do You Have an Alter Ego

[littleblackheart]

I stumbled upon this BBC article called ‘Batman Effect’: How having an alter ego empowers you', which I found really interesting.

From the article:

Quote

Although the embodiment of a fictional persona may seem like a gimmick for pop stars, new research suggests there may be some real psychological benefits to the strategy. Adopting an alter ego is an extreme form of ‘self-distancing’, which involves taking a step back from our immediate feelings to allow us to view a situation more dispassionately.

“Self-distancing gives us a little bit of extra space to think rationally about the situation,” says Rachel White, assistant professor of psychology at Hamilton College in New York State. It allows us to rein in undesirable feelings like anxiety, increases our perseverance on challenging tasks, and boosts our self-control.

Most people wouldn't admit to it, but I think many do have an alter ego, a better version of yourself that keeps you on your toes and let you explore different aspects of your personality. It's quite clear on social media where people present a curated version of themselves in public - everyone has the best relationship, the right house, the perfect holidays, happiness and contentment on tap, and any show of vulnerability is seen as a weakness.

I don't use SM that much but I do have a couple of alter egos who do help me sane at times. 

Do any of you have an alter ego? Do they have a name?

[Foxhall]

Not really an altar ego, but I sometimes become engrossed in fantasy tv series such as Heroes where the characters do outrageous things such as regenerating and copycating behaviours/flying,

Id find myself occasionally drifting into a subconscious state of mind carrying out or imagining various real life people carrying out these same activities,

have developed a bit of an interest in writing recently and am trying a short story now putting these sorts of fantasies onto paper.

[jspice]

I have an alter ego. I’m a university lecturer who’s really shy and introverted. Before my first class I knew I had to figure out a way to do this because being introverted wasn’t going to work for me. It’s literally my job to draw others out to speak. 

So I went in there with the fakest confident persona I could muster up 🤣

I literally used to pray for the earth to open up and swallow me when I had to just stand up in front of people and didn’t even have to speak. 
 

That was 10 years ago. None of my students believe I’m introvert and shy when we discuss personality types for example. 
They also don’t know that talking to them drains me so much that I need to be alone for several hours once I’m done teaching. Typical for introverts. 
 

If anything, my social media reflects more of me than I actually do in a social setting. I can be witty ( if I say so myself haha) but only the people closest to me know that. Online I can express that more. 
 

 

[basil67]

I would say that I pull different parts of my personality out for different situations.  Horses for courses if you will.   And I would imagine that most of us do this to differing degrees.  

When it comes to older generations (I can't speak for younger generations) I don't agree that social media is curated.  I think most of us use the same theory on social media as we do at a party: present a positive face and be friendly, and be careful not to air your dirty linen in public

[Woggle]

I can't be fake even if I tried so I guess the answer would no.

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Woggle said:

I can't be fake even if I tried so I guess the answer would no.

So you behave exactly the same way on a drunken night out with the boys as you do when visiting your grandmother?  

[Woggle]

2 minutes ago, basil67 said:

So you behave exactly the same way on a drunken night out with the boys as you do when visiting your grandmother?  

Both my grandparents are long gone and I have of course show due respect when in certain company but I don't put on different personalities. 

[littleblackheart]

8 hours ago, Foxhall said:

Not really an altar ego, but I sometimes become engrossed in fantasy tv series such as Heroes where the characters do outrageous things such as regenerating and copycating behaviours/flying,

Id find myself occasionally drifting into a subconscious state of mind carrying out or imagining various real life people carrying out these same activities,

have developed a bit of an interest in writing recently and am trying a short story now putting these sorts of fantasies onto paper.

Love this!

I love fantasy, this short story project sounds exciting. 

[littleblackheart]

7 hours ago, jspice said:

I have an alter ego. I’m a university lecturer who’s really shy and introverted. Before my first class I knew I had to figure out a way to do this because being introverted wasn’t going to work for me. It’s literally my job to draw others out to speak. 

So I went in there with the fakest confident persona I could muster up 🤣

I literally used to pray for the earth to open up and swallow me when I had to just stand up in front of people and didn’t even have to speak. 
 

That was 10 years ago. None of my students believe I’m introvert and shy when we discuss personality types for example. 
They also don’t know that talking to them drains me so much that I need to be alone for several hours once I’m done teaching. Typical for introverts. 
 

If anything, my social media reflects more of me than I actually do in a social setting. I can be witty ( if I say so myself haha) but only the people closest to me know that. Online I can express that more. 
 

