Should I say something.

[Jessierbme]

After ending a 7 year relationship due to my ex cheating on me, I decided to take some time for myself and have fun. For the last 14 months I've had a friend with benefits. We openly talk about sleeping with other people and are fine with it. Recently, a mutual friend told me he has a girlfriend. He hasn't said anything to me about being in a relationship. I have fun with him and enjoy his company but can't shake this feeling that I'm the other woman. After what I've been through I don't want to hurt another woman (even if I don't know her). Part of me thinks our mutual friend misunderstood their relationship, maybe she is just one of his other friends with benefits. I am struggling with the decision on whether or not I should say something. I feel like if he was in a relationship he would say so and we would end our relations. That's what I would do and I think I know him well enough that he'd do the same. The other part of me says not to wait for him to speak up and bring it out in the open. I just worry that if I do and they aren't in a relationship he would end things with me, which I don't want. I'm happy with our mutual agreement of where we stand.

 I would appreciate any insight and advice! P.s. I hate confrontation which is why I'm struggling with this.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Jessierbme said:

. We openly talk about sleeping with other people and are fine with it. Recently, a mutual friend told me he has a girlfriend. 

Unfortunately FWB is not exclusive dating and you both agreed to sleep with each other and others.

Get tested for STDs and Covid. 

Perhaps you are not cut out for open relationships and were sort of kidding yourself.

End it. Get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting Single men.

Try having the exclusive talk when things get physical rather than having regrets.

 

Edited February 7, 2021 by Wiseman2

[BaileyB]

I would ask. Only because, I don’t want to sleep with a man who has another relationship. That’s not not a place I want to be. 

And call me cynical, I would not expect him to tell you the truth on his own. Sure, some men may be honest but as we see all too often on these boards, some men won’t turn down NSA sex. Especially early in the relationship, it’s entirely possible that he would sleep with you and not tell you. If you want to know, you need to ask.

Edited February 7, 2021 by BaileyB

[StrongHands]

1 hour ago, BaileyB said:

I would ask. Only because, I don’t want to sleep with a man who has another relationship. That’s not not a place I want to be. 

And call me cynical, I would not expect him to tell you the truth on his own. Sure, some men may be honest but as we see all too often on these boards, some men won’t turn down NSA sex. Especially early in the relationship, it’s entirely possible that he would sleep with you and not tell you. If you want to know, you need to ask.

^^^I agree with Bailey in that you will probably not get an honest.  Surely, he is not the only available guy in your area that appeals to you.