 said:

So today i kind of broke NC i wished my ex happy international womens day

Well if you've got to break no contact, international women's day is as good a reason as any.

 

[JAKE022]

15 minutes ago, trident_2020 said:

Well if you've got to break no contact, international women's day is as good a reason as any.

 

You are right but i didnt feel like asking her about how is she doing or whatever because i dont feel like its a right time for that, but i wanted to show her that i still care and dont hold any bad emotions after our break up, provide her with a good feeling , i didnt text anything else

[Marc878]

5 hours ago, JAKE022 said:

So today i kind of broke NC i wished my ex happy international womens day to be exact i said „on womens day i want to wish you all the best and i wish you put smile on everyday” - sounds better in my language, what do you guys think about it ? She responded with simple thank you with smiley face with red cheeks, it didnt set me back to day one or made me sad or anything i just wanted to wish her the best on this day, didnt ask „how is it going or lets meet” because i still dont think its time for it but what do you guys think was it a good move or not since it didnt affect me emotionally ?

NC means NC.  You were looking for any excuse to contact her so you did.

What do you think you accomplished?  I don’t see much.

[JAKE022]

3 hours ago, Marc878 said:

NC means NC.  You were looking for any excuse to contact her so you did.

What do you think you accomplished?  I don’t see much.

Yup partially i can agree that i found an excuse to reach out but i dont think i wanted to accomplish anything besides showing her that i still care or respect her,

[tart6245]

On 3/9/2021 at 5:03 AM, JAKE022 said:

Yup partially i can agree that i found an excuse to reach out but i dont think i wanted to accomplish anything besides showing her that i still care or respect her,

She doesn't care if you care or respect her. That isn't your job anymore. I hope you're doing better. Stay strong and resist the urge to contact her for any reason. 

[JAKE022]

2 hours ago, tart6245 said:

She doesn't care if you care or respect her. That isn't your job anymore. I hope you're doing better. Stay strong and resist the urge to contact her for any reason. 

Well probably she doesnt or at least expect me to not care, i believe she somewhat cares because she is stalking me on social media like crazy, i cant read her mind, however i just thought that it was right thing to do - came back to NC right after. Actually i am doing better, came back to making music after almost 2 months of mental block , stopped drinking so much alcohol, started working out, some days im sad as hell but next day i am better and better, it will take some time for sure but i am patient

[JAKE022]

For few days my ex been posting on social media like crazy she even posted some „love quote” on her story which is unusuall because she never posted any kind of quotes etc ,  than she deleted it, she post picture of herself almost everyday to stories and on her main page (where she still keeps a photo of us and few more as highlighted stories on her profile) i dont know how to read this, my guess is she strated to feeling lonely or something and is looking for attention from me or other people, she was always active on social media but never this much ! I kind of feel sorry for her 

Edited March 18, 2021 by JAKE022