Lately I have been mean to my girlfriend. I feel like she's changed but she doesn't think she has. She's been annoying me more often. I don't think I have lost feelings.

[George Gracie]

As of the past weekend I been feeling like my girlfriend has been acting differently. I feel like it’s in my head my anxiety. I love and care about her deeply. But she’s been more annoying. I have been rude to her a lot. But after I’m mean I come to regret it and say I’m sorry and love her. I feel like I love her but why has our relationship gotten like this.

[George Gracie]

1 minute ago, George Gracie said:

As of the past weekend I been feeling like my girlfriend has been acting differently. I feel like it’s in my head my anxiety. I love and care about her deeply. But she’s been more annoying. I have been rude to her a lot. But after I’m mean I come to regret it and say I’m sorry and love her. I feel like I love her but why has our relationship gotten like this.

I also don’t feel as attached as I was.

[d0nnivain]

Why would you be rude to someone you profess to love?  Her changed attitude may be a negative reaction to how you have been treating her. 

Is your decreased attraction based on how she looks or how you perceive her to be acting?  If it's the latter, try being kinder to her & more romantic.  I bet she perks right up.  

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately, you have a lot of mixed feelings. It's better to let her go than be mean. It's probably related to rebounding.

 

[George Gracie]

36 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately, you have a lot of mixed feelings. It's better to let her go than be mean. It's probably related to rebounding.

 

I don’t understand why people get a rebound she’s so much more than that. That’s disrespectful as hell. She’s so beautiful and smart. 

[d0nnivain]

2 minutes ago, George Gracie said:

I don’t understand why people get a rebound she’s so much more than that. That’s disrespectful as hell. She’s so beautiful and smart. 

Just because she is beautiful & smart doesn't mean you are in an emotional place to accept all of her good qualities.  You may still be hung up on the EX & your present behavior may be a subconscious expression of your conflicted emotions.  Her good qualities can't override your feelings.  

If the above isn't true, why do you think you are being rude to her & why do you think you have lost attraction for her?  

[George Gracie]

29 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Just because she is beautiful & smart doesn't mean you are in an emotional place to accept all of her good qualities.  You may still be hung up on the EX & your present behavior may be a subconscious expression of your conflicted emotions.  Her good qualities can't override your feelings.  

If the above isn't true, why do you think you are being rude to her & why do you think you have lost attraction for her?  

I don’t know why I am being rude. I love and care about her so much. I don’t wanna be mean to her. I still think she is attractive. I just don’t feel as attached. I mean there are some days I feel so I’m love it’s crazy. Then there are days like the last three where I don’t know if I love her.

[George Gracie]

31 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Just because she is beautiful & smart doesn't mean you are in an emotional place to accept all of her good qualities.  You may still be hung up on the EX & your present behavior may be a subconscious expression of your conflicted emotions.  Her good qualities can't override your feelings.  

If the above isn't true, why do you think you are being rude to her & why do you think you have lost attraction for her?  

I want to fall in love with her.

[elaine567]

56 minutes ago, George Gracie said:

I don’t understand why people get a rebound she’s so much more than that. That’s disrespectful as hell. She’s so beautiful and smart. 

Being a rebound is nothing to do with the qualities she may or may not have.
She is a rebound because you started dating her too soon and before you had the chance to fully process the loss of your ex...

[George Gracie]

13 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Being a rebound is nothing to do with the qualities she may or may not have.
She is a rebound because you started dating her too soon and before you had the chance to fully process the loss of your ex...

Ok but I love her and care for her. Just sometimes I don’t feel that romantic love but there are sometimes I do.

[d0nnivain]

46 minutes ago, George Gracie said:

I want to fall in love with her.

Stop trying to force it.  Enjoy her company.  Have fun together.  Appreciate her by being kinder to her, not rude.  

It will flow if it's meant to be.  Chill 

[basil67]

OK, so when you're being rude to her, what are you feeling inside at the time?

 

[primer]

Have you ever been alone? What's the longest you have gone alone?

 

[dramafreezone]

I think the attraction is gone, simple as that.  May be time to take a break and date other people.  Doesn't mean that you or she isn't a good person anymore.  Most relationships just run their course.

