Clwri_64 Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 My ex of almost 18 years walked out on my and his 2 children in Nov last year . It was a complete shock to me he says he just can't do this any more and he no longer feels the same way he says he tryed to ignore it and carry on and. He feels as tho we have drifted apart and we are just friends I'm really struggling to believe it. He treated me so good. Called me his princess and baby girl always telling me how much he loved me and he couldn't live without me. Surprised me with things all the time and was very affectionate to me. Cuddles when we was both half asleep I miss him so much it really hurts He had just bookeed us a holiday abroad for next year. Got us a new dog in September and ordered us some meat for Christmas dinner why would he do these things if he wasn't happy and wanted out I let him do whatever he wanted to do. I never did anything. He was my whole life my world and I was his he told me all the time I struggled to understand why he Hadd left me. I never noticed anything wrong until the week before he left he wasn't sleeping or eating properly I asked him what was wrong and he just says I don't know I just can't sleep. I thought he was just tired as he had worked nonestop everyday for 3 weeks We had a great life we went on holidays abroad we went out. On daytrips we was a proper loving family I haven't worked in 15 years as he was earning enough to support us all financially. I looked after the children cooked and cleaned and looked after him I found out yesterday he is seeing a pretty blonde girl he had known for 6 weeks prior to him leaving 8 years younger than me from work and he seems really happy. He says that him leaving had nothing to do with her and that it just happened and he's sorry for everything he knows it's hard for me to understand. I don't know if I believe him All I could think of was getting him back since he left I've just been begging him not to leave me. I didn't believe we was over untill recently He is my first boyfriend my first love my first everything and I was his I was 18 when we met he was 16 How can he just replace me like that and throw me away like we was nothing. I cant think of being with anybody but him it has absolutely destroyed me I have no job no life and my future has just disappeared. He was my everything all I have left are my kids I have a couple of friends but with covid I cannot see them My mum lives close by but I try and pretend I'm OK as she is hurting too and I don't want to upset her more Im not saying we was perfect all the way through he treated me bad in the past and I forgave him time and time again. He completely changed his ways and his family was every thing to him I'm sorry for the long post 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 I'm so sorry. It sounds like she may have been part of the trigger, He may be having a midlife crisis, wondering about the path not taking, the oats not sown, & wanting some "strange". That doesn't make it right. You need to talk to a lawyer about child support & possibly alimony, since you never worked but cared for him. Maybe when he is hit with the financial consequences you can lure him back to MC in an attempt to address what happened & fix it but I'm not optimistic about your chances. I also question the wisdom of taking the path of reconciliation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clwri_64 Posted January 13, 2021 Author Share Posted January 13, 2021 Thankyou for your reply. He has been really good at supporting me financially in the first few weeks untill I made a universal credit claim he was giving me money for rent bills foods and the children. He says he will still support me with the children and if I ever need any money to ask him. He is still currently paying for my phone bill and tv I was thinking midlife crisis. I no I've lost him. He is still friendly with me. Acts like we never shared a life for 18 years and it hurts. Whenever I see him he Acts like it doesn't bother him and I'm just someone he used to no. The only conversation we have face to face is hello are u OK and goodbye it kills me. He would of never of left me upset and now he just acts like he doesn't care even when I'm a complete mess I have no choice but to just let go and try and move on but it is so hard. My life has just vanished and I don't know how to rebuild it. He was my best friend and we didn't go a day without talking and now it's just all gone Link to post Share on other sites
maggiemtn Posted January 14, 2021 Share Posted January 14, 2021 I’m so, so sorry. Take care of your and your kids’ immediate needs and take time to grieve. FaceTime your friends. Can you do telemedicine for counseling? You need people to help you get through this and friends and family will understand that. Lean on them and you will get through this. It is so hard to watch someone we love leave our lives. But in time, the pain you feel WILL heal. I promise you. Just take it one day at a time and use this forum, your friends and family, and counseling to get through the hardest part. Big hugs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 14, 2021 Share Posted January 14, 2021 Contact an attorney. Also file for child support on behalf of your children. Link to post Share on other sites
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