Girl flirt with me while having I think she has a boyfriend.

[Maarten]

Hi all, this is my first topic here since I just made an account.
 

I would apologize at the start for my English, because I don’t speak it very well.

At my work I flirt al the time with my co workers, but limited. More by looking, winking and have a nice chat and short cute eye contact. Its more because they started flirting with me and I start flirting back and most of them have a boyfriend or a man. I don’t look anything behind this kind of flirting.

Since short we have a new intern at work, but this time it was different. I work in a factory and have day and night shift and doesn’t work often at the office.

For example: When I was passing by her office place and standing there because I need to put some documents in the holder near her office she was shouting “hi” and she had a naughty look of I like you. 
 

1 month later (I don’t see her much and was not actually looking, thought she was hot that’s it) I made a comment to her of: It’s late don’t you need to go home yet? It was at 15:50 and we start having a conversation. At the start I was standing at the door opening and later I took a chair and start sitting next to her. 
 

When we had this intens conversation she was biting her lower lip continuously and we had intens eye contact. We looked in each other eyes all the time and we were talking about personal stuff, no work related objects only if she likes working here and the other way around.
 

At a point in the conversation she asked me what’s your name again and how old are you? I also told her where I live and that my rent is pretty high. Later she asked “what is kinda strange ” if I still live with my parents. I answered that I don’t live with my parents and I live on my own (so single). When the conversation ended 40 min later she stand up with a hollow back and a bit showing her body in My opinion, because she knew I still was looking. At the conversation she didnt looked away, on her phone, computer and asked personal question too.

I told a co worker, friend of mine if it is okay at he company policy to ask her out. He told me I think she have a boyfriend and I still thought she didn't.
Monday I saw her for the first time after the conversation only at the end of the day and we made eye contact again and she was smiling and say “hi first” and was looking like oh it’s you, I am glad to see you! She doesn’t act this way around other people at work. 

I wanted to ask her out Wednesday, but unfortunately she was not at the office. I made a comment at the guy (married and in the 50’s, I am 30 btw and she is 25) “I said were is the beautiful intern today and he replied: “beautiful, she has a boyfriend, but everything can be broken”. 
 

I thought it was very wierd that if she has a boyfriend, because when we spoke she didn’t say anything or gave red flags that she was taken. When we both told our ages I said something like oh we only have an age different of 5 years, anything is possible! 
 

What do you guys think I should do? Do I still need to ask her out? We definitely had a chemistry and I was blushing the whole time. 

I still don’t know if she actually has a boyfriend. 

 

 

[josedelamuerte]

Sure - ask her out. The worst thing that could happen is that she'll say - "aw, geez, I'd love to, but I have a boyfriend". Hardly a big deal.

[d0nnivain]

I think the next time you talk to her you should ask her if she has a BF.  If she says yes, drop it.  If she says no ask her out.  

[Maarten]

Thanks guys! I will ask her.

 

[Maarten]

And thank ma’am 😉

[Wiseman2]

18 hours ago, Maarten said:

 we have a new intern at work, 

It's best not to get a reputation as the office wolf by "flirting with everyone".

The workplace is not a singles club. People go to work for a paycheck.

Don't prey on this intern. She is there to learn things, not to amuse you.

Get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women.

[Maarten]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's best not to get a reputation as the office wolf by "flirting with everyone".

The workplace is not a singles club. People go to work for a paycheck.

Don't prey on this intern. She is there to learn things, not to amuse you.

Get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women.

True but everybody is doing it... girl are calling “hi babe and are starting give me a 😉. One time a girl said. “ ah you are so nice I want to see your more often” Or when I am walking around with a document paper I get sometimes comments “oh do you want my number”. So you are right 50/50. I say 50/50 because I think it depends on the company culture and what’s normal at your work. 

tbh at my work is a very positive vibe and I love it. I am not even looking to date anyone at work, but things just happen. And like you know a lot of people meet a partner at work so it’s one of the normal things in the world. 
 

ps: I hate dating apps, it s so much easier in person. 

