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GF is flirty when drunk


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So, she's insulted you, and she's insulted your best friends wife, (big time), and she doesn't know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. Did she apologise to your friends wife? I'm guessing that'll be a no. If you continue a relationship with this  loser,  you will end up a broken man. She's a liar, (the baby story sounds like garbage invented to cover up her stupidity - does she even actually know who the father is?), an attention seeker, and is desperately insecure. So insecure and full of doodoo that the words "borderline" and "personality disorder" were jumping out at me as I read your post.  

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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This is a mess. She has no boundaries, no respect for anyone not coworkers, gfs, wives or you. And you don't want to leave her? Why exactly? 

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It sounds like she has a drinking problem. Some people don't handle alcohol well. Stop going out to drink with her, find other things to do together.

Edited by Fletch Lives
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On 2/8/2021 at 2:14 AM, Curiouslife said:

has recently (in my mind) stepped over acceptable boundaries but when I confront her she says there nothing to it, she’s just social and doesn’t mean anything by it and swears she’s never cheated.

This rug sweeping your boundaries should be the deal breaker!!! If she can do that, you let her get away with it, she can do anything in your R and all will be good. She is playing you for a Simp or chump.... Don't let her!!! Sit her down and tell her you are down grading her because of her actions to a FWB.... See if that hits home??? You have the control over commitment in your R, if you show you are willing to take that away she may see what she really values, (this may show you she doesn't really value you also), better to know that now....  

Female nature says she will be looking around for the best mate possible, this doesn't mean she can do it in front of you and with your friends that are married!!!

Other red flags, poor boundaries, disrespect for you and your friends, and single mum.... She must be fun in the sack for you to put up with her so see if you can keep her as a FWB. (pun intended) Not GF or wife material. Do not co-habitat. No promises or suggestions of trust or future plans other than the next hook-up. She wants to display bad behaviors, poor boundaries, treat her like she is showing you who she is.

 

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On 2/7/2021 at 1:14 PM, Curiouslife said:

 

when I confronted her about it that night, she said I was just being jealous and there was nothing in it, she said she felt safe to be more open given he was my best mate so didn’t think it would be an issue. 
 

This is where you really have to listen to what someone is telling you. You gf is admitting to you that she will flirt when she feels she can let her guard down. She'll even go so far as to flirt with a married man. This doesn't even seem like a drinking problem. You have a gf that likes to. You're not going to change that part of her. The only thing you need to know now is whether or not you want to continue dealing with it.

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I don’t want to leave her, I suggested relationship counselling. She said she’s open to it to work on our mutual and seperate issues. 

Seriously dude why would you go to any type of a relationship counselling with a GF you have been with for a little over a year. To me that smacks of reaching for straws to make the relationship work. Most likely will deal with your insecurities, your jealously, your controlling attitude,  your lack of trust. Some people take longer than others to know what they want & by your post you seem to know what you want now you're GF not so much. For me easiest way is to just rip off the bandage in a situation like yours cause its not going to get any better unless your GF does a complete reversal & is totally into you like you are to her. I just don't see it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I admit I'm charming and it can come off at flirty. I have a lot of male friends and male attention. But I wouldn't have done anything like what your GF has done out of respect unless there was an agreement ahead of time this sort of thing was OK. Like with your friend. If I know they were in the lifestyle or something and you had brought up doing something with them later I can see the reason for that behavior on the dance floor. Short of that that is totally inappropriate IMO. In fact if I were your friend's wife I would be upset at both you guys for allowing that disrespect to happen. I text guys all the time but would never let it turn sexual like that and if it did somehow take a left turn I would shut it down and then share that with my BF as I have nothing to hide. I have done that sort of stuff your girlfriend does with women but it was with the OK of my boyfriend ahead of time and checking in with him as he was my priority. It doesn't sound like respecting you is her priority.

 

I think these are red flags. You both just have different values. It sounds like she would be better off dating someone who wants something more open like a swinger. If you don't want to go there then I would suggest moving on.

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