That romantic stuff fades for most people.  Those that stay together after that do so because of shared interests, or because that person brings something they value into their lives.  Do either of those apply to you?  If not, then why are you with her?  You deserve someone that makes you happy and so does she.

Edited January 19, 2021 by dramafreezone

[George Gracie]

2 hours ago, primer said:

Have you ever been alone? What's the longest you have gone alone?

 

2 years

[George Gracie]

1 hour ago, dramafreezone said:

I think the attraction is gone, simple as that.  May be time to take a break and date other people.  Doesn't mean that you or she isn't a good person anymore.  Most relationships just run their course.

That romantic stuff fades for most people.  Those that stay together after that do so because of shared interests, or because that person brings something they value into their lives.  Do either of those apply to you?  If not, then why are you with her?  You deserve someone that makes you happy and so does she.

She brings me happiness . I still find her beautiful I just haven’t went like wow n a couple of days. I spent the day with her today and it was fun. We watched a little bit of a movie and cuddled. Last Friday I felt so in love it was crazy. And today I was still happy I mean I overthought a little bit. But I just know how that goes so I stopped it. I walk with her in the hallways and I smile. I don’t know why I just do. I find myself usually feeling in love when I’m happy. When I’m not happy I’m just kinda chilling. She says talking to me makes her day. And all these things but they aren’t like that for me. Talking to her is just a daily thing. Without talking to her the day goes so slow and boring. She means the world to I do t wanna hurt her. I just want real long lasting love. I don’t overthink near as much as I used to and when I do I don’t freak out anymore. The thoughts just sit there.

[Wiseman2]

Do you have mood swings often? Maybe it's not about her.

[Perdu]

Feeling hot and cold about someone that you find so amazing, may indicate that your mood swings have nothing to do with her, but with you and you should investigate that.

If you didn't have them before dating her, then they may be a sign of being on a rebound. You may not be ready to be in love yet, no matter how beautiful or smart this girl is. It's just too soon for you and you should accept that and let her go. It's the decent thing to do.

[Trail Blazer]

Do you get bored easily?  I mean, in general life?  Do you seek constant stimulation from your environment and the people around you?

I guess I want to know if this problem is about your girlfriend, or is it really about you and things you need to work on for yourself.

[d0nnivain]

10 hours ago, George Gracie said:

 I still find her beautiful I just haven’t went like wow n a couple of days.

I walk with her in the hallways and I smile.

How old are you two?  The hallways comment above makes me think you are still in school.

Nobody says "wow" about their partner all the time.  The butterflies fade.  Every time you describe what you think love is it sounds very story-book ish, something straight out of a romance novel bearing little resemblance to what real lasting love is -- a sense of steadfast, rock solid calm.  You want the roller-coaster of the early honeymoon days of falling in love. 

[George Gracie]

59 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Do you have mood swings often? Maybe it's not about her.

Yes quit often.

[George Gracie]

13 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

How old are you two?  The hallways comment above makes me think you are still in school.

Nobody says "wow" about their partner all the time.  The butterflies fade.  Every time you describe what you think love is it sounds very story-book ish, something straight out of a romance novel bearing little resemblance to what real lasting love is -- a sense of steadfast, rock solid calm.  You want the roller-coaster of the early honeymoon days of falling in love. 

Well what’s real lasting love.

[d0nnivain]

It's much more calm & peaceful.  It's a sense of completeness, knowing the other person will be there, is reliable. 

[George Gracie]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

It's much more calm & peaceful.  It's a sense of completeness, knowing the other person will be there, is reliable. 

So it’s knowing that someone is there for you and being loved and cared for and doing the same back.

[George Gracie]

4 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

How old are you two?  The hallways comment above makes me think you are still in school.

Nobody says "wow" about their partner all the time.  The butterflies fade.  Every time you describe what you think love is it sounds very story-book ish, something straight out of a romance novel bearing little resemblance to what real lasting love is -- a sense of steadfast, rock solid calm.  You want the roller-coaster of the early honeymoon days of falling in love. 

We work in the same restaurant.