Girlfriend unexpectedly broke up/ took a break from our relationship after 3 years

[tart6245]

39 minutes ago, JAKE022 said:

For few days my ex been posting on social media like crazy she even posted some „love quote” on her story which is unusuall because she never posted any kind of quotes etc ,  than she deleted it, she post picture of herself almost everyday to stories and on her main page (where she still keeps a photo of us and few more as highlighted stories on her profile) i dont know how to read this, my guess is she strated to feeling lonely or something and is looking for attention from me or other people, she was always active on social media but never this much ! I kind of feel sorry for her 

I would try not to fixate on social media. It could mean anything. I know it is easier said than done, but you have no way of knowing what she is doing or who she is with. She could be lonely or she could already be trying to date. Women tend to move on faster than men do. 

[ExpatInItaly]

It's time you delete (or at least mute) her on social media. 

 

 

[Marc878]

4 hours ago, JAKE022 said:

For few days my ex been posting on social media like crazy she even posted some „love quote” on her story which is unusuall because she never posted any kind of quotes etc ,  than she deleted it, she post picture of herself almost everyday to stories and on her main page (where she still keeps a photo of us and few more as highlighted stories on her profile) i dont know how to read this, my guess is she strated to feeling lonely or something and is looking for attention from me or other people, she was always active on social media but never this much ! I kind of feel sorry for her 

Block her. Fakebook will only keep you in this.

[JAKE022]

i know that blocking her would be the best solution but i know that i will be coming back unblocking her looking at her s*** etc which will make me look like a fool in her eyes because she will receive a notification every time, instead im trying to not block her or unfollow but keep myself away from her page and slowly disconnect, than when im ready to not see her unfollow and unfriend but i need to reach that “i dont care” point which im slowly coming to 

[Marc878]

17 minutes ago, JAKE022 said:

i know that blocking her would be the best solution but i know that i will be coming back unblocking her looking at her s*** etc which will make me look like a fool in her eyes because she will receive a notification every time, instead im trying to not block her or unfollow but keep myself away from her page and slowly disconnect, than when im ready to not see her unfollow and unfriend but i need to reach that “i dont care” point which im slowly coming to 

Sorry man but you have a bad hopium addiction. Breaking NC to wish her a happy international womens day was pretty pathetic. Get your self respect back.

[JAKE022]

12 minutes ago, Marc878 said:

Sorry man but you have a bad hopium addiction. Breaking NC to wish her a happy international womens day was pretty pathetic. Get your self respect back.

I can see that you have that hard and cold approach when it comes to break ups which would probably help me to move on faster,  but im not like that , at least not in this case i was like that in my previous break ups, even worse, she didnt cheat on me or got into rebound, we broke up on good terms , this womens day is preety big day in my country so not so long after break up with a person i spent last 3 years , every day with and wishing her the best on this day - i dont feel like it was pathetic, if it is that i dont care i did what I thought was right to do and thats it

[Marc878]

Hard no contact protects you. It’s solely for you. 
 

As time goes by you’ll probably understand it better.

[JAKE022]

Just now, Marc878 said:

Hard no contact protects you. It’s solely for you. 
 

As time goes by you’ll probably understand it better.

I know I understand this at this point, im slowly moving on, actually im far from where i was month ago, i focused doing my thing, even bought my first apartment , im finally stable emotionally and i know i will be good, still not trying to date other women but iknow i will be ready sooner or later, of course there are still some things that hold me back from hard no contact like unfollwing her on all sc etc. but i know myself and i know i will be looking at her stuff from time to time which would make me look like an idiot if i did unfollow her, thats why i dont do this   But still slowly processing it

[Marc878]

It is a process. Hopefully you’ll learn from it and be better off long term.

You are correct about dating. The last thing you need is a rebound situation. Might be a good time to read up on that subject not only for you but stay away from anyone just breaking up, etc.

[JAKE022]

9 hours ago, Marc878 said:

It is a process. Hopefully you’ll learn from it and be better off long term.

You are correct about dating. The last thing you need is a rebound situation. Might be a good time to read up on that subject not only for you but stay away from anyone just breaking up, etc.

