Shouldn't be dating if one can't afford it. a gentleman doesn't mind feeding a lady.

[basil67]

12 minutes ago, peach302 said:

Your previous posts seemed to have that stance.

How women are entitled when they want to be treated on a first meet and how there's no way in hell you or any man should do that because a lot of women want to use men etc etc.

Having a different approach to you doesn't make me a troll. Maybe try to be accepting of what others say 😂🤔

I would argue that calling a man "poor quality" because he doesn't pay is the height of entitlement.    Saying that he's not what you're looking for is one thing, but the judgement call is what tips it over the edge.

[Trail Blazer]

9 minutes ago, peach302 said:

Your previous posts seemed to have that stance.

How women are entitled when they want to be treated on a first meet and how there's no way in hell you or any man should do that because a lot of women want to use men etc etc.

Having a different approach to you doesn't make me a troll. Maybe try to be accepting of what others say 😂🤔

I will put it out there once and for all; I am not, repeat NOT bitter or jaded in any way.  Accept these words as they're coming from me.  What "seems" like something is just your distorted view.

If you don't believe me, fine.  However, know that for someone to be any of those things, they'd probably need to have a few poor experiences first.

Logically, why would someone who's never experienced anything truly negative be jaded?  My strike rate and success on OLD is pretty darn good, if I do say so myself.

It's my opinion that women who demand they be treated on a first date are entitled.  I've explained why on numerous occasions, so I will not do that again.  Refer back to one of my many posts on the topic.

I don't think you were trolling, but the difference of opinion wasn't what I was referring to.  I was referring to your seeimingly lack of understanding of what disillusionment is.  It's a very apt term to describe many women's sentiment about their dating outcomes. 

[peach302]

13 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I would argue that calling a man "poor quality" because he doesn't pay is the height of entitlement.    Saying that he's not what you're looking for is one thing, but the judgement call is what tips it over the edge.

Its not the height of entitlement. I was speaking from experience. That is usually what they turned out to be. There is a correlation.

[trident_2020]

27 minutes ago, peach302 said:

Your previous posts seemed to have that stance.

How women are entitled when they want to be treated on a first meet and how there's no way in hell you or any man should do that because a lot of women want to use men etc etc.

Having a different approach to you doesn't make me a troll. Maybe try to be accepting of what others say 😂🤔

A woman who expects to be treated on a first date is entitled.

That's true and such a woman is not for me and she's not for a lot of quality guys and that doesn't make us bitter.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't treat on a first date, it's all about the presumptiveness that because the guy has a penis dangling between his legs the wallet's gotta come out when the check arrives.

 

 

[peach302]

7 minutes ago, trident_2020 said:

A woman who expects to be treated on a first date is entitled.

That's true and such a woman is not for me and she's not for a lot of quality guys and that doesn't make us bitter.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't treat on a first date, it's all about the presumptiveness that because the guy has a penis dangling between his legs the wallet's gotta come out when the check arrives.

 

 

I only said the first time meeting though. I didnt say the rest of my life. I also didnt say it has to be a hugely expensive activity. Just not necessarily a boring coffee. I also didnt say im going to be sitting there demanding them to pay and giving dirty looks if they refuse..

I've met some who are pretty vocal about not paying and looking at me to take out money😂. That is offputting and i won't accept im an entitled person for saying all those things.

But i guess some men can't even manage that.

Edited January 27, 2021 by peach302

[trident_2020]

2 minutes ago, peach302 said:

I only said the first time meeting though. 

I heard you the first 100 times.

 

[peach302]

1 minute ago, trident_2020 said:

I heard you the first 100 times.

 

Don't think you did mate!

 

[trident_2020]

We don't communicate well peachy I don't think it's going to work out.

[peach302]

6 minutes ago, trident_2020 said:

We don't communicate well peachy I don't think it's going to work out.

😬 goodbye  then! Your losssssss

[trident_2020]

I feel so used. 😟

 

[poppyfields]

36 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

It's my opinion that women who demand they be treated on a first date are entitled. 

