Is it common for women in their mid 20's to date men in their 40's now?

[Katkats7777]

There's this guy that I dated last year and I found out his dad who is 46 is now dating a 24 year old woman. I can get why older men would date younger women, but why would she be interested in him at his age? Yeah, he has money and built his half a million dollar home. And he has 3 adult children who happen to be around HER age?! Isn't that awkward?  What could he have in common hanging with bunch of couples in their 20's anyway? I have an older brother who is in his 40's and I don't seem to have anything in common with his friends-mostly due to the age difference. And most of them are married to their college sweethearts, then again they seem to be old fashioned and art nerds. 

[central]

I don't know how common, but there have always been relationships with large age differences.  When I was in my mid-50s, I dated a woman in her early 30s - that lasted about 5 years and we're still great friends (I later introduced her to another friend of mine who isn't much younger than me, and they've been dating for 2 years).

As for why, we just seemed very compatible in so many ways.  Money never entered the picture as we were both well employed.

[Weezy1973]

I would say it’s quite uncommon. I believe the average age gap in marriages is 2.5 years. 

[Ruby Slippers]

The appeal for women is probably mainly that he treats you like such a catch just for being younger. I've never dated a man that much older - the biggest gap in a serious relationship of mine was 12 years.  In general, the bigger the age difference the more starstruck the man behaves. 

[MRSR31]

It would have made me feel childish, more unsure and that is just not fun when you are 24. Men that age do not have the boyish whit I still desire. At 46 "you've seen one you've see them all" is more the reality of a 24 year old girl. But I guess it depends on how low the ego is. I used to listen to this 42 year old guy rant to me about his 20 year old girl friend's behavior when it was stereotypical behavior of a teenage girl; nineteen comes before twenty. Not legal to drink in the States. He objectified her but didn't want all the mess that comes with a girl of 20 who has no business drinking with a guy old enough to be her dad's friend. Still you could say he was dating her just not very well. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

 Yeah, he has money.

This is a no-brainer.

[Blind-Sided]

I don't think it's "Common".... but it happens.  I made a couple threads on this about a year ago because... well... I'm in a relationship like this. I'm 49, and my current GF is 27.  At first... I don't know what she saw in me.  When I look in the mirror, I see an old guy.  She is young and pretty.   But, since it's not a "gold digger" or "Sugar Daddy" kind of situation... I've come to the conclusion that she was tired of guy who treated her like a plaything.  She was already married, and her exH was at best... was a room mate to her... and at worst... she was his "mom".   She basically had to take care of him in every way, and even though she talked to him all the time about it... he never picked up the slack.  They didn't have kids, and they both worked... so she was just asking for the basic stuff like him not leaving his dirty clothes on the floor, or emptying the dishwasher. 

So... depending on the girl... it could be the fact that she wants to be an "Adult" and the guys her age still act like kids.  And that's what she gets with an older guy.  And for me... I get a young pretty girl to be with.  

Edited January 17, 2021 by Blind-Sided

[Woggle]

It has been going on for a long time and will go on for a long time in the future. As long as they are both of legal age and consenting it is their business.

[Katkats7777]

I guess they both "compliment" each other. He is this big gym buff, has a 6 pack and by no means he has a beer belly.  He is balding at this point, but wears designer clothes. She is this bikini model. Lucky her she moved into his home. Honestly if anyone saw them out in public one would think that was his daughter. 

[neowulf]

Well as a man in his early 40's, I can't really imagine dating someone in their 20's.

There's simply too much water under the bridge.  The generational gaps just seem too much for me.

I once dated a woman 10 years younger than me when I was in my late 30's and that was enough for me to be put off it.

If you're chasing a friend, a partner and an equal, I think most people are going to be dating their contemporaries. 

[alphamale]

Most folk in their 20s are worthless 

[Prudence V]

After divorcing my (then-)husband (mid 30s), I mid 20s) came to the view that guys just don’t grow up until (at least) their 40s so I only considered guys in their 40s or 50s for romantic or sexual purposes. I don’t think it’s anything new. 
 

It all depends on where you are yourself, in terms of life stage. If you’re into going out and getting wrecked, then you probably want a teen or early 20s guy, however old you are. If you want someone you can have a proper conversation with, you’ll want someone older, who has some life experience and not just hotheaded opinions they think are universal truths. And if you want someone who knows their way around a woman’s body beyond just a place to ejaculate, don’t bother with anyone whose beard stubble doesn’t have at least some grey in it. 

[mark clemson]

Apparently an older man of 20+ years is at around 1% in the US. While that's a small %, there's 330 M people in the US, about 1/2 married, so 165 M, so a ballpark figure of maybe 1.6M of these folks floating around. So while uncommon, but certainly not unheard of. Put 'em all into a room and it'll sure look like plenty of people...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships#Age-hypogamy_in_relationships

[snowboy91]

I certainly wouldn't call it common, but it does happen. I'm now late 20s and haven't known anyone to date a guy much older than them, aside from the occasional girl taking part in a sugar daddy arrangement.

