d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 My neighbor died late last night. She was in her 80s with brain cancer. Her husband of 60 years has to be heart broken. Between Covid, the frigid cold, & his own cancer, I haven't seen him since she was hospitalized about 1 month ago. I learned of her death from a FB post by her son, who I am not close to. Another son lives with them. I'd like to do something for them but I don't know what. Normally I'd make food & bring it over but the son who posted is a professional chef so . . . .I thought about a plant but I'd need to leave it outside & it's too cold. I don't want the husband / dad to come outside in the bitter cold nor do I want to risk going in their house. Maybe cookies & I nice card? When I moved in 20 years ago, they were the 1st people who came over with a coffee cake to introduce themselves. Through various emergencies -- snow storms, power outages, hurricanes etc., DH & I would always check on the couple because at that time their kids all lived far away. They were so sweet. Anybody have any better ideas? I doubt there will be a full memorial with Covid so I am at a loss. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 (edited) I think a condolence card with a few handwritten sentences referencing how you still remember their welcome to the neighborhood would be really nice. My mother still goes back and reads through the cards that followed my dad's death and she really appreciates the personal notes that were shared. Edited January 25, 2021 by FMW 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 Sorry to hear this. Can you have a food/snack/fruit basket delivered? Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2021 Author Share Posted January 25, 2021 I suppose but they are literally 1 house away. Delivery seems . . . impersonal. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 I like your idea of baked goods and a nice card. In times of tragedy, homemade food is always appreciated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 26 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: I suppose but they are literally 1 house away. Delivery seems . . . impersonal. You can always pick up the phone and call as well as have a message attached. Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2021 Author Share Posted January 25, 2021 I will probably call in a few days . . . it's too new / raw right now & I'm just a neighbor. Now is the time for the close family & friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 I sent my friend's daughter an angel garden ornament ( they love their garden ) when her mother died last week. It was on amazon, I just searched for 'bereavement gift'. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 16 minutes ago, Ellener said: I sent my friend's daughter an angel garden ornament ( they love their garden ) when her mother died last week. It was on amazon, I just searched for 'bereavement gift'. Great idea in a time of covid, when deliveries are usual and normal. Especially in high risk people who may not want to open doors for people, but prefer a properly packaged item they can pick up outside the door. Not impersonal at all. Some people do not want homemade goods during covid either. They're not as quaint and homey as people used to think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 A card is always nice. With how you remember how they welcomed you. And dont matter what the sin is,you can make soup and some fresh bread from the store or self.made if u can make it yourself. Wave,and well you see him come outside you yall that you will come to him if its ok,to deliver the food.And wish him the best. If the food to much work.The card is also enough.🙂✌🏽Nice of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2021 Author Share Posted January 25, 2021 It's not that the food is too much work . . . it's that the son is a professional chef & my homemade cooking may not be up to snuff. In our neighbor. homemade is the norm, even through Covid. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, d0nnivain said: Maybe cookies & I nice card? That’s a sweet and thoughtful gesture, Don. I am sure it would mean a lot to them no matter your baking skills Edited January 25, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2021 Author Share Posted January 25, 2021 My baking skills are better than my cooking skills so that is why I was leaning to sweet Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 (edited) Yeah, I would probably drop off a casserole or just some bacon, eggs and hash browns(uncooked) and orange juice so they'd have breakfast food in case extra family is coming. With the B,E,OJ you wouldn't have to cook anything. Edited January 25, 2021 by stillafool 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kivan3x Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 cookies are a sweet idea. But I think generally food is, even if the son is a chef, I think they'd both really appreciate it, maybe especially the son! chef son gets a night off cooking, and they both get to enjoy a different meal than they're used to. Cooking is the best way to give something with a whole load of love put in imo. 2nd the casserole idea or a curry yum xx Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 I think food would be ok, even though the son is a chef. I doubt he wants to cook and I also doubt he'll be judging the quality of your food. I imagine he'll enjoy a home cooked meal he doesn't have to think about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 1. Breakfast foods. Professional chef or not, nobody ever brings over breakfast foods. Bagels, fruit salad, whatever. 2. Paper plates and plastic flatware. The last thing anybody wants to do when grieving is the dishes. 3. Share a nice memory with the gift you give. One thing that tends to bring people peace is hearing how many people knew and cared for their loved one(s). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 There's one other thing about loss, it's often very hectic for a few weeks or days, then everyone goes home and the person is left alone; that's often a lonely time when some attention might be appreciated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2021 Author Share Posted January 25, 2021 @Ellener I always make it a point to reach out about 1 month after a loss to say How are you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 26, 2021 Share Posted January 26, 2021 2 hours ago, lana-banana said: Share a nice memory with the gift you give. One thing that tends to bring people peace is hearing how many people knew and cared for their loved one(s). I agree with this. Even a card that says what you shared above - that they were the first to welcome you and how much their friendship has meant to you all these years. I would maybe make a donation to charity in her name. Something that was important to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Bella34 Posted January 26, 2021 Share Posted January 26, 2021 I think homemade food is a good option. My partner passed away very young and unexpectedly 8 weeks ago and I couldn’t even think straight never mind cook a meal for myself. My dad was dropping off homemade meals for me and although I wasn’t eating in they first few weeks with the grief, I started to try because it was there in front of me. I honestly think cooking will be the last thing the son wants/ is able to do right now. so I’m sure your gesture will be very much appreciated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 26, 2021 Author Share Posted January 26, 2021 I'm so sorry for your loss @Stelar33 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted January 26, 2021 Share Posted January 26, 2021 Sorry for your loss @Stelar33 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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