 

I could have written that post almost word for word! I agree it's so much easier to express some parts of your personality in the written form online.

Edited January 17, 2021 by littleblackheart

[d0nnivain]

Yes.  I used to be very shy but I'm in a profession where that is a HUGE negative.  I also interviewed badly.

I learned that the real me -- D0nni -- was shy & kind of non-confrontational IRL  but I needed to be more confident & assertive to function professionally.  One of my career counselors from grad school taught me to channel my inner super hero -- Ms. Vain -- when I need to be "on".  She protects me & is fairly kick-a$$

So there you have both sides of d0nnivain. 
 

[littleblackheart]

17 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Yes.  I used to be very shy but I'm in a profession where that is a HUGE negative.  I also interviewed badly.

I learned that the real me -- D0nni -- was shy & kind of non-confrontational IRL  but I needed to be more confident & assertive to function professionally.  One of my career counselors from grad school taught me to channel my inner super hero -- Ms. Vain -- when I need to be "on".  She protects me & is fairly kick-a$$

So there you have both sides of d0nnivain. 
 

I relate to this so much as well. 

At one point I used to be a bit jealous of my kiss a$$ alter ego since she seemed to do everything better - wittier, more chilled,.... Then I remembered she's still actually me! 

Sounds like you've got it all sorted, d0nnivain - two in one.

[Prudence V]

14 hours ago, jspice said:

I’m a university lecturer who’s really shy and introverted.

Me too. I also used to find managing people really hard. I’d look around at colleagues - especially white colleagues - and they seemed to have a natural ease bossing people about, that I just couldn’t muster. It was only when I realised that people wanted to do their jobs, but needed info that I had to be able to do them well, that I started looking at it differently. By not giving them the info that they needed, I was standing in the way and making it all about me. But if I gave them the info, it was all about them, and that made it much easier. So when it came to teaching, I saw it that way, too. Whether it’s a single student for a personal tutorial, or a big class for a lecture, it’s basically about pointing them to tools, info, constructs etc that allow them to do what they need to do, and not about me. So less about an “alter ego” and more about a different focus, in my case. (But it’s still exhausting and I still need to recharge afterward.)

In terms of an “alter ego”, I definitely needed one at school. In fact, I had several, to be able to survive in different social settings. It was only once I got to uni and could choose who I spent time with that I started learning who “myself” really was, and how to be “myself” more authentically. 
 

[d0nnivain]

2 minutes ago, littleblackheart said:

Sounds like you've got it all sorted, d0nnivain - two in one.

I wouldn't go that far but it was a way to behave more confidently in my 20s.  I rarely have to call on Ms. Vain any more. 

[littleblackheart]

2 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

I wouldn't go that far but it was a way to behave more confidently in my 20s.  I rarely have to call on Ms. Vain any more. 

Sounds good. I didn't actually need an alter ego in my 20s. Although I was introverted, I always managed to get by socially and at work with trial and error. My home country is the best ground to practice social skills as people are generally more open, warm and accepting. It's more when I have periods of self-doubt and having had to adapt to a new environment that my alter ego comes in and out. I was reassured by this article though, which seems to indicate it's a perfectly healthy thing to have.

[FMW]

16 hours ago, basil67 said:

I would say that I pull different parts of my personality out for different situations.

 

15 hours ago, Woggle said:

I can't be fake even if I tried so I guess the answer would no.

 

I agree with both of these descriptions.  I have a quiet and serious side at times that likes to be alone or with only a few close friends,  and at other times I'm friendly and outgoing and very social, enjoying being around a lot of people.  

Neither are fake.  

14 hours ago, basil67 said:

So you behave exactly the same way on a drunken night out with the boys as you do when visiting your grandmother?  

I try to behave appropriately for the situation, and pull from different parts of my authentic personality. But again, not fake.  

Maybe it's semantics, but I don't consider any facet of my personality (or moods) to be alter egos.  Just part of the whole, not all of which is always on display.

[SumGuy]

18 hours ago, littleblackheart said:

...

Do any of you have an alter ego? Do they have a name?

Alter ego, probably not, but secret identity, yes...the name is sumguy

As long as I can remember I have been reserved/diplomatic and realized people really differ in how they see the world (yet most believe 100% their very specific way is the only right way).  Sigh...

