Snakesalive Posted February 1, 2021 Share Posted February 1, 2021 (edited) So the point of posting this is for others who might be in my situation and might be ignoring those flags.My affair has just ended very messily and while I know I’m glad it’s over I’m experiencing all the things talked about on here and ruminating about what could have been if I’d played things differently and been alive to seeing the red flags that were being waved So for example when he said he loved me and then when he separated (not because of me )said let’s see how things go before we get together what he really meant was “I’m not sure if I really am committed to you I’m keeping my options open “When he told people how much he loved me when the affair was uncovered what he really meant was” I’m not really sure how I feel but if the more people I tell the more ill convince myself. i guess we all think our relationship is different and special and will go on to work as a real couple despite the challenges of real life but I realise know the person i thought I was in a relationship with wasn’t real- the real person was the one at the end of the relationship who discarded me and focussed on damage limitation for them self and is actually very weak I’m just grateful I have chance to rebuild a better life and focus on the people in that life who truly love me and will stand by me through anything and everything no matter what the cost. Edited February 1, 2021 by Snakesalive Spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Lorryborry Posted February 1, 2021 Share Posted February 1, 2021 (edited) Hi Snakesalive. I'm sorry things have not worked out and that you are in pain. Am sending you a virtual hug. Yes....reading here....its all the same format. Hormones and chemicals make us think it's some gr8 love. It's not. [redacted] I believe you when you say you are glad to be out of it. It causes more hurt than joy when going on. God how was it discovered, what a nightmare. Hope you are not getting all the blame. And that u have support. Yes it's a chance to concentrate on real ppl. I hope you are at peace and that you heal quickly. [redacted] Glad you out of it Edited February 2, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Group berating Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snakesalive Posted February 2, 2021 Author Share Posted February 2, 2021 11 hours ago, Lorryborry said: Hi Snakesalive. I'm sorry things have not worked out and that you are in pain. Am sending you a virtual hug. Yes....reading here....its all the same format. Hormones and chemicals make us think it's some gr8 love. It's not. [redacted] I believe you when you say you are glad to be out of it. It causes more hurt than joy when going on. God how was it discovered, what a nightmare. Hope you are not getting all the blame. And that u have support. Yes it's a chance to concentrate on real ppl. I hope you are at peace and that you heal quickly. [redacted] Glad you out of it Thankyou for your kind words . Classic case of discovery through seeing text messages . I do think all affairs are discovered sooner or later -again we delude ourselves by thinking they won’t be and ours is different Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 I don't come to this section to judge anyone... but I see it all the time in this section. One person in the A think they are special, but regardless of what happens (Other person leaves, or goes back to their SO) that person is either strung along, or dumped. I'm sorry you are here... but do you really want a relationship with someone who is a known cheater? That is the first, and biggest flag. The other person is willing to hurt, and lie to someone else. That trend will eventually come around to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 Quote but do you really want a relationship with someone who is a known cheater? That is the first, and biggest flag. The other person is willing to hurt, and lie to someone else. That trend will eventually come around to you. Both people were married and it was an affair between some kind of family members. I believe through OP's husband and it was her BH who discovered the affair! Only victims here are the families left behind. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorryborry Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 There is hurt all around, no one is exempt from hurt here. She knows all about it I'm sure we dont need to tell her about her actions. I believe in this life not one of us is better or worse than anyone else or that we have any right to judge a woman for making a poor decision. I know iv made plenty. But I do believe in encouraging ppl when they are in a bad spot. Thankfully she has supportive family and friends 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted February 2, 2021 Share Posted February 2, 2021 OP, I'm glad you're out of the affair and moving forward. It's dangerous to fall into the victim mindset and not take responsibility for your own actions, it stops your own growth. Good luck going forward. Link to post Share on other sites
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