Dazed

[Its_me4real]

Hey I’m just listing this to clear my mind especially due to the fact that no one around my knows the full story. I’m 24 and I currently work  and will be attending school in a few days. My boyfriend and I have split for good and for some reason I’m not sure why I want to make amends.  Anyways I met my boyfriend before high school but it didn’t work out. We talked for a few days but broke up due to  immaturity. We didn’t speak to one another for years but we bumped into one another after I graduated college and we started to hang out a lot. We started getting close and after a few months we made it official and the pandemic occurred. I still would see him and we would go to family events and I could truly say I was in love. The first problem occurred on father’s day when my boyfriend gave me his phone and I saw a messages of him flirting with numerous females. I was devastated. We talked through it but after that day he started to watch me closely, check my phone more, track my location. His phone started to act up and he started to believe that  i had put a chip in his phone when I saw the messages. He also listed that i had fake tears when i saw the messages because in his mind he believed “why would i come back so quick, I must of done something “ (side note , I didn’t). Furthermore, it turned into me having to reassure him I wasn’t talking to anyone. After a few weeks we started to hang out again and after a couple of months we were on a good note. One day I was at his house and he went into the bedroom to help with a family argument. While i was waiting in the living room his watch was buzzing and i looked! And to my surprise it did open lol, maybe it was god giving me a sign because I didn’t know his password and all I did was swipe and his watch opened. Once again I saw him talking to a another female, his ex and he was flirting and once again my ass stayed. After a few weeks I got back with him.  But after that event we’ve been hot and cold, arguing on and off and mainly due to me not liking the things he’s doing . We’ve been constantly breaking up and getting back together but to him I have no time on my hand and pick when I want to see him. I look after my sibling in the morning ,i work overnight, I will be starting nursing school in a few days. Additionally, I would leave work to see him with the few hours I had. Additionally, He doesn’t work and hasn’t worked since the pandemic and has a lot of time on his hand. Anyways, flash forward to yesterday, we got into an argument because I was talking to him and he wasn’t replying . i was also the only one talking the entire car ride (8hrs) and his response was that he was listening. I may have said things I do regret for instance he started to shout when were have a calm conversation and I said that if a person is unable to get their point across without shouting they’re ghetto and that I’m stuck in a relationship I don’t want to be in. Yes I do feel bad and regret it but long story short I’m now blocked and after being blocked and writing on this forum it’s made me realize I actually don’t want to make amends.

[ExpatInItaly]

You should have got rid of this guy a long time ago. 

He is quite clearly not faithful to you, and is incredibly manipulative (You put a chip in his phone, really?? I would have laughed his ass right out the door and down the block for that, what a tool) 

Stay single for a while and work on your self-esteem. It's in tatters if you accept such blatant lying and mistreatment. 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Its_me4real said:

  it but long story short I’m now blocked 

Excellent. Now delete and block him from all your devices, social media and messaging apps. Also change all your passwords.

The relationship was toxic and on many levels you realized that.

Move forward free and clear of him and all his people.

Enjoy your new life at school.

[d0nnivain]

There is nothing for you to make amends for. 

You are broken up.  Stay apart.

Best wishes in nursing school. You don't need him as a distraction.