QTpie123 Posted January 29, 2021 Share Posted January 29, 2021 I finally told H that I was filing with a lawyer tomorrow. He is unhappy and wants to try to work on our marriage more. I don’t see a future there. I feel like the bad guy. can anyone tel me on average what their divorce cost? My H was telling me that it would cost upwards of $30,000. This is not what I understand to be true. We plan on going through mediation but I want a lawyer for legal advice and guidance. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted January 29, 2021 Share Posted January 29, 2021 55 minutes ago, QTpie123 said: I finally told H that I was filing with a lawyer tomorrow. He is unhappy and wants to try to work on our marriage more. I don’t see a future there. I feel like the bad guy. can anyone tel me on average what their divorce cost? My H was telling me that it would cost upwards of $30,000. This is not what I understand to be true. We plan on going through mediation but I want a lawyer for legal advice and guidance. Depends on your jurisdiction. If you can use a mediator and do a lot of the document preparation yourselves then a couple thousand on the low end. Loop in an atty then you'll probably get to around 5,000 if you don't get too acrimonious. If you both lawyer up, yeah 10-20,000 or so. And if you get really litigious then the sky is the limit! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted January 29, 2021 Share Posted January 29, 2021 It could be as little as a few hundred dollars if you can agree on everything, and just file at your local courthouse... or use something like Legal Zoom. Services like that will cost $400 or so, and they will give basic legal advice. Unless you are very wealthy, and have a lot of assets... or plan to battle for every last penny... $30K is ridiculous. But, keep that in mind. Every time you need your lawyer to fight for something... it may cost you more than the "Value" of the thing you are fighting over. (Consider you can buy a house full of furniture for less than a court battle to try to keep your old furniture) But... $10k is a realistic number. ($5k for each lawyer) In my case, the exW was worried about money, as I have family support, and she really didn't. She started getting mad at me for spending money out of the checking account. (it was the household account, but by this point she opened her own account) The final straw on that was... I spent $8 for a phone screen protector for our oldest daughter, and she yelled at me. I finally snapped, and said... "I don't give a dam if there is anything left in that account when it's over." (She obviously wanted half of what was in it) Anyway... I told the exW that if she got a lawyer... I HAVE TO GET a Lawyer, because I'm not one, and I would need to defend myself from whatever her lawyer would try to hit me with. And with that... it will cost more money. She got a lawyer, and when I got the paperwork... It said she was looking for alimony and possible child support. So, I had no choice other than to get my own lawyer. I'm not saying to not get a lawyer... because I don't know what the entire situation is. In my case... the exW went nutz, and wanted out. But there was no hidden money or assets, and I was willing to negotiate about everything. Heck... I told her she could have EVERYTHING... other than my personal items... if I was allowed to keep the my toys, and buy her out of the house. (Which would be good for the kids) Ultimately... the exW worked up an "Abuse" story. She went to the local abuse center, and tried to get a protection order thrown on me, and have me removed from the house. (To break me) And to get a FREE lawyer, and a bunch of FREE help. She worked the system, and took resources away from people who truly needed it, just because she didn't want to pay for a lawyer. So, it was an uphill battle for me, because I was being pre-judged by the people around me. (Because of this, I don't automatically believe the person yelling abuse anymore) OK... where am I going with this??? In the end... my divorce had $$$ for lawyers, and extra separation paperwork. Every penny of that came out of the "Marital Property." And, in the end... the exW didn't get anything more than she would have gotten as if we would have just sat down and talked to me about what she wanted. I guess I would say... sit down with the mediator, and if it doesn't go the way you are expecting... then look for a lawyer. It could save $$$ in the end. And in turn... put more $$$ in your pocket as you are walking away. