ForzaJuve Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 My girlfriend and I have been dating now for a few years. I used to think that she was the one, but some issues between us have gone unresolved for quite a long time. Recently, we had a great conversation and kind of laid everything out on the table, but I've been wondering if it's just too little, too late. I should have been more upfront about communicating my needs to her, I should have resisted putting all of those issues on the back burner and spending months just going through the motions. I definitely still love her, but that love feels different than earlier on in the relationship. I was head-over-heels in love, and I cherished every moment we spent together. A lot of the time, it feels like that spark of chemistry is missing, and it's been really hard to reignite it. A major concern for me at the moment is that I just can't seem to get the thought of this other woman out of my mind. I'm so confused as to why I seem to be attracted to this other person, I'm not actively pursuing her and every day I'm trying to push the thought of us together out of my mind. This whole development just makes me feel so guilty and alone. Feeling like my relationship became stagnant and catching feelings for someone else is how my last long-term relationship ended. I hate this pattern and the fact that I might be one of those people who gets bored and just continues to stay in a relationship until the next thing comes along. Or maybe it's more common than I think, and it's normal to experience personal changes and to want different things from your relationship every few years. Regardless, any and all advice is appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 Long-term relationships collapse for all kinds of reasons, but if you believe that this is an ongoing trend for you (i.e. general boredom) it might be better not to be in a relationship until you have established the cause. What, exactly, is it in your current partnership that you find unfulfilled that you are unhappy with? 7 minutes ago, ForzaJuve said: I hate this pattern and the fact that I might be one of those people who gets bored and just continues to stay in a relationship until the next thing comes along. Or maybe it's more common than I think, and it's normal to experience personal changes and to want different things from your relationship every few years. Regardless, any and all advice is appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted January 26, 2021 Share Posted January 26, 2021 Most of the time the grass on the other side of the fence is just that - more grass. You might be giving up something good to just jump to the other side only to discover it is different but not better. Boredom is a terrible reason to break up in my opinion. Boredom comes from within - not from your partner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 27, 2021 Share Posted January 27, 2021 My longest relationship was 15 years and we were not enamoured with each other every day for 15 years. Long term relationships have ups and downs, sometimes you feel infatuation like it's the first day and other times you get on each others nerve. What allows the relationship to last is love and the will to make it. If you are bored, make it unboring. Speak to your partner, tell her you're growing bored and want to rekindle the spark, go away together, do the things you did at the beginning that made you fall for her. Stay away from that other person, it's your responsability to stay away from anyone that could interfere in your relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 27, 2021 Share Posted January 27, 2021 On 1/26/2021 at 2:58 PM, notbroken said: Most of the time the grass on the other side of the fence is just that - more grass. Agree. Start watering your lawn at home.🥒🥦🍀🌿🌼 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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