So not really an alter ego just reserved in what I say, but not reserved in speaking with people, love to find common ground.  Despite being an introvert, love to gab especially if the topic, is science, history, books, etc., but not a fan of gossip, to say the least, or the lives of celebrities.  Which may be why I have no social media and don't even follow that of those I know who do.

 

 

[littleblackheart]

2 hours ago, FMW said:

Maybe it's semantics,

It could be 🙂. I view an alter ego as still being you, but a sort of positive mirror to look at yourself from the outside in. That can give you something to push yourself towards; almost like a practice board to test yourself. It's helped me strive to better myself in moments of doubts, and to look at the stuff that need tweaking without drowning too much in self-flagellation. It's separate to a split personality issue, from what I understand. 

That's my interpretation anyway!

[littleblackheart]

2 hours ago, SumGuy said:

Alter ego, probably not, but secret identity, yes...the name is sumguy

As long as I can remember I have been reserved/diplomatic and realized people really differ in how they see the world (yet most believe 100% their very specific way is the only right way).  Sigh...

Fair enough. That puts you in the same category as Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne - not bad company.

Not always diplomatic myself but the little fiery side of my personality has not been too much of a hindrance overall. Probably also cultural. Agree with the rest. Sigh indeed...

3 hours ago, SumGuy said:

Despite being an introvert, love to gab especially if the topic, is science, history, books, etc., but not a fan of gossip, to say the least, or the lives of celebrities.  Which may be why I have no social media and don't even follow that of those I know who do

Yep, I too like discussing stuff; books, politics, 'controversial' social issues, or stuff like alter egos, but really anything that'll making me question my beliefs.

As far as SM, I have set up SM accounts when I need them for work, and keep a fb account in which I post twice a year because many of my friends aren't local to me, but I find the use of SM pervasive and even a little bit dangerous; definitely not the positive version of 'alter egoes' as it is presented in the article for sure.  

[poppyfields]

Not sure about alter egos, but I do have many different facets to my personality which present themselves at various times.  Depending on whom I'm interacting with, and where, my mood, my frame of mind at the time, etc.

I've read that when on line, people present different facades, fake, like totally made up fake personas.

But maybe it's not fake, it's just a different facet to your nature and personality that you're trying on.  See how it fits. 

I've done that, I see nothing wrong with it.  

Edited January 17, 2021 by poppyfields

[SumGuy]

3 minutes ago, littleblackheart said:

Fair enough. That puts you in the same category as Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne - not bad company.

...

Was hoping for Spider-Man myself as love his wit, but can go with DC.     Although it seems my internal angst is more akin to Silver Surfer.

In the sense of alter ego, would really think thrice before having such a conversation in a professional setting...unless the person was a founder of a tech company, although these days you never know.  Like the chief counsel of an international multi-billion dollar company who wanted to discuss the finer points of Star Trek at a business dinner...just blew the minds of the other executives, but not the head tech guys...the poor younger ones were at a bit of a loss with TOS references.

[littleblackheart]

10 hours ago, SumGuy said:

Although it seems my internal angst is more akin to Silver Surfer.

You can have Silver Surfer if you like. Not a huge comics fan so can't say I'm familiar with this character.

10 hours ago, SumGuy said:

Like the chief counsel of an international multi-billion dollar company who wanted to discuss the finer points of Star Trek at a business dinner...just blew the minds of the other executives, but not the head tech guys...the poor younger ones were at a bit of a loss with TOS references.

Not a Star Trek fan either so I also would be at a loss with the TOS references I'm afraid.

Edited January 18, 2021 by littleblackheart

[mark clemson]

On 1/16/2021 at 5:08 PM, basil67 said:

I would say that I pull different parts of my personality out for different situations. 

I'd say I do this as well, rather than having a true alter ego.  For example, I can (deliberately) come across as extremely confident and energetic, but that's not actually how I am all the time, I"m more "normal" and I guess one might say somewhat "flippant". Or for instance at a work meeting, I will come across as very interested. Generally I truly am interested, BUT I'm pretty sure I come across as more interested than I actually am, due to amping up the appearance of interest slightly. This is, I admit, essentially for sake of appearances.

[ThereSheGoes]

I don't think I have an alter ego, but I do think I have two very differen't aspects to my personality. Which I think stems from being raised in a very sheltered, religious environment. And then growing up, and exploring all of the 'sinful' things and enjoying them.

I feel like I have more of a doppleganger that comes out at certain hours of the day, than anything. LOL.