Silence vs telling an ex off to leave you alone?

[Mizz Layta]

my ex and I were on nd off again for while. He was the one always leaving only to return saying he misses me and wants me back. Once he has me he just couldn't  be bothered  and isn't interested to put effort to make it work. i finally got sick of it so when he attempted a year ago, i told him i didn't want to hear from him and  not to contact me. I blocked him on face book and changed my number. Recently he made a fake profile to circumvent that and reach out to me. he said he can't stop thinking about me and i never left his heart. This is pissing me off because I clearly told to not contact me. i felt like cussing him out and telling him to F-Off but i decided to just block. Which one is more effective? Silence or Telling them off?

[trident_2020]

Silence is infinitely better.

Anything less means he got a reaction out of you and he got you to pay some attention him.

Eventually he'll just give up.

[d0nnivain]

In this case silence is more effective.  Otherwise you are giving him what he wants:  attention.  

By not responding, he is "dead" to you.  Letting him have it shows the passion is still there, which is why you are so upset. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Mizz Layta said:

my ex and I were on nd off again for while. i decided to just block. 

Excellent. Yes, just reset all your social media privacy setting so Only people you know can see your content or message you. Also don't answer unknown texts/calls. Delete and block him and ALL his people (so he doesn't use that route) from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

[josedelamuerte]

Silence FTW!

You've already tried telling him off. That clearly didn't work.

[Alpacalia]

I had to do this too with my ex fiance. Silence on my end definitely worked. I wouldn't bother telling him off, just lay low and don't accept any unknown contact requests.

[ExpatInItaly]

Silence is better. 

Anything else will keep you embroiled. 

[StrongHands]

On 2/7/2021 at 2:01 PM, Mizz Layta said:

my ex and I were on nd off again for while. He was the one always leaving only to return saying he misses me and wants me back. Once he has me he just couldn't  be bothered  and isn't interested to put effort to make it work. i finally got sick of it so when he attempted a year ago, i told him i didn't want to hear from him and  not to contact me. I blocked him on face book and changed my number. Recently he made a fake profile to circumvent that and reach out to me. he said he can't stop thinking about me and i never left his heart. This is pissing me off because I clearly told to not contact me. i felt like cussing him out and telling him to F-Off but i decided to just block. Which one is more effective? Silence or Telling them off?

I think that the silence is the way to go. It speaks VOLUMES.

[poppyfields]

On 2/7/2021 at 12:01 PM, Mizz Layta said:

my ex and I were on nd off again for while. He was the one always leaving only to return saying he misses me and wants me back. Once he has me he just couldn't  be bothered  and isn't interested to put effort to make it work. i finally got sick of it so when he attempted a year ago, i told him i didn't want to hear from him and  not to contact me. I blocked him on face book and changed my number. Recently he made a fake profile to circumvent that and reach out to me. he said he can't stop thinking about me and i never left his heart. This is pissing me off because I clearly told to not contact me. i felt like cussing him out and telling him to F-Off but i decided to just block. Which one is more effective? Silence or Telling them off?

Silence may be more effective, but what do you want to do?   Can you do that, just be silent?

Who the hell cares what he thinks, sometimes ya just gotta speak your piece, and then you feel better. 😂

IMO, it's not about him and how he will react, but what makes you feel better, that's what's most important imo.

You can always block afterwards and continue to block, but at least you got to speak your piece.

As long as you don't use any abusive language, I think it's fine, but again only if it will make YOU feel better.

Just say it and be done.

 

 

Edited February 10, 2021 by poppyfields

[StrongHands]

12 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Silence may be more effective, but what do you want to do?   Can you do that, just be silent?

Who the hell cares what he thinks, sometimes ya just gotta speak your piece, and then you feel better. 😂

IMO, it's not about him and how he will react, but what makes you feel better, that's what's most important imo.

You can always block afterwards and continue to block, but at least you got to speak your piece.

As long as you don't use any abusive language, I think it's fine, but again only if it will make YOU feel better.

Just say it and be done.

 

 

I get TELLING HIM OFF....but this guy doesn't even seem to be worth the OP's time.  Seems like she has already wasted enough of her time with this dude. 

[Alpacalia]

46 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Silence may be more effective, but what do you want to do?   Can you do that, just be silent?

Who the hell cares what he thinks, sometimes ya just gotta speak your piece, and then you feel better. 😂

IMO, it's not about him and how he will react, but what makes you feel better, that's what's most important imo.

You can always block afterwards and continue to block, but at least you got to speak your piece.

As long as you don't use any abusive language, I think it's fine, but again only if it will make YOU feel better.

Just say it and be done.

 

 

Sometimes one just has to "lose you to love me." 💔

[poppyfields]

31 minutes ago, StrongHands said:

I get TELLING HIM OFF....but this guy doesn't even seem to be worth the OP's time.  Seems like she has already wasted enough of her time with this dude. 

Course he's not worth it, and I only suggest doing it if it makes her feel better, that's what's important.  Again, who the heck cares what he thinks?

I know for me, when someone has jerked me around and it's intentional, holding anger in eats away at me, it festers and festers, so I say my piece and I am done.  It's not like I go psycho or anything lol, or use foul language I just say what I want to say, need to say, and that's it.  Fortunately, it's only happened a couple of times.  

Heck I felt angry reading her post, the way he prances in and out of her life, then creates a separate account to message her with his nonsense about her never leaving his heart, GMAFB, lol.

I am not sure what she can say, or if she even wants to, but if she does, then I think it's fine.  I am all for doing whatever it takes to make us feel better, within reason, again letting it fester inside isn't healthy and I speak from experience when saying that.

P.S. Anger does not always equate to passion, in some cases it equates to being pissed off and not allowing someone to jerk you around.

 

Edited February 10, 2021 by poppyfields

[Cheryl123]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Course he's not worth it, and I only suggest doing it if it makes her feel better, that's what's important.  Again, who the heck cares what he thinks?

I know for me, when someone has jerked me around and it's intentional, holding anger in eats away at me, it festers and festers, so I say my piece and I am done.  It's not like I go psycho or anything lol, or use foul language I just say what I want to say, need to say, and that's it.  Fortunately, it's only happened a couple of times.  

Heck I felt angry reading her post, the way he prances in and out of her life, then creates a separate account to message her with his nonsense about her never leaving his heart, GMAFB, lol.

I am not sure what she can say, or if she even wants to, but if she does, then I think it's fine.  I am all for doing whatever it takes to make us feel better, within reason, again letting it fester inside isn't healthy and I speak from experience when saying that.

P.S. Anger does not always equate to passion, in some cases it equates to being pissed off and not allowing someone to jerk you around.

 

Good point! I only went psyco on one man when he hacked my past. It was not a past I wanted to represent me today and I went psyco .. bipolar didn't help that either. 

[poppyfields]

34 minutes ago, Cheryl123 said:

Good point! I only went psyco on one man when he hacked my past. It was not a past I wanted to represent me today and I went psyco .. bipolar didn't help that either. 

Yeah never go psycho lol and I don't like the idea of "telling him off" either.

Try to keep it somewhat respectful (which can be challenging when you're that pissed), no nasty name calling, just assertively say your piece, then be done. 

And don't be bothered what he thinks about it, do it for you. 

It can serve as great closure too.

Edited February 10, 2021 by poppyfields