I imagine it's commonly tied to wealth, status and maturity, since younger guys can behave immaturely in their early 20s, but the age gap does make it harder to relate to each other in terms of interests, life experience, life stage, etc. so relationships with such large gaps rarely last. Though the only two examples of couples I've seen (30s to 50s, one married for 17 years!) are surprisingly rock solid.

[ThereSheGoes]

I don't think it's common per se, because it's pretty taboo to have such huge age gaps. And I personally don't see a lot of it. But being on OLD apps, I have been approached by older men, and I just can't do it, for the simply fact that I am a very bubbly woman, and that bubbly-ness can come across as child-like, and I just don't like that dynamic with older men. I don't want to feel like a child with her dad. But on the other hand, an older man can provide stability and (usually) can be a bit more responsible than their younger counter parts. And are usually interested in more serious, lasting relationships.....maybe because they already have one foot in the grave. 😋

I do find older men attractive, I just feel like such a child when I'm around them.

[Indigo Night]

It's common enough that there are well known stereotypes associated with it. "She has daddy issues" or "He must have money" and so on.

A good friend of mine who was 21 (at the time) dated a 56 year old man for 7 years. They got along better than most couples I knew that were close in age. They remained close friends until his passing. He wasn't wealthy, or particularly good looking, but he was genuinely kind with a great sense of humor.

We love who we love. Who cares what other people think. Because, if they love you, all that they should care about is your happiness. Sadly, some people just can't get past their own opinion, and wish their friend or loved one a long and loving relationship.

[Alpacalia]

Not in my day.

One can speculate it's because a much older male mate has socially desirable qualities that appeal to a much younger woman (security, social and financial status, etc.). 

Or, it may be that, in the simplest of terms, they are just a good match.

 

[elaine567]

In my experience the girls who went for older guys did so because they were not that successful at dating. 
Younger guys did not flock to them.
Not good looking enough, "old souls", girls who did not really fit in. 
This older guy comes along who thinks she is fantastic, a prize, and she grabs on to him.
He is happy he gets a much younger gf and she is happy too, as she gets "someone", thank God for that.

[Perdu]

Yes, it can be due to:

-her looking for a paternal figure;

-her being an older soul and not finding matches around her age;

-him having the life experience/maturity and the financial status she requires in order to be happy ;

-him having a midlife crisis and trying to stay young by dating much younger;

-they just being a good match, no matter the age difference.

So, it can be common due to all above.

[stillafool]

I've never been into older men because I already have a Daddy.  I remember the girls who dated older did so because they had very slim options, didn't attract guys in their age group. I knew one who was 22 and married a 49 year old and they stayed married until he died.  She never remarried.

[mark clemson]

6 hours ago, elaine567 said:

In my experience the girls who went for older guys did so because they were not that successful at dating.

I think this represents some fair % of them as well.  There are no doubt some other possible reasons such as an unlucky string of bad or unsatisfactory relationships with closer age matches, actual "Daddy issues" (whatever that means), actual gold digging, etc. Or just happening to fall for the guy.

[GeorgiaPeach1]

On 1/16/2021 at 10:40 PM, Katkats7777 said:

There's this guy that I dated last year and I found out his dad who is 46 is now dating a 24 year old woman. I can get why older men would date younger women, but why would she be interested in him at his age? Yeah, he has money and built his half a million dollar home. And he has 3 adult children who happen to be around HER age?! Isn't that awkward?  What could he have in common hanging with bunch of couples in their 20's anyway? I have an older brother who is in his 40's and I don't seem to have anything in common with his friends-mostly due to the age difference. And most of them are married to their college sweethearts, then again they seem to be old fashioned and art nerds. 

It's easier to pull the wool over the eyes of a young woman. Older women have experience with the promises, half-truths, excuses, convenient omissions, etc... and can't be fooled as easily.

Also, hanging with a much younger woman takes a man's mind off the fact that he's lived half or more of his life already.

[flitzanu]

it could just be that the guy in his 40s may be leagues cooler than guys in their 20s.

[elaine567]

36 minutes ago, flitzanu said:

it could just be that the guy in his 40s may be leagues cooler than guys in their 20s.

Yeah sure!
I guess you are in your forties...

[dramafreezone]

On 1/16/2021 at 9:12 PM, Weezy1973 said:

I would say it’s quite uncommon. I believe the average age gap in marriages is 2.5 years. 

Dating =/= marriage.  I think the subject is specifically referring to dating.

I'm 41 and women in their 20s flirt with me frequently.  I'm sure I could date them.  A lot of women at that age see a man that has his life together and it's attractive.  Also I have zero inclination to put any women in her 20s on a pedestal, so maybe that's part of it too.

Other women at that age aren't attracted to older men at all.  It's just preferences.

Edited January 22, 2021 by dramafreezone