TB, I think what might be tripping people up is your using the word "date" to describe a first "meet."  A first meet is what you've been describing, two virtual strangers meeting to determine if there is a physical attraction such that they would want to go out on a "date."

First meet = coffee, a drink at a bar which is where you met your girlfriend and I met my STBX, or a walk in the park, things like that.

A first date, imo and experience, happens after it has been determined, after meeting in person either on line or IRL, that there is a mutual attraction.

And when a man invites a woman out on a date, many women including myself (although as I said earlier I am starting to change my mindset about it), while not expecting a man to pay necessarily or god forbid "demanding" he pay, believe it's very nice when a man pays and makes the date somewhat special.

Is that entitled?  I don't think so.  He invited me out!  

A first meet, sure the argument can be made that it should be split, although the men I met never allowed me to pay even when I offered.

I know we're talking semantics here, but those two words - meet and date - mean different things to different people and I am thinking that might be where the disconnect is.

Just a thought.

 

 

Edited January 28, 2021 by poppyfields

[peach302]

2 minutes ago, trident_2020 said:

I feel so used. 😟

 

Too bad! 😂

[peach302]

11 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

TB, I think what might be tripping people up is your using the word "date" to describe a first "meet."  A first meet is what you've been describing, two virtual strangers meeting to determine if there is a physical attraction such that they would want to go out on a "date."

First meet = coffee, a drink at a bar which is where you met your girlfriend and I met my STBX, or a walk in the park, things like that.

A first date, imo and experience, happens after it has been determined, after meeting in person either on line or IRL, that there is a mutual attraction.

And when a man invites a woman out on a date, many women including myself (although as I said earlier I am starting to change my mindset about it), while not expecting a man to pay necessarily or god forbid "demanding" he pay, believe it's very nice when a man pays and makes the date somewhat special.

Is that entitled?  I don't think so.  He invited me out!  

A first meet, sure the argument can be made that it should be split, although the men I met never allowed me to pay even when I offered.

I know we're talking semantics here, but those two words - meet and date - mean different things to different people and I am thinking that might be where the disconnect is.

Just a thought.

 

 

I actually meant meeting though 😂. The first time seeing someone. 

A lot of people may disagree but i don't think I'll budge on that.

And to be honest most do just pay. They don't make a fuss. The odd ones who do..i let it be and found out later they were terrible people. Hence i said there is a correlation 😂

 

Edited January 28, 2021 by peach302

[littleblackheart]

My idea of a dream date is a picnic on the beach, a walk in the park (pre covid, even), a cosy chat in a quiet place - not a bar, a restaurant or a 'fun thing' to do with someone I don't know well. Whenever I get back to health and start in-person dating, I'd like to make it a requirement for any interested gentleman. Time is the biggest investment you can make.

[Trail Blazer]

@poppyfields

Are you telling me that everyone has a "first meet" before a first date?

From what I'm reading here, the women who take issue with going to a coffee shop are not separating a first meet from a first date.  They're one and the same.

Technically the coffee shop meet is still a date.  It's the first date.  I just happen to view it as a meet-up, because really, I'm only trying to establish whether there's any attraction beyond a few profile photos.

Unless the women taking issue with a coffee shop date are in agreement that the first meet-up isn't the first date, then I'll stick to what I believe which is that I'll wine and dine someone on the second encounter if I like them and I'll gladly pay for the lot.

[poppyfields]

28 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

@poppyfields

Are you telling me that everyone has a "first meet" before a first date?

With on line, yes.  You have to meet first to determine if there is a physical attraction, no?  If you click, then have a date, even the same night!

Which is what happened with my STBX.  We met at a bar for drinks, we immediately clicked in person same way we did on line, after which he invited me to have dinner with him at the restaurant, wherein he paid.

So it was a first meet that turned into a first date.

I know, again semantics, but that's how I view it.

That said, peach said for her no difference, meet or date, the man pays.  I am sure other women feel the same.

I don't agree with that but I am not going to argue about what works for them or what they prefer.

And if you wish to call such women entitled, that's your right too.  I don't agree with that either necessarily, not all women.  

It's just a preference. 

