Cookiesandough Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) He’s not at her curb at all though, cappy. She still involving herself with the nonsense. She still being messy and jealous about a girl that he is sleeping with. I knew girls that my exes had rebounded with were being used as rebounds. Did I go over there and tell them that they were just using them to get over me and get through to me? Absolutely not. ‘Cuz I wanted nothing to do with the mess anymore and hoped he actually started to genuinely fall in love at one point so he’d leave me alone. If they didn’t, they were blocked.she wanted to go to counseling with this guy and marry him at one point. Just because he refused to improve his behavior and started being a jack ass does it mean that her feelings just dissipate. They don’t. She was a forced dumper Edited March 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 hour ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Playing people is so much easier when they’re less likely to show up to your house or run into you when you’re with another person at dinner or out and about. You should always keep them in different area codes if you can But his ex lives like 15 minutes away from him. so why are you saying he’s playing her too? Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 At this point you should go ahead and date him. You’re asking for advice, yet you keep saying “But ...” So you should do what your instincts tell you and see it through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 hour ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: He’s not at her curb at all though, cappy. She still involving herself with the nonsense. She still being messy and jealous about a girl that he is sleeping with. I knew girls that my exes had rebounded with were being used as rebounds. Did I go over there and tell them that they were just using them to get over me and get through to me? Absolutely not. ‘Cuz I wanted nothing to do with the mess anymore and hoped he actually started to genuinely fall in love at one point so he’d leave me alone. If they didn’t, they were blocked.she wanted to go to counseling with this guy and marry him at one point. Just because he refused to improve his behavior and started being a jack ass does it mean that her feelings just dissipate. They don’t. She was a forced dumper She wasn’t. He told me he asked her to be honest if she slept with someone while they were broken up just a few days ago. She admitted that she did and now he’s livid with her. He said she tried to play the sympathy card by saying she’s being punished for being honest. So this is why they stopped talking again because of what she did. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 hour ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: . Did I go over there and tell them that they were just using them to get over me and get through to me? The difference being that the ex is BFF with Cappy's cousin, so I can see why she would try to warn her about this guy, Cappy is not just some unknown random. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 8 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: He told me he asked her to be honest if she slept with someone while they were broken up just a few days ago. She admitted that she did and now he’s livid with her. Hypocrite or what? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) 39 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Hypocrite or what? Yup, the double standard is still alive and well.😳 Cappy, he very clearly still feels a lot of emotion and passion for this girl otherwise he would not have gotten so "livid" when she told him she had sex with another man. Right or wrong, men tend to go a bit crazy imagining that scenario with a woman they feel passionate about, which he surely did and now they're back to not talking. His reaction was 100% emotional. Not sure why you would even consider being with a man who feels so emotional (and passionate) about another woman, but your call. Hopefully someday you will have a higher regard for yourself and not bother yourself with such unnecessary (and imo meaningless) drama. Good luck. Edited March 2, 2021 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 44 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: She wasn’t. He told me he asked her to be honest if she slept with someone while they were broken up just a few days ago. She admitted that she did and now he’s livid with her. He said she tried to play the sympathy card by saying she’s being punished for being honest. So this is why they stopped talking again because of what she did. I dunno what you want to hear . This guy is a prize? He doesn’t want anyone else playing with he sees as his stuff. Why is this surprising Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 Wow my best friend just texted me kind of...angry? I updated her and she said, “He still wants her. He will always want her. In spite of this new drama with them and adding you back, at the end of the day he still wants HER.” wtf... Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) This post is almost written like you are the ex-girlfriend and you’re writing from the perspective of the other woman. It just seems really... strange… I’m gonna go now... good luck Edited March 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 minute ago, Cappygyal said: “He still wants her. He will always want her. In spite of this new drama with them and adding you back, at the end of the day he still wants HER.” Absolutely true, read my post. I hate to say it but he's playing you for a fool and you're allowing it. My advice? Don't be that girl. Have a higher regard for yourself even if you have to fake it till you get there. What a mess, aren't you exhausted from it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 3 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: wtf... Things are very clear, there is nothing WTF about this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, FMW said: Things are very clear, there is nothing WTF about this. She said that they were just with each other the day before and they were discussing marriage. I just thought it was BS because you can’t possibly want to marry someone and then be in the inbox of the person the next day. So of course it’s a WTF to me. I honestly thought/think she made everything up because it just doesn’t make sense. Edited March 2, 2021 by Cappygyal Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 11 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: This post is almost written like you are the ex-girlfriend and you’re writing from the perspective of the other woman. It just seems really... strange… I’m gonna go now... good luck No. I posted a screenshot of my cousin texting me about this guy on the first page but it violated the rules so it was taken down. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 15 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: Wow my best friend just texted me kind of...angry? I updated her and she said, “He still wants her. He will always want her. In spite of this new drama with them and adding you back, at the end of the day he still wants HER.” Your friend is correct. Both your real-life friends and everyone here sees the situation for what it is, but you don't. Hard to tell if you are exceedingly naive, entertaining us, or something else... Assuming it's naivete, please consider listing to those who know and care about you. They are trying to protect you. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: She said that they were just with each other the day before and they were discussing marriage. I just thought it was BS because you can’t possibly want to marry someone and then be in the inbox of the person the next day. So of course it’s a WTF to me. I honestly thought/think she made everything up because it just doesn’t make sense. It makes perfect sense when you understand that love and passion (which is what he feels for HER) rarely if ever make much sense. Edited March 2, 2021 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 What do you want from this situation? Whether or not he wants his ex, it seems obvious that he won't be focusing solely on any one woman. If you don't accept what the cousin, the ex, your best friend, and everyone on here is telling you, then just keep seeing him. I hope you don't, but that may be the only way you finally believe the truth about the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 2 minutes ago, FMW said: What do you want from this situation? Whether or not he wants his ex, it seems obvious that he won't be focusing solely on any one woman. If you don't accept what the cousin, the ex, your best friend, and everyone on here is telling you, then just keep seeing him. I hope you don't, but that may be the only way you finally believe the truth about the situation. For us to see if this could turn into a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) Cappy, I asked this earlier, but you never answered. Why would you want to be with a man who so clearly is in love with another woman? And he is, no question. Don't let sex blind you. Men and women view sex quite differently from women. After an ex and I broke up a few years ago, once he got out of rehab, tried to get me back. He was quite territorial, stalking me, etc.. He actually told me he could not fully enjoy sex with another woman (and no doubt he was having lots of it) because he could only think of me during the act. Is that what you want for yourself? A relationship with a man who fantasizes about his ex while having sex with you? How insulting, how debasing! Why Cappy? This is one of the saddest threads I've read in a long time, I'm sorry. The level of denial is almost beyond belief. Edited March 2, 2021 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: Cappy, I asked this earlier, but you never answered. Why would you want to be with a man who so clearly is in love with another woman? And he is, no question. Don't let sex blind you. Men and women view sex quite differently from women. After an ex and I broke up a few years ago, once he got out of rehab, tried to get me back. He was quite territorial, stalking me, etc.. He actually told me he could not have (nor fully enjoy) sex with another woman (and no doubt he was having lots of it) because he would only think of me during the act. Is that what you want for yourself? A relationship with a man who fantasizes about his ex while having sex with you? How insulting, how debasing! Why Cappy? This is one of the saddest threads I've read in a long time, I'm sorry. The level of denial is almost beyond belief. I guess because I’m my mind he’s not “so clearly in love” with her for the reasons why I mentioned above. If anything I’m seeing it as he’s playing her. Plus, loving someone does not mean you want to be with them. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: I guess because I’m my mind he’s not “so clearly in love” with her for the reasons why I mentioned above. If anything I’m seeing it as he’s playing her. Like I said, the level of denial.... Good luck Cappy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 5 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Like I said, the level of denial.... Good luck Cappy. Apparently he begged for her to stay.... my cousin just gave me the rundown of their fight. So he got really angry and hurt that she slept with someone else. Said he still wanted to marry her but said some mean things to her. The ex said him being so angry with her when he did the same thing was hypocritical. Apparently l he begged her to stay and asked that she give him time until the end of the week to see a therapist. She walked out. Then he got really angry with her and then started following me. he wouldn’t have begged for her to stay if he didn’t want her would he? 😕 1 Link to post Share on other sites
princessaurora Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 hour ago, Cappygyal said: She said that they were just with each other the day before and they were discussing marriage. I just thought it was BS because you can’t possibly want to marry someone and then be in the inbox of the person the next day. So of course it’s a WTF to me. I honestly thought/think she made everything up because it just doesn’t make sense. Did you not see my post last week about this? I was in the exes position with my now husband. He was with the other girl for a year and the second I took him back, he told me he wanted to marry me and tossed her like she was yesterday's trash. Guess what? He was true to his word and we got married 8 months later. She was in denial too. Even when he married me she said it wouldn't last, that he didn't really love me, he just liked the chase. We've been married for over 20 years now. I've lived this situation and saw what pain it brought to this girl. You are just like her. Recognize what you're doing to yourself. You are better than this. Please find the strength to walk away. I promise you, you won't regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 3 minutes ago, princessaurora said: Did you not see my post last week about this? I was in the exes position with my now husband. He was with the other girl for a year and the second I took him back, he told me he wanted to marry me and tossed her like she was yesterday's trash. Guess what? He was true to his word and we got married 8 months later. She was in denial too. Even when he married me she said it wouldn't last, that he didn't really love me, he just liked the chase. We've been married for over 20 years now. I've lived this situation and saw what pain it brought to this girl. You are just like her. Recognize what you're doing to yourself. You are better than this. Please find the strength to walk away. I promise you, you won't regret it. I must have missed your post. So he tossed her aside the opportunity to get back with you. But he tossed his girlfriend aside yesterday and came straight to me. Genuinely asking. - isn’t this different than what happened with your husband? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: I must have missed your post. So he tossed her aside the opportunity to get back with you. But he tossed his girlfriend aside yesterday and came straight to me. Genuinely asking. - isn’t this different than what happened with your husband? BUT you are not the one he wants to marry, are you? SHE IS... You are just the temporary gf... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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