QuietRiot Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 I am finding this main complaint mostly among women. I'm a part of this singles group on FB, and there was a discussion about dating and this woman said she cannot find a man in the STATE worth dating. And I was like "Really? The ENTIRE state?" I recall a real life female friend that said something like this, but just in a major city she's living in. She says they are either all gay or just not what she's looking for. That said, can you really feel sorry for these types that discount an entire population of which they live, even if they've declared an entire state or large city filled with un-date-able men? Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 In that case... it's because she has a bad attitude. (and that could be the entire problem with her) But I get it. My brother lives away from a city center... and tried to do some OLD. It's not rural... but it's more "Out in the country" or "Small Town" feel. Problem was... everyone who would respond was on the opposite (more populated) side of the city. So... it would be a +2 hr drive. And... regardless of what people want to think... distance makes it hard to make a connection... and you spend a good chunk of your day just driving. After a bunch of years... he finally found someone who was local to him, and they have been together for a couple years now. Myself... I had a good network of friends, so after my divorce... I had single girls tossed at me. LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 19 hours ago, QuietRiot said: an entire state or large city filled with un-date-able men? She's undatable, that's all. When every single man in her cross hairs is either gay, a pig, commitmentphobic, too old, too young, too short, too tall,etc.etc.,etc. She had better stock up on catfood because that's going to be her only dinner companionship. If this is the tone of this FB group, leave the group and the negativity in it. Sounds like incels for women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted January 23, 2021 Author Share Posted January 23, 2021 (edited) 50 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: In that case... it's because she has a bad attitude. (and that could be the entire problem with her) But I get it. My brother lives away from a city center... and tried to do some OLD. It's not rural... but it's more "Out in the country" or "Small Town" feel. Problem was... everyone who would respond was on the opposite (more populated) side of the city. So... it would be a +2 hr drive. And... regardless of what people want to think... distance makes it hard to make a connection... and you spend a good chunk of your day just driving. After a bunch of years... he finally found someone who was local to him, and they have been together for a couple years now. Myself... I had a good network of friends, so after my divorce... I had single girls tossed at me. LOL. I'm kind of in the same situation, I live about an hour away from a large city, as I live in a cluster of small towns that shut their lights off at 9pm on a Fri night. 10pm tops. I remember going to a town square with a date, and I saw a band playing...unfortunately, it was on the tail end of their gig, and it was dusk (when I was thinking things were just getting started). They started to pack their instruments up and went home lol Anyways, when I browse the dating profiles within 10 to 15 miles of my area, its' the same faces of mostly "hills have eyes" type of women, if there are any semblance of educated, attractive single ladies...they are few and far between (the attractive ones typically are Realtors for some reason lol)...but it's been the same faces year after year on these sites. Most of which had ignored my messages. Edited January 23, 2021 by QuietRiot Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 I think when any one is in a group, where the pickings are slim then it easy to get to the end of all the suitable and available people in their area. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted January 23, 2021 Author Share Posted January 23, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, elaine567 said: I think when any one is in a group, where the pickings are slim then it easy to get to the end of all the suitable and available people in their area. Right, there is a finite amount of single people over 30 in the area. lol The rest are married or spoken for. Every year I would sometimes see the same woman, and try another message to her to see if she bites. You'd figured they'd realize that their dating options are limited, and perhaps give a quick meet n greet a shot. Edited January 23, 2021 by QuietRiot Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 It can feel like that sometimes. I too live in a small bedroom community filed with happy families. When I was single there wasn't much going on. I learned to make the effort & look around places other than the bar scene. I met my husband at a business card exchange. I also found dates at political events & through volunteer opportunities. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 A few years back, I was re-doing a house in a small desolate area (desert town - population of 2K ). I met a single woman (divorced) when her car broke down on the side of the road. There was no cell service (at that time) and I didn't want her stuck along the side of the road all night or try to walk home, so I stopped and helped. I gave her a ride home and we exchanged business cards. Oddly, she was in real estate and worked from her home. I called her the next day with the excuse of checking to see if she was able to get a tow service to pick up her broken car, which she had. Then I invited her out for steaks at the only restaurant in that town, to which she agreed. We end up dating for a while until I sold that home and moved. I think there are available single women everywhere, you just have to get out into the world and meet them. Yes, I know the pandemic makes that near impossible right now, but when the pandemic subsides you really need to get out, get social and talk to people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 3 hours ago, QuietRiot said: I'm kind of in the same situation, I live about an hour away from a large city, as I live in a cluster of small towns that shut their lights off at 9pm on a Fri night. 10pm tops. I remember going to a town square with a date, and I saw a band playing...unfortunately, it was on the tail end of their gig, and it was dusk (when I was thinking things were just getting started). They started to pack their instruments up and went home lol Anyways, when I browse the dating profiles within 10 to 15 miles of my area, its' the same faces of mostly "hills have eyes" type of women, if there are any semblance of educated, attractive single ladies...they are few and far between (the attractive ones typically are Realtors for some reason lol)...but it's been the same faces year after year on these sites. Most of which had ignored my messages. Have you tired biting the bullet and including the large city within your search area? An hour drive is not ideal but can be done (I've done it), especially if people meet halfway...and once things get going an hour drive to spend the night or even a weekend is nothing. Low population density can really limit your choices, although where I live some of the best (on paper) women I recall where from the lightly populated rural regions a good hour away, just having done that focused on those closer to home. