Reach out or stay in no contact?

[Hedgey]

So I’ve been dating this girl for about 7 months now  (M22) (F24)and we had planned on going away together for the new year to my family’s house  and everything has was going along fine but the day after Christmas I was invited to her family’s friend house with everyone for drinks and lunch and what not, on the way to the lunch I had asked her what we would be doing there and she replied with “we’re gonna get really drunk” so what did I do, I got extremely blacked out drunk and made a complete fool of myself, one of her family members pulled her aside and told her to sort me out, so my girlfriend came up to me and tried to talk to me, I was in a bad state of intoxication and was being rude to her and didn’t want to talk about anything (as she’s told me i don’t actually remember) After that she told me to leave and go home ( I lived over 2 hours away on public transport with no wallet and 5% on my phone) so once she kicked me out in front of all her family I messaged her and said it was over and that she didn’t care and basically blowing up her phone being a dick,( I only know I said that because I went through our texts the next day and didn’t mean any of it, i was angry and drunk I had been booted out from somewhere so far from home) so I went home. The next day we talked on the phone and she said it was over, she doesn’t love me, I embarrassed her completely in front of everyone and I did the usual begging and pleading but it got me no where, later that afternoon I asked her to call me because i wanted to still ask if she was still coming away, I got no response so I left and went away with out her. Once I got to my families house (5 hours away) she called and said I can’t believe you left with out me and that she wanted to talk about things but then said we will just talk in person when I got home and that she missed me. 
 

Over the week I was away my anxiety got the better of me and I began chasing trying to talk to her and work things out and every time I tried to talk to her about it she would just reply with “we will talk when you get home, give me some space” and me being an idiot wasn’t giving her the space she wanted and when I got home I messaged her if she still wanted this and her reply was “no I don’t” and when I asked why she said “I don’t want to talk about it” I tried messaging her to work it out with only the response telling me to come get my things from her house. 2 days later she called and basically she was saying this relationship has run it’s course and that I need to stop trying to make it work ect, I responded with “I want to make it work so give me a call if you change your mind” 

The next day I was dropped her things to her house and left without trying to see her, when I got home I noticed she had deleted me on Social media.

Later that night she called me blowing up at me about how half the stuff I had dropped to her house she didn’t want, once she cooled down she was talking to me on the phone like normal, after we got off the phone I sent her a screen shot of my Snapchat and her profile saying I was deleted, she replied with “ I don’t have you on any social media anymore” and my response was “okay if that’s what you want” then 5 minutes later I get a notification saying she re added me. The next day I called and asked to see her and she straight up said no and hung up, I left it and didn’t chase, the next day she sends me a Snapchat of my house because she was driving past (she’s a courier) and I did not respond, later that night at 11:30pm  I get woken up to her calling me asking if I was okay and we just chatted for 20 minutes about how each other’s day has been and what not, she then asked if I wanted her to call me in the morning I responded with “it’s up to you” and she said okay I’ll call you tomorrow. She didn’t call again and  Since then I have been in no contact for 4 days now. 
I don’t know whether to reach out or wait for her too? I don’t want to loose this girl I love her and I know I f***ed up so any advice will be much appreciated 

[ExpatInItaly]

You might have made an ass of yourself in front of her family, yes. 

But she sounds like an ass, too. I would not have sent a blackout-drunk person off into the night alone to find their way home. At the very least, they could have called for a taxi for you. Kicking you out in that state was stupid and could have turned out so much worse. 

She's been yanking your chain since then. She was well within her rights to end it if she felt disrespected by you. That's fair enough. But to then throw hissy fits when the break-up doesn't go her way, and play the push-pull game when she wants to lash out and then seek your attention?

You need to really ask yourself if this relationship is worth saving. I get the impression she's not the most mature and enjoys having you grovel. 

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. There's really no coming back from this. Don't try to fix or save it.

Be glad it's over. Check out the AA site. Black out drunk is a sign you can't control your drinking.

Sorry, I have no sympathy for anyone who drives drunk.

You willingly got inebriated 2 hrs from home with no preparation and expected her and her family to deal with your poor judgement.

Get sober before you get into legal problems.

[d0nnivain]

A kind person would have put you to bed in a safe place in her house, not kicked you out.  I would never date somebody who jeopardized my safety like that. 

Her inability to make a decision & stick to it also indicates that she's a poor choice for a long term partner. 

Be done with this. 

Next time somebody invites you to "get really drunk" exercise more self control & stop at over the legal limit. 

[basil67]

Short of entering a program such as AA, I don't think there's any coming back from this.   

FWIW, I agree that putting you to bed in her house would have been a good choice.  But I get the impression that you were too belligerent by that stage to be compliant.  

[trident_2020]

You had several chances to make it right and you blew it each and every time.

Best thing you can do now is nothing. If she reaches out you gotta be cool about everything and just take things in stride and be normal and grounded.

If you can't be that way at least act like it.

Oh and quit drinking. Completely. There's no room for gray here. You got yourself a serious problem.