Edited February 5, 2021 by Maarten

[Maarten]

And I forgot to say she started flirting when we just were talking.. I started the chat and then she starts biting her lower lip when watching deep in my eyes. So I see that as a sign and yeah ofcourse if she is hot and have a nice personality I will flirt back. I didn’t expect we would have this chemistry haha. And I see how she looks at other people. It’s a huge difference comparing how she looks at me. 

[Fletch Lives]

First of all, never ask a woman if she's single - it's weak. Ask for her number instead. She has a brain, she'll let you know if she's not single.

We go on dates to get around somebody to see if they will fall for us.

At work, there is no need to ask out and face rejection - they are around you all the time - you are already there!

If she's single and develops a crush on you, she'll probably ask you out. There is no need to create drama, or risk rejection in this situation. You can sit back like the hot chick and do nothing. 

In the mean time, ask other women out until this situation sorts itself out.

By the way, I'm like a hot chick in a man's body! I'm looking for a gay man in a woman's body! 😄

[Maarten]

2 hours ago, Fletch Lives said:

First of all, never ask a woman if she's single - it's weak. Ask for her number instead. She has a brain, she'll let you know if she's not single.

We go on dates to get around somebody to see if they will fall for us.

At work, there is no need to ask out and face rejection - they are around you all the time - you are already there!

If she's single and develops a crush on you, she'll probably ask you out. There is no need to create drama, or risk rejection in this situation. You can sit back like the hot chick and do nothing. 

In the mean time, ask other women out until this situation sorts itself out.

By the way, I'm like a hot chick in a man's body! I'm looking for a gay man in a woman's body! 😄

Yes I think it ‘s a great to just ask her number in a conversation. Is it an good idea just to ask her if she want to grab lunch together at the office.

She definitie must feel that I like her otherwise she is dumb, right. 

haha you are funny, I bet you will find your guy in womans body someday! Not me I am 100% straight. I respect your values and in real life we probably could be good friends. 

[d0nnivain]

It's not weak to ask a woman if she has a BF.  As a woman I always appreciated a gentleman who took that step to assure he wasn't poaching. 

Another tactic is to ask indirectly.  "How does your BF feel about you doing this internship?" 

[Maarten]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

It's not weak to ask a woman if she has a BF.  As a woman I always appreciated a gentleman who took that step to assure he wasn't poaching. 

Another tactic is to ask indirectly.  "How does your BF feel about you doing this internship?" 

Yes, but I think it ‘s better to be myself and see what will happend if I ask her number or ask her out. Most girls won’t tell that they have a boyfriend if they are in present of a guy that they like. 
 

And yes that ‘s a tactic, but I think it will be an akward conversation. Best thing is just ask her in person.

I will probably say something like “what your up to these days with the night clock?” I know she will answer something like, not much I am borred and then I ask her. 😌 

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, Maarten said:

 Most girls won’t tell that they have a boyfriend if they are in present of a guy that they like. 

Are you saying most girls are cheaters who disrespectfully lead a guy on when they have a BF?  I don't think that is true at all.  While they might enjoy flirting & not come out & announce the existence of the BF, they aren't going to lie about it when asked. 

[Wiseman2]

16 hours ago, Maarten said:

She definitie must feel that I like her otherwise she is dumb, right. 

She may realize that you are the office flirt, but not be interested

She's an intern. She had to be there. You're just some guy looking for sex.

Hopefully she won't file a sexual harassment case against you, although she should if you hit on her.

Why can't you meet women outside of work? 

[Maarten]

11 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

Are you saying most girls are cheaters who disrespectfully lead a guy on when they have a BF?  I don't think that is true at all.  While they might enjoy flirting & not come out & announce the existence of the BF, they aren't going to lie about it when asked. 