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 29, 2021 Share Posted January 29, 2021 (edited) 7 hours ago, QTpie123 said: Can anyone tel me on average what their divorce cost? Are you filing? Why announce? That's your attorney's job when he sends your husband the paperwork. Never. Never. Use the "I'm getting a divorce!" threat as a manipulation to work things out the way you want. If you are serious talk with an attorney, if you are not, get marriage therapy. It's bizarre you're asking your husband rather than your attorney for divorce advice. Sounds like you are just escalating a Very bad marriage with empty threats Keep in mind while you make empty threats, your husband may be smart enough to actually contact an attorney and get his ducks in a row to blind side you. Talk To An Attorney. Not your husband. There's no set price like a sticker on a store product. It depends entirely on your jurisdiction, your specific financial situation and how long you plan to drag it out. Edited January 29, 2021 by Wiseman2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QTpie123 Posted January 29, 2021 Author Share Posted January 29, 2021 25 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Are you filing? Why announce? That's your attorney's job when he sends your husband the paperwork. Never. Never. Use the "I'm getting a divorce!" threat as a manipulation to work things out the way you want. If you are serious talk with an attorney, if you are not, get marriage therapy. It's bizarre you're asking your husband rather than your attorney for divorce advice. Sounds like you are just escalating a Very bad marriage with empty threats Keep in mind while you make empty threats, your husband may be smart enough to actually contact an attorney and get his ducks in a row to blind side you. Talk To An Attorney. Not your husband. There's no set price like a sticker on a store product. It depends entirely on your jurisdiction, your specific financial situation and how long you plan to drag it out. You must not have understood. I filed. AlL I have to do is tell the attorneys office to “ proceed”. Which I did last night. There were no empty threats. I wanted to give my H a little respect and let him know what is coming since he was acting like we were trying to R, even with numerous talks about divorce. I understand there isnt a “price sticker” on this. I’m not stupid. I was just curious and wondering what others had experienced which is the reason for this board. I DID NOT a “ask” my husband for divorce advice. He was listing reasons why we should not get lawyers and/or a divorce. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2021 Share Posted January 29, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, QTpie123 said: can anyone tel me on average what their divorce cost? The more you fight, the higher the cost. If you can work out the split yourself with or without mediation & just give the lawyers the split without involving them in the discussion so all they need to do is draft & file the paperwork then show up to get it approved by the judge you will reduce the costs substantially. A great divorce attorney I know who gets a $25,000 retainer, says that you should assume it's a 1/3 split: you get 1/3 of your assets, the EX gets 1/3 & the 2 attorneys split the other 1/3. I once served on this fee arbitration committee in my state for about 2 years. Aggrieved people could bring their lawyers to this forum if they thought the bills were too high. 90% of the cases were from matrimonial attorneys & the bills were usually above $75,000 Edited January 29, 2021 by d0nnivain 2 Link to post Share on other sites
josedelamuerte Posted January 29, 2021 Share Posted January 29, 2021 18 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: ... & the bills were usually above $75,000 Yikes! What an industry... Link to post Share on other sites
ThePhoenixStillRises Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 I know that an attorney that I consulted for divorce wanted a $2500 retainer. She also wanted $200 for the first consultation. I think the cost really depends on your situation. Start thinking about what things are really important for you to get to keep from what you had together and what things you are okay with parting with. I walked away without much at all...I was tired of being beaten down with his words. Do I regret not fighting for some stuff? Yes....but most of that was just things, and usually things that he wanted. I never got the money I was promised verbally and I should have known that would happen. But right now I have everything I need and I am happy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
emprosnet7 Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 I guess I should feel lucky. The divorce cost me 1000$ and the same for the ex. That was the lawyer fee , church and paperwork. We did not have common property and we agreed on the child support. She tried to get cash but had no grounds. Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 There's no way anyone can come even close to estimating the costs of your divorce without knowing the issues and the asset values. It could be anywhere from a few hundred bucks for an uncontested divorce when the couple rents an apartment and has no children and few if any assets. My divorce took 3 years, resulted in a trial, and cost $250,000 in combined legal costs. But we were contesting assets in the millions so I'm at the other end of the scale. Link to post Share on other sites
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