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted January 23, 2021 Share Posted January 23, 2021 1 hour ago, QuietRiot said: ... You'd figured they'd realize that their dating options are limited, and perhaps give a quick meet n greet a shot. This seems to be a theme. As my post above, it kind of goes both ways...you may need to expand how far you are willing to travel to date as it seems you believe your options within 10-15 miles are limited as well. It is not certain how limited these women's options really are, or they may be perfectly content for waiting for the right man to show up, if it happens it happens, and not "settle." As long as they are good with that it is perfectly legitimate. Of course you will always get people (men and women) who will moan about how they can't find anyone and double down on all their own behaviors and beliefs that are most likely making that their reality. Yet just because someone is picky doesn't mean they moan about it, sometimes though despite all one's best efforts reality steps in (as if I was stationed at McMurdo station I should not expect to having any dating options. :) ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted January 23, 2021 Author Share Posted January 23, 2021 (edited) 56 minutes ago, SumGuy said: This seems to be a theme. As my post above, it kind of goes both ways...you may need to expand how far you are willing to travel to date as it seems you believe your options within 10-15 miles are limited as well. It is not certain how limited these women's options really are, or they may be perfectly content for waiting for the right man to show up, if it happens it happens, and not "settle." As long as they are good with that it is perfectly legitimate. Of course you will always get people (men and women) who will moan about how they can't find anyone and double down on all their own behaviors and beliefs that are most likely making that their reality. Yet just because someone is picky doesn't mean they moan about it, sometimes though despite all one's best efforts reality steps in (as if I was stationed at McMurdo station I should not expect to having any dating options. ) [quote]Have you tired biting the bullet and including the large city within your search area? [/quote] Of course, I am willing to travel to date, been doing that for years....even traveling an hour for any kind of social life beyond just a romantic one. The thing is, the women on dating sites think I live too far from THEM. lol I recall having a conversation with a social event with a woman that lived on the outskirts of town...she said that some guy she was talking to at a club called her "G.U." (Geographically Undesirable) I would be at some singles mixer andI name the town, they never heard the name or have a vague recollection and say, "Wow you came along way!" I was talking about in the original post that how these women even in the BIG city discount an entire geographic area. This made me think of a woman that joined POF, recently moved from said big city to MY area, and spefically said in her profile "locals only!" So she's not wiling to travel...and also mentions she won't date less than 5'10" (and she's only 5'4"). She has nothing to moan about, even in a bedroom community as she said that she has no issue getting dates with the local yokels. (Apparently, there are more single men in the area than there are women between 30s and 50s) She laments how she was genetically gifted with aging well, so she has a full dance card...and thusly, doesn't have to travel far and doesn't plan on it. Edited January 23, 2021 by QuietRiot Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 Basically on one hand it'd so often be the same ol same ol, she can't find someone so she's blaming this and that but l'll bet if you spent some real time around her you'd see the real problem. But on the other yeah whole districts can be basically filled with the same type of men or women, not all of course but the most common theme so to speak. After divorce looking around my area , and talking within hrs away radius not just down the road , l thought well , if this is all that's out there on offer at this age now, late 40s, it was shocking, looks like l'll be staying solo. In time though , hard time , l started seeing one or two hidden treasures , they were very few and far between though, but they were there . Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 (edited) I can see maybe if she lives in a little town... maybe ... but a whole state? My thoughts are she probably isn’t as all that as she thinks she is Edited January 24, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 Depends on the state. Delaware or Wyoming or a big city? And how far she is willing to drive. I regret being picky about that now. Some singles hate driving or trains. Then again the further away someone lives the greater should be the desire or need to see them Link to post Share on other sites
primer Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 I cannot find a man in my county that is worth dating. I believe they are out there, I just don't know where they are. Not everybody does online dating. There are some sitting home alone saying there is no one to date. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 Indeed @primer Not being able find something isn't suggesting that it doesn't exist. @QuietRiot you're being far too literal in your interpretation. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 24, 2021 Share Posted January 24, 2021 (edited) No doubt about it though , whatever the country or area , by the sounds everywhere has pockets and big differences in all this stuff. l often go across state or down through our main city with work. Few mths ago l had to go over and through one of my fav areas of the state and the difference in the women is just downright depressing . They're everywhere , stunners n honeys all over the place. Always is when l go through there l see more in one trip through there in one day than l'd see in 12 mths here, same with many other areas. l've always known l probably would've gone onto to a totally different new life after divorce if l moved away from here . As it panned out my women is from another state too. Edited January 24, 2021 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted January 25, 2021 Author Share Posted January 25, 2021 12 hours ago, chillii said: No doubt about it though , whatever the country or area , by the sounds everywhere has pockets and big differences in all this stuff. l often go across state or down through our main city with work. Few mths ago l had to go over and through one of my fav areas of the state and the difference in the women is just downright depressing . They're everywhere , stunners n honeys all over the place. Always is when l go through there l see more in one trip through there in one day than l'd see in 12 mths here, same with many other areas. l've always known l probably would've gone onto to a totally different new life after divorce if l moved away from here . As it panned out my women is from another state too. This reminds me of a joke told to me where I live, the punch line related to where I live (or any small city) "What do you call a good looking woman in <name of small town>?" Answer: "A Tourist! LOL" Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 27, 2021 Share Posted January 27, 2021 And to make that joke even funnier, the men are no better than the women 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 Well I used to live in a pretty small town and I had trouble finding guys I wanted to date (certain subculture, into certain things). I moved to a bigger city and it was like boom... now they are endless and it’s like being a kid in a candy store lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts