QuietRiot Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 Met this woman online, she told me she's been separated from her husband since 2012...yikes, and never divorced. He lives far away. She said the reason, because she never plans on marrying ever again. Explaining that she doesn't need a piece of paper to say she's in love or whatever. ...but yet, she doesn't need a piece of paper saying she's unattached or whatever? I'm like, "Well, of course, that means you'll forever remain separated" Apparently, she had her own kids when they married, but, when he got older.... he wanted kids of his own...thus the reason for the separation, the thing is, it sounds like they aren't divorcing because he wound up being a good replacement father to her already birthed kids, so they often go up and see him as he's seriously attached to them. You know how they say they stayed together for the kids...but...they aren't even HIS kids (biologically). In this situation, would you be on board for dating someone who is forever separated? Link to post Share on other sites
ElizaR Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 2 hours ago, QuietRiot said: Met this woman online, she told me she's been separated from her husband since 2012...yikes, and never divorced. He lives far away. She said the reason, because she never plans on marrying ever again. Explaining that she doesn't need a piece of paper to say she's in love or whatever. ...but yet, she doesn't need a piece of paper saying she's unattached or whatever? I'm like, "Well, of course, that means you'll forever remain separated" Apparently, she had her own kids when they married, but, when he got older.... he wanted kids of his own...thus the reason for the separation, the thing is, it sounds like they aren't divorcing because he wound up being a good replacement father to her already birthed kids, so they often go up and see him as he's seriously attached to them. You know how they say they stayed together for the kids...but...they aren't even HIS kids (biologically). In this situation, would you be on board for dating someone who is forever separated? I think it's kinda strange to not divorce. He can still see them and be a father figure in their life with them divorced. I mean I have a good friend who has moved on from her ex but 2yrs later she is still legally married saying money has been the issue moving forward. She needs to definitely have a plan to divorce him esp since it's been seen 2012. I would be thinking there is another reason for not doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 For certain people, separation is more financially prudent and simpler than a long-drawn (and sometimes costly) divorce. For more than 20 years, a relative remained separated, then again, neither her nor her ex remarried. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 She may have financial gains by not formally divorcing. who cares? She was at least honest. The only problem I see is if you intend to marry a woman you date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 Are you going to date her? Sounds like a cheater or someone too broke to divorce or too broke/unemployed to get health insurance. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 Yeah, I get it. I wouldn't get married because it's just a bit of paper to me, so likewise, I wouldn't care if someone was permanently separated because it's just the same type of paper. The thing which would make me wary is whether or not their ex was still legally considered next of kin for medical purposes. If I was a long term partner to someone, I'd want to be their next of kin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted February 3, 2021 Author Share Posted February 3, 2021 2 hours ago, basil67 said: Yeah, I get it. I wouldn't get married because it's just a bit of paper to me, so likewise, I wouldn't care if someone was permanently separated because it's just the same type of paper. The thing which would make me wary is whether or not their ex was still legally considered next of kin for medical purposes. If I was a long term partner to someone, I'd want to be their next of kin. Wouldn't "next of kin" be someone that you're related to, not be married to? Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted February 3, 2021 Author Share Posted February 3, 2021 6 hours ago, ElizaR said: I think it's kinda strange to not divorce. He can still see them and be a father figure in their life with them divorced. I mean I have a good friend who has moved on from her ex but 2yrs later she is still legally married saying money has been the issue moving forward. She needs to definitely have a plan to divorce him esp since it's been seen 2012. I would be thinking there is another reason for not doing it. Yes, VERY strange, esp. after that long of time. There's just something sketchy about that situation and if I would even attempt to date her, it would ALWAYS be at the back of my mind, bothering me. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 25 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: Wouldn't "next of kin" be someone that you're related to, not be married to? Next of kin is the person who can make medical decisions if you’re in a coma, or who to call in an emergency. So it can absolutely be a spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 28 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: . There's just something sketchy about that situation and if I would even attempt to date her, I would not even bother talking to someone like this. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 6 hours ago, basil67 said: The thing which would make me wary is whether or not their ex was still legally considered next of kin for medical purposes. This. Although, you could probably also get a living will. 8 hours ago, S2B said: She may have financial gains by not formally divorcing. What if she is also on the hook for his debts? What if he is entitled to half her home, her pension, etc... Although I don’t feel the need to have the paper and remarry, I would want to understand the legal implications of this decision... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted February 3, 2021 Share Posted February 3, 2021 I wouldn't date anyone that is not single. She's not. Next. Hard next. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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