QuietRiot Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 I don't know how often this does happen, but I've seen a good amount of situations where someone had been searching for "the one" for years, only to wind up dating and marrying someone they once dated casually or briefly. OR...they were friends years ago. Perhaps someone they buds with in college, then later...things took a 180. I had a friend of mine that wound up really expediting his marriage. A couple of years ago, this woman from his past reconnected with him, after a month, they got engaged, in a couple of weeks, they married. lol Somehow I wish this would happen me, this can almost be the case of some lucky orbiter a man a woman friend zoned and then changed mind about him a decade later. Any thoughts onthis? Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 Yes, these things can't be planned out. If it happens, it happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 Yes perhaps sometimes people let opportunities pass them by, circumstances or lack of confidence or whatever lets something slip away on them, perhaps people end up marrying different people and always have a tinge of regret about what might have been with an earlier love, I thought those Before sunset movies were a nice story on this type of scenario, I sometimes have mentioned here "the girl from 2013" Looking back I should have played my cards at the time much better, I think I am ready to commit to current girlfriend now, but at the back of my mind I always liked the vulnerability of that earlier girl , current one is more of an achiever and so on, at back of my mind am I really more suited to the earlier girl, and now am almost 41 and was 33 when met that previous girlfriend, you know what might have been and so on, hmmn I imagine have to live in present though and make the best of current time. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 ln my experience it's nothing to do with friendzone if it was that then one just decided to make do and went back. lt's been about the real love of their life but circumstances at the time. Happened to my brother. After 8yrs apart things were different and finally possible they got back together been married 20yrs. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
josedelamuerte Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 7 hours ago, QuietRiot said: Somehow I wish this would happen me, this can almost be the case of some lucky orbiter a man a woman friend zoned and then changed mind about him a decade later. Any thoughts onthis? I think anyone who's loved and lost is harboring a similar fantasy. I know I am. It's certainly more likely than winning the lottery. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 (edited) Rekindling with a significant ex and getting married, starting a family and happy ending.....yes I've known of this happening. But elevating from a brief period of dating or friend zone? Sorry, I don't know anyone where this has happened. Edited February 5, 2021 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted February 5, 2021 Author Share Posted February 5, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: Rekindling with a significant ex and getting married, starting a family and happy ending.....yes I've known of this happening. But elevating from a brief period of dating or friend zone? Sorry, I don't know anyone where this has happened. You haven't known "friends" to reconnect and decide to date, even marry, years later? Ah, but you see, my come back to that, was always this...You now you see these wedding toasts and announcements, "I married by best friend!" When I see this, I think, "Ah, they were friend zoned at some point in their life, then....changed their mind about each other". Edited February 5, 2021 by QuietRiot Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 (edited) INo, I have not known one person to reconnect and find love with a former friend later on. The statement about marrying a best friend does not necessarily mean that someone came out of the friendzone. For instance, I say that my partner is my best friend, but I also joke about us being the world's longest one night stand. We had chemistry from the day we met. Edited February 5, 2021 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 I agree with Basil, I don't think these stories are usually about people who were in the friendzone and were suddenly seen as viable prospects. It seems to me to be more about lost loves and the one that got away... There was always some attraction present and meeting again years later rekindled that attraction. Orbiters are orbiters, they are usually orbiters for a very good reason. If they do get "promoted" then it is most likely due to desperation on the part of their crush. Oh dear, no man on the horizon... There is always "Bob the besotted"??? Yes good old Bob, wonder what he is up to? I'll send him a message... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted February 5, 2021 Author Share Posted February 5, 2021 44 minutes ago, basil67 said: INo, I have not known one person to reconnect and find love with a former friend later on. The statement about marrying a best friend does not necessarily mean that someone came out of the friendzone. For instance, I say that my partner is my best friend, but I also joke about us being the world's longest one night stand. We had chemistry from the day we met. I have chemistry with a few women, but doesn't mean we'd wind up together forever either. Usually it was due in part of lack of compatibly [quote]INo, I have not known one person to reconnect and find love with a former friend later on.[/quote] Interesting, I've known quite a few in my lifetime....guess you just never been witnessed to at least one. