Square One

[BaileyB]

You’ve made the courageous and right decision. Please take care. 

[pepperbird2]

On 1/22/2021 at 1:38 PM, Wildflower201 said:

I'm not happy. He would have me believe that I have more than half of him, but no. I'm not happy. Coping, not happy. 

Before we were back together, he was threatening to take them, giving the bare minimum for them, refusing to even video chat them, etc. He has done better as far as the kids are considered since we have been back together. 

 

It's just now seeing how low the reality of this brought me that I feel the kids may not be a little better off. 

Feeling sick for the kids, yes. His wife, no.

His wife has known about me the entire time. When he and I were together legitimately,  she forced herself into the picture. She didn't care that we were together, and she didn't care about him being faithful to me. Every time he attempted to sever ties with her, she would show up at family gatherings knowing that he was trying to move on with me. 

She knows about the new baby, and has tried to forbid him from seeing them. At this point, she is continuing knowing how and who he really is and knowing that he is going to cheat...and that he has two children with me and that every single time he comes back. 

Yea, I was thinking about just staying off of social media entirely because it affected me way more than I thought it would. 

madam,

stop blaming her and start putting the blame where it lies. Why do YOU choose to stay and put up with this nonsense. Why do you expose your children to it?
Haven't you been hurt enough already?
 

[pepperbird2]

16 hours ago, Wildflower201 said:

Right now will be the beginning of my first 24 hours of no contact with him. I'm tired of being so sad. I'm sure part of it is post partum, but I know part of it is this situation. 

I can't prove it, but I always feel like he is lying. I'm tired of not deserving better. 

I'm not saying anything to end it, just going to disappear.  

My brain feels scrambled trying to convince myself of his lies, I guess, and I'm having trouble thinking clearly. I can't keep up with him switching back and forth between present and helpful and neglectful and absent. He had been better, as far as his temper and abuse (there were only a couple of threats when I did things he told me not to). But it still isn't right. I'm not happy, and I can't be a good mom when I'm like this.

I try to sleep as much as possible to avoid being conscious for the majority of the day. I figure if I have to do that to cope with hurting while being with him, I can do it to cope with the pain of severing ties. So. 

Thank you guys for your help and advice. I know you were right and I'm appreciative for all your effort. 

I, for one, think you deserve a heck of a lot better than what he's giving you. I know it's easier for you to blame his wife than to blame him, but really, he is the one that is the root of all of this.
He's never going to change, so it's up to you to do it.
Think of it this way. Did you somehow "lure" him away from her? Did you hold him down, kicking and screaming, until he had no choice but to be with you?
Of course not, and neither did she. Either he has zero backbone (bad) or he's doing just what he wants, never mind he's hurting two women plus his own kids. (worse)

[Findingfreedom]

On 1/21/2021 at 10:28 PM, Wildflower201 said:

We are back "together". He made life a living hell until we were. I didn't realize that was actually what he wanted until very recently. 

Our baby is 2 weeks old. He is a completely different man to me and father because we are together again. 

His wife posted a video today wearing her ring and she hadn't worn it in a really really long time. It made me angry. 

It made me really not want to do this again. It made me remember who he is. 

I'm kind of frozen. Help. 

 

All of a sudden I'm depressed and crying and I hate him. Our 3 year old won't stop crying and the baby wants to be held and he is somewhere trying to convince his wife that he doesn’t have anything to do with me or our kids. 

We were talking about an alternative path. Him having two families. Now the thought makes my chest hurt. 

I feel so sick. 

Do you love your kids? Because if you do you need to get rid of him. If he is treating you this way and denying being with you how do you think he is going to treat the kids as they get older! It’s time to grow up and be a REAL mom for your beautiful children! He doesn’t deserve them and right now you are their voice! Protect them!!!!!