I was only a rebound for my ex-girlfriend, why do I still miss her so much?

[Zacon]

She was my first Girlfriend, I'm 25, she is 20. We were together for 7 months were she seemed really into me. She was the one that came after me, said so many beautiful things. We knew each other for almost a year before we started dating, and we had so many things in common.
No one never treated me so great like she did when we were together. She was my first sexual experience, my first real love. All the time we spent together was great and talked every single day. We spent a lot of time having sex and cuddling, talking about our lives and dreams, we were really compatible and she never ceased to compliment me about everything.
When her ex that had dumped her came back, I went from the angel on earth to nothing. All the smiles, the texts that she was missing me, how great I was disappeared. She broke up with me and got back with her ex.

I was so heart broken, so hurt that I said really bad things to her. She denies that I was just a rebound or someone to fill a hole, but her actions clearly shows that. I've been NC for months, but the pain still remains and I still miss her so much. 7 months is a quite long time, and since we were friends before I fell really hard for her. I texted last week to say that I was sorry for saying those things to her, but she didn't bother to answer me.

How can someone share so much intimacy with someone and now it's like we never knew each other? I did so much to her, I knew she was in pain and wanted to show her that now she had someone that trully loved her, breakfest in bed, random flowers delivered to her house. During some months she was getting really depressed and crying a lot, saying that she was afraid of hurting me and losing me, that she didn't deserve all that trouble. I knew how much I loved her then, so I helped her the best I could. Took her to therapy, to exercise, to eat better, I really encouraged her to be better and she was acting REALLY in love with me and with what I was doing, so how could she drop all of this and just go back to her ex that dumped her? How I was not enough? What did I do wrong? I always felt afraid of being just a rebound or a fling so I was crystal clear of my intentions and worries from day 1. She always assured me that I was much more than that.......

Why I'm not worth even an answer? Will she someday regret leaving me? I have my life complete figured out, awesome job, traveling the world before covid, my own car, house, I really always wanted to have something serious and build a family and so did she. Never fell so hard in love for someone like I fell for her, and seeing them posting love quotes and already back into a RS on social media really kills me inside.
Being really honest with you people, I would take her back immediately if she calls me... BUT I KNOW I SHOUDN'T. Why can't I move on from someone that does something like this?  Will she one day return? Will their RS last?

[d0nnivain]

I flagged this post for moderator review.  You posted some version of this at the end of January.  You & I have been discussing it in another thread.  You are violating community guidelines by posting the same Q multiple times.  I expect all threads will be merged shortly.  

[Alpacalia]

Sorry you are hurting. After spending seven months together, it is natural that you miss her. It will hopefully get better in time.

[assertives]

17 hours ago, Zacon said:

Being really honest with you people, I would take her back immediately if she calls me... BUT I KNOW I SHOUDN'T. Why can't I move on from someone that does something like this?

You know, she probably feels the same way too, except it's towards her ex (now current bf). You love her probably as much as she loves him. You can't lovebomb, manipulate, manufacture, threaten or even love someone into loving you back. My guess is that all those times you felt she was acting in love with you is her putting up an act to not just to convince you but also to convince herself that this is what she wants or should want. But the heart wants what the heart wants. Unless she is totally over him, she will remain emotionally unavailable to you or anyone else.

17 hours ago, Zacon said:

Why I'm not worth even an answer? Will she someday regret leaving me?

I wouldn't necessarily see it as her thinking you are not worth an answer. The reason why is frankly seldom intentionally malicious or hurtful. It could be as simple as she may not have known what to say or she could have thought it's all water under the bridge at this point, and no point rehashing things or it could also be her bf doesn't want her keeping contact with you. Point is, you've said your piece and made your apologies so it's time to close that chapter and move on.

Also, not trying to rub it in or make you feel worse, but another thing to consider is the fact that she is probably not as fixated in the past as you are because she has moved on (or perhaps was never fully in it) and is happily building towards what she wants and is living her life. There's no reason for her to sit around and mull over things like you are. Which is another sign she was never fully in it: She was mulling over and fixated in her past relationship when she was with you.

As for whether she'll someday regret leaving you, maybe, but that regret may be more of a regretting hurting someone/should have handled things better, rather than a regret not having developed a relationship/building a life with someone. You really should block her online everywhere. Seeing the progress of their relationship is going to set you back and keep you in pain.