Good advice, i will definitely look this up.
I already learned a lot from that situation and it also proved me that i cant count on no one but myself, maybe someone will change that in future but for now it is what it is, at this point i just miss her, us etc but it is just a feeling that will go away with time so im patient, im staying busy and meet with people a lot which helped me very much, 

[JAKE022]

So i followed yall advice and muted her ( not unfollowed) on all social medias - she started posting even more since last time i posted here, totally weird behavior because she never did it that much, i dont need all those reminders so yeah she is muted and i feel good about it

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, JAKE022 said:

So i followed yall advice and muted her ( not unfollowed) on all social medias - she started posting even more since last time i posted here, totally weird behavior because she never did it that much, i dont need all those reminders so yeah she is muted and i feel good about it

Very good choice, Jake. 

As you said, you don't need constant reminders of what she's up to. That will only keep you stuck. 

[Marc878]

It’s called FAKEbook for a reason.

[JAKE022]

Just now, ExpatInItaly said:

Very good choice, Jake. 

As you said, you don't need constant reminders of what she's up to. That will only keep you stuck. 

Yup, i also realized that by watching her SM im constantly giving her attention she wants ( desperately at this point from what i can see) , and this is what is reserved to relationship, no relationship- no attention from me

[JAKE022]

Just now, Marc878 said:

It’s called FAKEbook for a reason.

For real i can see where she is fake-smiling on all of those pictures she posts

[Marc878]

1 minute ago, JAKE022 said:

Yup, i also realized that by watching her SM im constantly giving her attention she wants ( desperately at this point from what i can see) , and this is what is reserved to relationship, no relationship- no attention from me

It’s also breaking NC which just keeps you in this. For what? 

[Marc878]

There’s a saying   Just let them go. Set yourself free.

[JAKE022]

17 minutes ago, Marc878 said:

It’s also breaking NC which just keeps you in this. For what? 

Right! Out of sight , out of mind

[Marc878]

33 minutes ago, JAKE022 said:

Right! Out of sight , out of mind

It takes awhile to get it but it seems you’re on your way. Keep going.

You’ve been keeping yourself a prisoner.

Edited March 22, 2021 by Marc878

[JAKE022]

19 minutes ago, Marc878 said:

It takes awhile to get it but it seems you’re on your way. Keep going.

You’ve been keeping yourself a prisoner.

Exactly, as soon as i stopped staring at the wall all day or at my phone and do something productive and meet with friends almost daily i started to moving on, the fact that i didnt loose my self esteem also helped me a lot, i almost stopped thinking about her coming back in future - at this point i dont even know how hard she would have to work to get my trust again, but i dont hold to that hope like i did before

[JAKE022]

So a weird thing happend.. like i said i have muted her on instagram didnt like her new posts and tried not to watch her story .. week have passed like this and she texted me out of nowhere today, talking about her getting new dog etc asking about how i am , i woke up after a paty so i was little bit off guard and i replied, we were talking for about 30 mins i finally cutted the conversation saying that i have something to do, i am kind of mad at me that i carried the conversation but at the same time it was really cool chat , not mentioning relationship etc , she admitted that she got her a new dog because she didnt know what to do, she had to keep herself busy with something, she is still overworked so still same problems like during break up 

[Marc878]

Just another breadcrumb. 

You reset the clock back on NC. Again.

How do you feel about letting someone who dumped you having this much control over your life?

Edited March 28, 2021 by Marc878

[ExpatInItaly]

Eh, too many dumpees get roped back into wishful thinking by exes who are hungry for attention. 

It rarely leads anywhere good. 

[JAKE022]

1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Eh, too many dumpees get roped back into wishful thinking by exes who are hungry for attention. 

It rarely leads anywhere good. 

Right thats why im mad at myself but at the same time ignoring her was weird to me, she is very hungry for attention from what i can see, and since I stopped liking her pictures and looking at her stuff on social media she reached out to get some of it 

[JAKE022]

27 minutes ago, Marc878 said:

Just another breadcrumb. 

You reset the clock back on NC. Again.

How do you feel about letting someone who dumped you having this much control over your life?

Not good but I understand the process i it didnt give me any hope etc