Kj62 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 Every 2 or 3 months my extremely sexually active and uninhibited bisexual wife goes home alone for a week or more to see her grandbabies (from previous marriage), family & friends. Yet she always spends at least one night with her single male bisexual cousin. She also gets high and/or drunk with him. (I don't do drugs). Am I crazy for suspecting they're having sex?
5x5 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 2 minutes ago, Kj62 said: Is she having an affair with cousin? I don't know if she is having an affair with her cousin. That said if you would like to know, why don't you ask her. 1
Author Kj62 Posted January 31, 2021 Author Posted January 31, 2021 I did tell her I thought it was inappropriate. It resulted in her going into a fit of rage for suggesting it, and she's unwilling to stop.
Marc878 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 Really? And you’re getting what out of this? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 I don't think you have enough evidence to suggest she's sleeping with him, no. I have male cousins I am very close to and spend time with when I'm in my home area. There is nothing remotely romantic about it, so I am curious why your mind went there. Have there been trust issues between you and her before? Has she cheated in the past? I don't see what either she or her cousin being bisexual has anything to do with this, though the way you word all of this suggests there are other issues with her sexuality that have caused tension before. Can you give us some more context?
5x5 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Kj62 said: I did tell her I thought it was inappropriate. It resulted in her going into a fit of rage for suggesting it, and she's unwilling to stop. Uh huh.
usa1ah Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) Her reaction could be from guilt. Why are you with an alcoholic druggy? How much time do the two of you actually spend together if she is going home so often? Does she really abstain from sex for 1 to 3 weeks while she is gone? Edited January 31, 2021 by usa1ah 1 1
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: There is nothing remotely romantic about it, so I am curious why your mind went there. I have a friend who's fiancé left her for his 1st degree cousin. My friend always shoveled down her doubts as she thought it's impossible they're cousin. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: I have a friend who's fiancé left her for his 1st degree cousin. My friend always shoveled down her doubts as she thought it's impossible they're cousin. Yes, I realize it happens, but I tend to think it's not commonplace. I am curious why OP's worried about this, and what the context of his suspicions are exactly. Partying for a night with him once every 2 or 3 months - while not particularly mature behaviour - doesn't automatically mean they're having an affair. I am wondering if there is more to the backstory. 1
lana-banana Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 Sexuality is completely irrelevant here. Moreover, there is (to put it mildly) a very wide gap between "two people who enjoy a hard-partying lifestyle" and "incest". I have no idea why you would even think of the latter. 1
Buffer Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) You need a lot more information to get a conclusion. Maybe she likes getting stoned and drunk . Look into it more, research her activities, phone logs, PI etc. One day at a time and I hope she isn’t. Buffer Edited January 31, 2021 by Buffer Spelling
ShyViolet Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 Maybe she's just hanging out with him as a drug/drinking buddy. I don't know where you are getting this sex idea from. That's kind of out of left field.
snowboy91 Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 9 hours ago, lana-banana said: Sexuality is completely irrelevant here. Moreover, there is (to put it mildly) a very wide gap between "two people who enjoy a hard-partying lifestyle" and "incest". I have no idea why you would even think of the latter. Put it better than I could. It wouldn't be any different from you getting drunk with your sister if you had one. Even very uninhibited and horny people have boundaries around incest.
usa1ah Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 (edited) On 2/1/2021 at 4:15 AM, lana-banana said: Sexuality is completely irrelevant here. Moreover, there is (to put it mildly) a very wide gap between "two people who enjoy a hard-partying lifestyle" and "incest". I have no idea why you would even think of the latter. I know cousins that have done this. It is more common when it is 2nd or further out. No matter how much it makes your stomach turn, it happens. [redacted] Edited February 2, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator misrepresentation of comments
sam59 Posted February 3, 2021 Posted February 3, 2021 Well you are asking this question for a reason. You know your wife better than anyone here. What is your gut telling you ? Trust it.
Lorryborry Posted February 3, 2021 Posted February 3, 2021 I dont see evidence of an affair. She just wants to chill out and shoot breeze and talk. Not a big deal
SRCSRC Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 (edited) Her belligerent reaction to your question speaks volumes. If my girlfriend asked me anything regarding another woman and a possible inappropriate relationship, I would answer any of her questions thoughtfully and reassuringly. I certainly wouldn't respond in a manner you describe unless something is up. Also, I do not buy the incest argument as a barrier for one second. You didn't say if it was a 2nd or 3rd cousin. That makes it an even lower barrier to clear. Put all of this in perspective with the history of your relationship, other red flags and problems in the marriage. That should give you the answer as to whether you should proceed with a further investigation. Getting high and drunk and spending the night in the same place with another man is a red flag, regardless of her protests. Don't let your wife dismiss you with anger and threats. That should not be tolerated. Do not be a doormat. Also, you describe your wife as "extremely sexually active and uninhibited bisexual". What is that all about? Gone one week every two or three months? Hmm. Edited February 18, 2021 by SRCSRC
SRCSRC Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 Several clarifications needed. When she gets high with the cousin are others present? Is it at the cousins place and does she spend the night there? I took that as being the case when I first read your story. Can you believe what she tells you? If she gets high at the cousin's place and it is just the two of them and she spends the night there, keep digging and be prepared for a bad outcome. Also, do you ever go with her on these trips? Why not? Does she discourage you from going with her? Start going and see how she responds.
ctdans Posted March 2, 2021 Posted March 2, 2021 agree with SRCSRC in some way but not 100%. If they are alone I would assume they have separate beds etc. But if he has his buds over then I would be concerned that at some point drunk and high she MAY not be alone for the evening. Not the cousin but the cousins best friends. How old are you two? Getting drunk and high is high school or college stuff and not how married adults are to behave. Sure, some have a joint or two and some may have a beer or two too many at some time. But for a wife who is extremely sexually active and gets high and drunk away from you as often as she you are in for a hard time going forward.
bananatree Posted March 12, 2021 Posted March 12, 2021 Haha, incest is waaaay more common than people realize, despite the "ick" factor. But still, not sure why OP has flags raised. When did your spouse meet this cousin? Have they always known each other since childhood. If so, likely they are not attracted to each other. If they just met recently, they would be possibly hyper attracted to each other (google GSA)
Recommended Posts