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 (edited) I kind of had this happen to me in my younger life. When I was in Highschool, there was a girl who I was attracted to, but we were in two different "Social" groups. I was with the rocker/punk kids and she was more with the "Preppy" kids. So, we would wind up at some of the same parties, and we had a few of the same classes... so we knew each other, and often talked. But, we couldn't get together becasue neither of us could break the social lines. But 2 or so years after HS was over... we met again at a party, and really hit it off. We dated for a short while because we no longer had a label of our HS groups. So, I agree with @elaine567 It's more about a missed connection. Edited February 5, 2021 by Blind-Sided Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 I know of one couple personally... Childhood friends, lost touch for about 20 years, reconnected via social media and got married. They're in a process of a divorce after 10+ years of marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 (edited) 14 hours ago, Foxhall said: I sometimes have mentioned here "the girl from 2013" Looking back I should have played my cards at the time much better, I think I am ready to commit to current girlfriend now, but at the back of my mind I always liked the vulnerability of that earlier girl , current one is more of an achiever and so on, at back of my mind am I really more suited to the earlier girl, and now am almost 41 and was 33 when met that previous girlfriend, you know what might have been and so on, hmmn I imagine have to live in present though and make the best of current time. Maybe there's a vibe in the air or the sun and stars are aligned just right but this is like the third or fourth thread I've read in two weeks about an old unfinished love rekindling or still yearning for. One was from 15 years ago, another 10 years ago (on line) and I recall another. Now this. Foxhall, have you posted about your girl from 2013? I'd love to read it. Does your current know you still harbor feelings for her? I don't think you shouid settle, life's too short for that and you are still quite young at 40, almost 41. Can you somehow find the girl from 2013? FB or other socials? Anyway, I believe it happens, well obviously it happens evidenced by all the stories, just posted here. Timing wasn't right, high emotions or just plain fear got in the way, or any other number of things I suppose. The feelings never truly leave though, do they. You might suppress for a time, meet someone else, but then you get a sort of sign, it may come to you in the most peculiar way when you least expect, throwing you for a curve and then it all comes back. This happened to my dad. He fell in love with a girl in college but lacked confidence and was too fearful of expressing feelings and going after her so she married someone else. 15 years later, her husband died and now armed with the confidence he lacked in college and fearlessness, he contacted her and they got married a year later - she was the absolute love of his life. Turns out she had always loved him too. They're both gone now, but I'm happy they found each other after all those years, and got to experience what a true genuine love feels like. Gives me chills thinking about. Edited February 5, 2021 by poppyfields 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StrongHands Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 ^^^This is a great love story. Love is such a powerful thing and something to never be taken lightly. It can transcend time and space plus burn within our hearts for years. Loving is the ultimate blessing and simply not meant to fade away so when you find it fight for it. OP, I think that the social media platforms makes the reuniting of lost loves more and more common. Like Ms Poppy so elegantly said, some "feelings never truly leave." Remember the beauty lies within the eyes of the beholder. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
princessaurora Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 I've had two friends who ended up with their high school boyfriends again when they were both pushing forty. One had married and divorced an abusive man and a few years after she ran into her high school sweetheart. They were married a year later and have a daughter together. My other friend was never married but she dated a guy in high school she really liked, but college and career separated them. When she was 38, he moved back to his hometown, they reconnected and are now married with a son. So this situation happens pretty often. Like poppy said, the feelings never leave, plus there's a sense of comfortability with the person because you've known them before and sometimes have been intimate with them. So the relationships in these cases tend to flow pretty easily for the most part since you already have a sense of what the person is like. I think that's why marriages happen pretty quickly in these circumstances, but also seen to last. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 Nice post Poppyfields, I am glad it worked out for your Dad, though I also feel a tinge of sadness when you say they are both gone. Yes my own situation- well the girl from 2013 I met her randomly on a train-we appeared to have a strong connection dated briefly on and off for a year or so. She then left returned to her home country saying we were better to go our separate ways, she did not know what she wanted and needed to go back to her family. We remained in contact though from long distance and still have occasional skype calls and texting etc. I think our connection has grown funnily enough through these calls and at times we both say maybe in hindsight it would have worked out. She is still single and I think might possibly be interested now. I met the current girl though two years ago and I am quite happy with her. She does know about the earlier girl because curiously they are the same nationality and she was curious when seen the other girl on my facebook and things. I suppose I am conscious I am playing a dangerous game in a way, maintaining a type of friendship with this earlier girl. I think myself and this earlier girl are kindred spirits and have a good connection in that way. However I also feel lucky to have met the current girl, we are perhaps not the same kindred spirits, but she is very genuine and we get along very well too I like to think. Our bond is quite good. I struggled for a long time to meet women at all, so I think I should do my best to make things work with the current girl and hope we can make a life together. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 About 15 years after I graduated from HS I attended a homecoming football game where I was re-introduced to a guy who had been two grades ahead of me. I knew of him -- he was in all the school plays & it was a small school -- but had never really interacted with him. We dated for about 2 years. While I was rebounding from the end of that, I started a FWB "relationship" with a guy I had tended bar with while I was in college. Back then, he was the BMOC while I was more like his innocent kid sister; as adults the power dynamic shifted. He was wholly inappropriate as a long term partner but while they lasted the benefits were fun. Especially in this age of OLD etc. to have somebody who knows you & has a shared background is a welcome respite from having to build a relationship from scratch. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts