QuietRiot Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 I saw something particularly odd on a female friend's FB page. She re-shared a photo of a man she snuggled up with, taking a nap with him. Her arms wrapped around his, napping together. And it was like "best friends for ever" Someone commented, thinking they were a couple or someone "in love" and she responds, "No, he's my best friend". I dunno if I could really "cuddle up" with a female friend without taking it the wrong way, but..just saying. Can "best friends" do this? Link to post Share on other sites
josedelamuerte Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 They could be friends with benefits, but she doesn't want to advertise it. Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 Kids do this in college all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 6, 2021 Share Posted February 6, 2021 On 2/5/2021 at 6:45 AM, josedelamuerte said: They could be friends with benefits, but she doesn't want to advertise it. Either that or they are both in denial of what's going on. Male/female 'friendships' are often based on projection. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 6, 2021 Share Posted February 6, 2021 On 2/5/2021 at 11:28 PM, QuietRiot said: Can "best friends" do this? Apparently they do. That you can't imagine it doesn't make it weird or wrong for others. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted February 7, 2021 Share Posted February 7, 2021 (edited) On 2/5/2021 at 4:28 AM, QuietRiot said: I saw something particularly odd on a female friend's FB page. She re-shared a photo of a man she snuggled up with, taking a nap with him. Her arms wrapped around his, napping together. And it was like "best friends for ever" Someone commented, thinking they were a couple or someone "in love" and she responds, "No, he's my best friend". I dunno if I could really "cuddle up" with a female friend without taking it the wrong way, but..just saying. Can "best friends" do this? Maybe he's gay? Maybe he wants a relationship but she's not for it (this is what I think it is). I think the least probable scenario is that this guy is heterosexual and truly her friend with no romantic feelings for her. Friends don't snuggle up. But some guys at that age think (mistakenly) that being her friend is the best way to grow her romantic feelings. Edited February 7, 2021 by dramafreezone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 7, 2021 Share Posted February 7, 2021 On 2/6/2021 at 4:31 PM, basil67 said: Apparently they do. That you can't imagine it doesn't make it weird or wrong for others. It can happen, but it usually doesnt. Trying to be friends with a straight man is a great way to end up in bad situation- sexual harassment, stalking, or having a 'friendship' come to a bad end when someone confesses their true feelings. Theres a thread right now about a woman who moved in with a straight man then was sexually harassed. 5 hours ago, dramafreezone said: Maybe he's gay? Maybe he wants a relationship but she's not for it (this is what I think it is). I think the least probable scenario is that this guy is heterosexual and truly her friend with no romantic feelings for her. Friends don't snuggle up. But some guys at that age think (mistakenly) that being her friend is the best way to grow her romantic feelings. Yes. She thinks they're just friends. He thinks it will lead to more. It's very unlikely this guy is happy being a cuddle buddy unless hes gay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted February 8, 2021 Share Posted February 8, 2021 6 minutes ago, hotpotato said: It can happen, but it usually doesnt. Trying to be friends with a straight man is a great way to end up in bad situation- sexual harassment, stalking, or having a 'friendship' come to a bad end when someone confesses their true feelings. Theres a thread right now about a woman who moved in with a straight man then was sexually harassed. Yes. She thinks they're just friends. He thinks it will lead to more. It's very unlikely this guy is happy being a cuddle buddy unless hes gay. There's just some things that women have difficulty understanding about men, and vice versa. Women can have attractive male friends and not see them as sexual partners or relationship material. This concept is largely foreign to men, although it does happen. Men can have sex and not feel an emotional attachment. This concept is largely foreign to women, although it does happen. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 8, 2021 Share Posted February 8, 2021 1 hour ago, hotpotato said: It can happen, but it usually doesnt. Trying to be friends with a straight man is a great way to end up in bad situation- sexual harassment, stalking, or having a 'friendship' come to a bad end when someone confesses their true feelings. Theres a thread right now about a woman who moved in with a straight man then was sexually harassed. While I agree that friendships can implode if someone catches feelings, let's not paint the majority of straight men who have a friendship with a woman as being a potential stalker or harasser. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted February 8, 2021 Share Posted February 8, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, basil67 said: While I agree that friendships can implode if someone catches feelings, let's not paint the majority of straight men who have a friendship with a woman as being a potential stalker or harasser. Well that's taking the idea to the extreme. The number of men that turn into stalkers are a small minority. And I think women are usually intuitive enough to not even become friends with potential stalkers. That's what the "creepy" vibe is. I think most men who have attractive female friends would be open to a sexual relationship, that's all. Doesn't mean that they would ever even broach the subject. But guys never say things like "sex would ruin our friendship." That's like saying sprinkles would ruin ice cream to us.😄 Edited February 8, 2021 by dramafreezone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 8, 2021 Share Posted February 8, 2021 5 hours ago, basil67 said: While I agree that friendships can implode if someone catches feelings, let's not paint the majority of straight men who have a friendship with a woman as being a potential stalker or harasser. Frankly, it has happened to me multiple times. I wouldn't recommend a woman of childbearing age have male friends unless she is intending to have sex with them. I don't know the percentage of men who are harassers, but Sexual harassment is very underreported. Heck, if you want to see their true colors, tell your male 'friend' how you are dating or having sex someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted February 8, 2021 Author Share Posted February 8, 2021 3 hours ago, hotpotato said: Frankly, it has happened to me multiple times. I wouldn't recommend a woman of childbearing age have male friends unless she is intending to have sex with them. I don't know the percentage of men who are harassers, but Sexual harassment is very underreported. Heck, if you want to see their true colors, tell your male 'friend' how you are dating or having sex someone else. Hm, interesting...while some have not experienced such things, Hot potato has on numerous occasions. I recall, LONG time ago mind you, a woman that had a best friend...but he crossed boundaries with her that veered into harassment of sorts. She eventually put a restraining order on him as he kept popping up at her place more frequently. Not calling before he comes, etc. It actually went to court, in his defense, he had a stack of correspondence from her for b-days, holiday, V-day, etc. This came to the determination that there were mixed messages in play...and a guy could take this the wrong way. The judge dismissed the charges and said to her, "You stop leading him on" and to him "You quit bugging her" and that was that. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 8, 2021 Share Posted February 8, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, QuietRiot said: Hm, interesting...while some have not experienced such things, Hot potato has on numerous occasions. I recall, LONG time ago mind you, a woman that had a best friend...but he crossed boundaries with her that veered into harassment of sorts. She eventually put a restraining order on him as he kept popping up at her place more frequently. Not calling before he comes, etc. It actually went to court, in his defense, he had a stack of correspondence from her for b-days, holiday, V-day, etc. This came to the determination that there were mixed messages in play...and a guy could take this the wrong way. The judge dismissed the charges and said to her, "You stop leading him on" and to him "You quit bugging her" and that was that. Pretty much any way a woman is social with a man can be seen as leading them on. With these guys I had very minimal contact with. Most of the situations would happen at parks where i like to exercise. I would talk to them bc I was being nice and also bc I found them utterly unattractive. Men like to have female friends they find sexually attractive. A friendzone for a man often includes sex, while my friendzone most of the time will not. One of them I thought was gay. That one thought I was seducing him by wearing workout shorts to a park while exercising outside when the heat index is over 100°. I was probably wearing shorts the day we met. I have made the mistake of thinking a man was guy, or he would otherwise understand I wasnt into him. Their fefes would eventually take over. When I was younger I could see myself trying to cuddle with a guy platonically. Nowadays, I'd never do that. Part of the problem is believing men and women have the same sex drives. In a court anything can be seen as leading a man on. In fact, if you tell a man to leave you alone that is considered furthering conctact. Edited February 8, 2021 by hotpotato Link to post Share on other sites
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