Not Ryan Retnolds Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 Thanks in advance for your time reading this. Basically I chatted with a wonderful woman for just over a month, went on a date and was very pleasantly surprised. Im not usually someone who "falls" for someone on the first date. But after years of horrible dating experiences she was really refreshing and we seemed to hit it off instantly. It was from my side the best date Ive been on hands down, and before I even said anything she brought up the fact that that she felt the same and wanted a second date etc etc. Its a pandemic so even though I wanted to kiss her goodnight I gave her a hug and without putting too much into it she held on really tight...lol (Ive hugged people at the end of a night who never wanted to see me again and that was the opposite of that). We both agreed to get together again. unfortunately it was only a few days before Christmas, she was going to stay with her mother and sister who lived an hour away for the holidays. We chatted here and there over the holidays and things still seemed good. She also has three children from her previous marriage so her time is limited for several reasons. So the week after New years we settled on a friday night date to walk along the waterfront. The day before she texted me to say she was sorry she had to cancel as she "clicked with someone" and felt really bad...etc You are an amazing person....etc etc. Normally Id say something like, "Im really sorry to hear that but please feel free to reach out anytime in the future it was great meeting you, you seem really lovely, I wish you all the best" and move one. But she made a real impression on me and I cant help but feeling it was mutual and I know she wasnt faking it to avoid making it awkward. My question is: Is it ok if even after she cancelled our date, I want to text her a week later saying something like "Ill be in town tomorrow if you would be up for grabbing a quick coffee, if you still feel the same way no pressure at all but Id love your company". I dont want to give off the stalker or cant take a hint guy vibe, but dont want to just give up either when I thought there was something there that I hadn't felt before. Would love a womans thoughts on it Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, Not Ryan Retnolds said: Thanks in advance for your time reading this. Basically I chatted with a wonderful woman for just over a month, went on a date and was very pleasantly surprised. Im not usually someone who "falls" for someone on the first date. But after years of horrible dating experiences she was really refreshing and we seemed to hit it off instantly. It was from my side the best date Ive been on hands down, and before I even said anything she brought up the fact that that she felt the same and wanted a second date etc etc. Its a pandemic so even though I wanted to kiss her goodnight I gave her a hug and without putting too much into it she held on really tight...lol (Ive hugged people at the end of a night who never wanted to see me again and that was the opposite of that). We both agreed to get together again. unfortunately it was only a few days before Christmas, she was going to stay with her mother and sister who lived an hour away for the holidays. We chatted here and there over the holidays and things still seemed good. She also has three children from her previous marriage so her time is limited for several reasons. So the week after New years we settled on a friday night date to walk along the waterfront. The day before she texted me to say she was sorry she had to cancel as she "clicked with someone" and felt really bad...etc You are an amazing person....etc etc. Normally Id say something like, "Im really sorry to hear that but please feel free to reach out anytime in the future it was great meeting you, you seem really lovely, I wish you all the best" and move one. But she made a real impression on me and I cant help but feeling it was mutual and I know she wasnt faking it to avoid making it awkward. My question is: Is it ok if even after she cancelled our date, I want to text her a week later saying something like "Ill be in town tomorrow if you would be up for grabbing a quick coffee, if you still feel the same way no pressure at all but Id love your company". I dont want to give off the stalker or cant take a hint guy vibe, but dont want to just give up either when I thought there was something there that I hadn't felt before. Would love a womans thoughts on it Thanks. I know you asked for a woman but doens't look like any of them want to touch this. She admitted to having greater interest in another guy? That's rare. No I would not invite her. I would thank her for her honesty and say a variation of what you would normally say, something like "good for you, give me a call if it doesn't work out" and don't contact her again. If she's interested she'll reach out. It's not giving up, there's nothing there, she's told you she wants to see it through with this spark guy. On a side note, seems like you took a really long time to set a date. If you did a bunch of talking before setting a date she proably just lost interest because she knew your entire life story before she could go on a date and find all of it out. Edited January 13, 2021 by dramafreezone Link to post Share on other sites
Author Not Ryan Retnolds Posted January 13, 2021 Author Share Posted January 13, 2021 6 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: I know you asked for a woman but doens't look like any of them want to touch this. She admitted to having greater interest in another guy? That's rare. No I would not invite her. I would thank her for her honesty and say a variation of what you would normally say, something like "good for you, give me a call if it doesn't work out" and don't contact her again. If she's interested she'll reach out. It's not giving up, there's nothing there, she's told you she wants to see it through with this spark guy. On a side note, seems like you took a really long time to set a date. If you did a bunch of talking before setting a date she proably just lost interest because she knew your entire life story before she could go on a date and find all of it out. Thanks for the response. Yea it seems no one cared to touch this one. the reason for the long time between dates was the holiday season and she was away for most of it making it not possible. I just know if I do the usual than the usual will persist...I won’t hear from her again. It was the best date of my life, and I thought she was worth trying something different. After two years of dating she was the only one I felt a connection with and the only one to want a second date(one that granted didn’t come for various reasons). I think there are lots of reasons someone would cancel a date. Maybe she is seeing someone else, but maybe not. Just thought this one was worth trying again. Just don’t know if I should or how to go about it...and if so, how long to wait to do it. thanks again for your input. Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 I guess you could, but I would just take her at her word. Most women would not even mention that they met someone that they had a spark with. Most would just say that work is really busy or I just need to find myself right now. I think she's telling the truth so I don't know why you wouldn't believe her. But you have to do what you feel is right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Not Ryan Retnolds Posted January 13, 2021 Author Share Posted January 13, 2021 She could very well be telling the truth I mean I hope she is I’ve just heard a lot of that in my time and I’m tired of coming in second...or it’s me and they are all just trying to be nice I get a lot of “you seem like such a nice guy” or “your an amazing man” just after they say someone else is apparently better Story of my life and once again I have enough silver medals in dating im thinking of waiting anywhere where from a month to three before sending a message. I think if she was telling the truth and things didn’t work out between them she isn’t going to go through her phone texting past dates (no matter how good the connection want have been) but just go back on the dating site. And I will never darken the door of a dating site again. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 Sorry for the disappointment. It's tough when you click with someone like this. Step back for a while. Don't crowd or cling. See if she contacts you on her own accord. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 I really like her so she must feel the same way. Nope, her actions tell you that. it you chase they move farther away. Let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 It wasn't as mutual as you thought it was. She liked him better & she picked him. Sorry. Just let it go. Even if she came back it would only because you were 2nd choice. That is no way to start a relationship Link to post Share on other sites
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