Noo I didn’t ment that they are cheaters and I agree, but she didn’t announce that she got a BF. She told me about her family, living situation and thinking about moving back to her parents. I really let her know that I was interested, but still in the safe zone so it couldn’t be sexual harassment. 
 

I know she won’t lie about it so I think it’s better to just ask her out and see what she says. 
 

And now change it from another perceptive. Why would she ask my age? Because I look like the same age as her?

I bet she didn’t ask that question if I was in the 50’s.

 

Edited February 6, 2021 by Maarten

[Maarten]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

She may realize that you are the office flirt, but not be interested

She's an intern. She had to be there. You're just some guy looking for sex.

Hopefully she won't file a sexual harassment case against you, although she should if you hit on her.

Why can't you meet women outside of work? 

Well I don’t think you can file a sexual harassment case agains me if I just ask her out. I think it ‘s possible if I made sexual flirty comments against her which I didn’t. 
 

I meet woman outside work, but this just happend. 

Edited February 6, 2021 by Maarten

[d0nnivain]

She may have asked your age because she is not good at guessing people's ages

The dynamics of a sexual harassment claim are complex.  Some work places have a zero tolerance policy.  If you ask & she says no, you better make sure nothing about your work interactions change.  There can't be any awkwardness.  If you can't do that, don't ask until her internship is ending.  

[Maarten]

45 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

She may have asked your age because she is not good at guessing people's ages

The dynamics of a sexual harassment claim are complex.  Some work places have a zero tolerance policy.  If you ask & she says no, you better make sure nothing about your work interactions change.  There can't be any awkwardness.  If you can't do that, don't ask until her internship is ending.  

Yes it is complex, but at my work they allow it, because more people met at work. I asked my superior if it is okay. I told him it was her and he said it is. 

I am lucky that our jobs doesn’t interfere which each other and we did have a chat because I started a one. I already felt attraction to each other even thought we didn’t spoke before. 

Even if she says “no” I will still be myself. Maybe less flirty by her. At least I did ask.

first time I see her will be at 15, 16 and 17 of feb. I will ask her then. 
 

 

[smackie9]

Communication is always the best way....ask her out, and see where it takes you.

[Maarten]

22 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Communication is always the best way....ask her out, and see where it takes you.

Yes I will do that!

[central]

She could have a bf, but they may not be exclusive.  If she agrees to go out with you, it's on her to do the right thing.  If you find out she's serious with someone, then you should not ask her out, or stop seeing her as the case may be.

[Maarten]

2 hours ago, central said:

She could have a bf, but they may not be exclusive.  If she agrees to go out with you, it's on her to do the right thing.  If you find out she's serious with someone, then you should not ask her out, or stop seeing her as the case may be.

Yes true, but if she is serious with someone then why did she bite her lower lip and watch deeply in my eyes and show a lot of interest. I would never flirt like that if I am seeing someone. I would not even flirt if I am taken 🤣. If she want to go out with me and seeing someone its okay but she needs to end it first. 😜 ah, well I will ask her when I see her. 

[central]

A lot of people aren't like you.  They're always looking for the next best thing.  True integrity is actually rare.

[kendahke]

On 2/4/2021 at 12:27 PM, Maarten said:

At my work I flirt al the time with my co workers

More by looking, winking and have a nice chat and short cute eye contact

I start flirting back and most of them have a boyfriend or a man. I don’t look anything behind this kind of flirting.

Since short we have a new intern at work,

In the office/workplace, this is really bad form.

Self discipline--it's a thing.

Don't poop where you eat.

Edited February 14, 2021 by kendahke

[smackie9]

On 2/7/2021 at 6:46 PM, Maarten said:

Yes true, but if she is serious with someone then why did she bite her lower lip and watch deeply in my eyes and show a lot of interest. I would never flirt like that if I am seeing someone. I would not even flirt if I am taken 🤣. If she want to go out with me and seeing someone its okay but she needs to end it first. 😜 ah, well I will ask her when I see her. 

So OP what has happened so far?