 

Edited January 28, 2021 by poppyfields

[MeadowFlower]

Why don't people just pay for their own dam food. 

[peach302]

30 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said:

Why don't people just pay for their own dam food. 

Its called dating that's why. Not friendship. 

[Trail Blazer]

19 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

With on line, yes.  You have to meet first to determine if there is a physical attraction, no?  If you click, then have a date, even the same night!

Which is what happened with my STBX.  We met at a bar for drinks, we immediately clicked in person same way we did on line, after which he invited me to have dinner with him at the restaurant, wherein he paid.

So it was a first meet that turned into a first date.

I know, again semantics, but that's how I view it.

That said, peach said for her no difference, meet or date, the man pays.  I am sure other women feel the same.

I don't agree with that but I am not going to argue about what works for them or what they prefer.

And if you wish to call such women entitled, that's your right too.  I don't agree with that either necessarily, not all women.  

It's just a preference. 

 

Of course!  That's exactly what I've been saying.  But most of the women here aren't having any of that!  They expect to be wined and dined on the first encounter.

The issue isn't about paying.  I'll pay for the coffee, or that glass or two of wine, on the first encounter.  If I like her enough to invite her for a second meet (date), I'll take her somewhere really nice.  And, I'll pay for that, too!

What I won't do, is go all-out on a first encounter because it seems pointless to do something like that with a total stranger I've never met and hav no idea if I like or will jave intentions to meet again.

That's how I roll.  It works for me.  It doesn't work for some of the women on here as the feedback coming through is that they view such an attitude as being stingy, or demonstrating a lack of funds.  Neither of which is correct, but that is their perception.

So, if that's not entitlement of the highest order then I don't know what is! 

[peach302]

3 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Of course!  That's exactly what I've been saying.  But most of the women here aren't having any of that!  They expect to be wined and dined on the first encounter.

The issue isn't about paying.  I'll pay for the coffee, or that glass or two of wine, on the first encounter.  If I like her enough to invite her for a second meet (date), I'll take her somewhere really nice.  And, I'll pay for that, too!

What I won't do, is go all-out on a first encounter because it seems pointless to do something like that with a total stranger I've never met and hav no idea if I like or will jave intentions to meet again.

That's how I roll.  It works for me.  It doesn't work for some of the women on here as the feedback coming through is that they view such an attitude as being stingy, or demonstrating a lack of funds.  Neither of which is correct, but that is their perception.

So, if that's not entitlement of the highest order then I don't know what is! 

No one said anything about going all out. But whatever it is they decide on doing..it would be good if the man just took charge and paid. Like damn not that hard to understand!.

Its not entitlement ..just something some women..clearly not just me..Like! 

 

Edited January 28, 2021 by peach302

[Trail Blazer]

1 minute ago, peach302 said:

No one said anything about going all out. But whatever it is they decide on doing..it would be good if the man just took charge and paid. Like damn not that hard to understand!.

 

Like I've taken charge and paid for the coffee every single time?  Gotcha! 😉

[peach302]

4 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Like I've taken charge and paid for the coffee every single time?  Gotcha! 😉

Yeah or whatever it is.

Whichever activity! 

[basil67]

2 hours ago, peach302 said:

Its not the height of entitlement. I was speaking from experience. That is usually what they turned out to be. There is a correlation.

Who are you to suggest that someone else is "poor quality"?   And yes, I'd ask the same of a man if he judged a woman as being poor quality.   

People may not be the kind of people we want to date and this is entirely fair.   But judgement calls like this are so rude.

Edited January 28, 2021 by basil67

[basil67]

So if a woman initiates the date, is the guy still supposed to pay?  

[peach302]

10 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Who are you to suggest that someone else is "poor quality"?   And yes, I'd ask the same of a man if he judged a woman as being poor quality.   

People may not be the kind of people we want to date and this is entirely fair.   But judgement calls like this are so rude.

I disagree. I dont find them rude. 🤔. And i would be the same when it comes to women too. 

Its not even about the money. I look at the person as a whole.

Edited January 28, 2021 by peach302