annabelle49 Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Hi my name is Annabelle At first I need to apologize for that terrible english but, as u did guess, it's not my native language. So Im a beautician and my husband, for 3 years now, just become policeman. All is great but with the job, daily things to do, my yoga… I struggle to get some time with him To fix that, we did decide to make some sport together. Few month before the pandemy… What was the more complicated was to find a sport that can fit for both of us. I wanted salsa but he refuses, he wants tennis but i hate racket sport… So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me judo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let’s try it… Finally, after a dozeon of lessons, we both had fun going there. I had the feeling to improve and feel really good practicing. We were on the same club, same training but we had our partner for the “fight part” in the end of the lesson. With the covid, we can’t go anymore, so a few days ago, he asked me to practice at home. Sure why not? We used a mat for safety and worked on the moves as in training. After one hour he challenged me in a friendly match, like for the normal session “if I dare” and he’ll show me “who’s the boss, it’s not like polish nails or yoga things…”, "let's fight fatty". Im a bit overweight (1m70 for 78kg of full love) but it has never be a problem for me, i accept me as I am and im ok for gentle teasing. I do it too for policemen.. We hang each other kimono and turn around. I quickly noticed the previous exercices tired him more than me. I pull his sleeve, to the left, to the right, I straighten my leg out and fall on him to the ground. He struggle to escape but I hold his wrists, i pin him and count to 10 (we need to pin the opponent 10 sec to win). I gently tease him "ow your fatty got you badly babe" but it didnt make it smile... I help him to get up and we prepare for 2nd round."Let's go big biy show me what u got!" Now he seems really focus. I can't stop giggling while he seems really serious. He tried to crotch my leg but I counter him, he fall and so I lie on his back. I catch one his arm and bend it on his back. I can't stop my laugh and I tease him "you are under arrest young male for lack of respect to elders" while I gently pull out his pant and spank him. Yes I forget, i am older I am 29 and he is 25 so Im his "old wife"(dont know if there is an equivalent to my language) I get up and can't stop laughing. I prepare for another round telling him "ready for another spank babe?" But he was mad saying "no no stop that" and leave the room. Well it seems silly for me but atmosphere is now so cold. He just ignore me, dont talk and isolate himself... I tried to talk him but he instantly get mad and leave the room... I asked him if it's because judo is said na and anyway that sport is sh*t and he doesnt want to do it anymore.... I think i've been too far on my teasing but during the action I just find it funny and I didn't exept at all it could have hurt his ego... Any ideas on how I can deal with that? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 I think your assessment of his hurt feelings is probably accurate. In many of the martial arts, including Judo and Jiu-Jitsu, stockier people tend to have an advantage for certain moves likes trips and throws. There is also the question of skill, aptitude, and amount of practice. Your husband might be a bit traditional and expect that a male is expected to beat a female in most physical competitions and thought (apparently incorrectly) that your skill levels and/or natural aptitude were similar. Guess he'll have to live and learn. I expect him to get over it. I would stop teasing him, though if you win. Martial arts are quite cool in many ways, hopefully he'll get over this and you can continue. They might potentially also save his life one day if he is a cop once he gets good at them. However, if he can't get over this, it might make sense to pick a different sport rather than have it become a wedge. Although I personally think it's not particularly realistic to think this way, given that there are women with black belts, MMA fighters, etc, many men do anyhow. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Haha this is awesome. Ya. He's butthurt. Hopefully he'll man up, get over it, and be excited that his wife is such a badass. His "I didn't want to do this sport anymore" is childish. Do stop teasing him through. You thoroughly bruised his ego and he probably deserved it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Oh and regardless of what he does you should stick with judo. It sounds like you enjoy it and are good at it. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 If he feels embarrassed, then it may be better not to play judo with one another. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author annabelle49 Posted January 20, 2021 Author Share Posted January 20, 2021 thx for ur answers I am full of culpability for that. I dont want him to feel bad. I dont dont even know if it s the fact I beat him, I tease him or the spank... Any plan I can do for him to feel better? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 1 hour ago, annabelle49 said: Any plan I can do for him to feel better? Probably just give him a week or two to get over it, and be flexible about whether to continue. If he doesn't want to continue and you do, you could point out that it could be very valuable for him as a cop to have this sort of training and to keep at it. (Hopefully after you, he won't underestimate a real, criminal opponent, but I don't think you should say that to him.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 I would leave the issue alone for now, don't bring it up. You know he's not happy about it right now, give him time to get past it on his own. For the sake of your marriage, I also would probably avoid other competitive sports with him. If you enjoy Judo, continue without him. Enjoy winning against other people, not your husband. Maybe try hiking - it gets you out and active, enjoying the outdoors, great opportunity for conversation too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 He'll get over this ... he's got a killer-strong partner. Dang! ... That can be quite sexy in a way. Don't over-worry this. Worse comes to worse, you got stop sparring with each other. Funny: I've been involved in social dance, and some couples just don't make good dance partners. These couples will dance together, but not all night, and each may have a favorite dancer who is not their partner and they don't really hide this. You guys can survive sparring with other people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 if its not funny to him,then its not funny. He is young. Closer to 20.you are older closer to 30. Best is go biking,walking, no compete sports. Till you guys get to know eachother more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 Find other ways to spend quality time together. If what was supposed to bring you closer rends you apart, what is the point? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Perdu Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 You hurt his ego, which seems fragile. It seems to me like you are more secure about yourself than he is, so you can ty to agree on something that's in his comfort zone, that does not involve any competition or trigger his shame. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatDude76 Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 You likely bruised his ego, but don't worry you did nothing wrong in my opinion. Its attractive that you are so strong and capable! I have a question for you though, did this incident make you less attracted to him in any way? Do you look at him differently now? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 (edited) I was laughing when I read your post OP, that sounds like fun! but i’m into physical training so i would’ve made a joke out of a woman kicking my ass, like pretend mad. He’s uptight, and he doesn’t want to salsa dance? come on. to make him feel better? he needs more spanking. Edited January 20, 2021 by Interstellar 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 🤣🤣🤣🥋I almost fell over laughing at your post OP. Just make his favorite dinner and .................. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 maybe you should be the police officer and he should be the beautician 1 Link to post Share on other sites
deepthinking Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 (edited) 21 hours ago, annabelle49 said: thx for ur answers I am full of culpability for that. I dont want him to feel bad. I dont dont even know if it s the fact I beat him, I tease him or the spank... Any plan I can do for him to feel better? yes, but you may have to be humble and also explain - truly - that as a woman, you really do need to stick up for yourself in dangerous places I am wondering if he just played judo gently on purpose because he is a guy and could beat you - and hurt you - i have been around men all my life {66 y o} and concluded this Edited January 20, 2021 by deepthinking Link to post Share on other sites
Author annabelle49 Posted January 20, 2021 Author Share Posted January 20, 2021 6 hours ago, ThatDude76 said: You likely bruised his ego, but don't worry you did nothing wrong in my opinion. Its attractive that you are so strong and capable! I have a question for you though, did this incident make you less attracted to him in any way? Do you look at him differently now? lol... I just find it funny and cute at that moment but I always see him as my man, nothing at all change Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 On 1/19/2021 at 5:55 PM, annabelle49 said: I asked him if it's because judo is said na and anyway that sport is sh*t and he doesnt want to do it anymore.... Hahahaha! 😂😂😂 That's what he gets for calling you fatty. Just my two cents! Lol! Link to post Share on other sites
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