BeaNeverLearns Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 Folks, Happy New Year! I wanted to let you all know that I'm doing ok, and still going strong and feeling strong. I hit an emotional dip over the holidays, possibly realization that it was over, but it didn't last long. I was happy to get through the holidays without contacting him. It was his birthday too, and I didn't contact him. Again, to help me stay away, last year I went to huge expense to buy him lots of small gifts, wrap them up and put them in his main gift (gift within a gift). I got a bottle of perfume, not wrapped (opened) that his wife wears (makes my blood boil). I think I would've preferred nothing. He has not contacted me either. Husband and I have separated, but remaining friends. Have put off talking about reconciliation until he's sure and I'm sure about what we want for the future. Lockdown is strong in my country, so we're in separate rooms for now looking at 6 months (june/july) before we talk turkey again. I'm enjoying the freedom, but I think I would feel better if we were fully apart to really see how it feels, not just for me but for him also. He admitted that he hadn't been very appreciative of me and that he'd let things go (relationship wise) but agreed that it was badly damaged and that he needed time to see if I was what he really wanted. We'll see. I'm happy that we came to that decision. Anyway, to those of you out there on the cusp of leaving a destructive affair. Just leave. If you stay, you stay with uncertainty, if you leave, you leave with dignity and possibilities and the chance to rebuild your self-esteem. This is a big piece for me. Still taking it a day at a time, and I still care for him but I'm not going back. Wishing you all love and all the best for the new year. Bea 6 Link to post Share on other sites
denwickdroylsden Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 Glad you're doing well. Extricating is sticky and difficult and requires patience and persistence. All best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BourneWicked Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 Great for you! Love to hear stories like this. I love the absolute ridiculousness of the gift that was given... sometimes its things like that which help to really show what a situation is. Do you foresee yourself reconnecting with your husband, or do you think the affair was a symptom of a relationship that was irreparable? Link to post Share on other sites
Gumbeaux41 Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 That is great, I am at 6 months of any meaningful contact with my AP. I can tell you that there are still rough days but it does get better. I think of her every day and wish that I would not. Hopefully that subsides soon. Good luck, take it one day at a time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 You might have to change your username 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lillyxoxo Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Well done keep at it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gumbeaux41 Posted March 10, 2021 Share Posted March 10, 2021 I know this is a loaded question, but here it goes. I have still not been in contact with OP but I think about her EVERY damn day. Can someone tell me if this eventually goes away? Link to post Share on other sites
RebeccaR Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 7 hours ago, Gumbeaux41 said: I know this is a loaded question, but here it goes. I have still not been in contact with OP but I think about her EVERY damn day. Can someone tell me if this eventually goes away? For some unlucky people it doesn’t go away. No one can promise you that it will eventually get better. It might, it might not. All I can tell you is a year wasn’t enough in my case. Link to post Share on other sites
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