trident_2020 Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: why are you saying he’s trying to make her jealous? How is trying moving on a means to make someone jealous? If he wants to be with her, he might think "if he sees me with another woman she might get jealous and think she made a mistake and take me back". If he is trying to move on he might drown his grief by replacing it with those great feelings you have when you're screwing another woman. He could be doing both at the same time. Edited March 24, 2021 by trident_2020 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 5 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: That is some twisted logic right there. You're jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 24, 2021 Author Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: If he wants to be with her, he might think "if he sees me with another woman she might get jealous and think she made a mistake and take me back". If he is trying to move on he might drown his grief by replacing it with those great feelings you have when you're screwing another woman. He could be doing both at the same time. That’s kind of what my friend said.... She broke up with him because he got upset with her for sleeping with someone while broken up. He begged for her to stay and said that he still wanted to marry her but she still broke up with him. The very next day he added me back on social media..... so what do you think he’s trying to do? Edited March 24, 2021 by Cappygyal Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 24, 2021 Author Share Posted March 24, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: You're jealous. I’m jealous? Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 54 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: My friend said before I left that he’s using me for sex to get over her and to hurt her because he’s hurt - that he’s hoping she finds out I’m here. If he was so hurt he wouldn’t have had me come out here so quickly. He would be by himself. That’s not the case. Where are you getting your information? This (bolded) is incorrect. You are a distraction from the hurt. It's certainly not something to be flattered by or gloating about. Edited March 24, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 24, 2021 Author Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Where are you getting your information? This (bolded) is incorrect. You are a distraction from the hurt. It's certainly not something to be gloating about. 😕 I just thought he realized that he didn’t want his ex and that he actually wanted me instead.... especially when he added me back on social media the very next day after they broke up and his ex could clearly see it since they were friends on there. Like it was, “see *ex* I’m choosing cappygyal and I want you to know” Edited March 24, 2021 by Cappygyal Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 49 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: You don’t think he wanted me to see him so quickly because he couldn’t wait to see me? I’m the one he actually wants? If he was using me I don’t think he would’ve come back to me so quickly. If you wish to believe this "story" you are telling yourself to avoid dealing with reality, feel free. However, I have no doubt this isn't going to end well for you but might be a great learning experience if you allow it to be. Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 49 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: so what do you think he’s trying to do? You need to get to the point where you don't care what he's trying to do. Edited March 24, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator civility Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 27 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: 😕 I just thought he realized that he didn’t want his ex and that he actually wanted me instead... Sorry, but wrong! That was very naïve of you to think that way. Listen to your friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 24, 2021 Author Share Posted March 24, 2021 6 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Sorry, but wrong! That was very naïve of you to think that way. Listen to your friend. So you agree that he’s trying to use me to hurt her? Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 13 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: So you agree that he’s trying to use me to hurt her? If not A, not necessarily B, could be C. As opposed to if not A than B. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Cappygyal said: ...especially when he added me back on social media the very next day after they broke up and his ex could clearly see it since they were friends on there. Like it was, “see *ex* I’m choosing cappygyal and I want you to know” Cappy, you really have a lot to learn. The bolded was done in an attempt to elicit a jealous reaction from her; I mean that is like so obvious I am shocked that you are trying to spin this in another direction, in your favor. And only people who care about their ex's, who still have strong feelings/emotions for their ex's would make such a desperate attempt to win their ex back through jealousy. Or hurt them through jealousy. It's sad, pathetic really, and again painfully, embarrassingly obvious that is what he was doing. I mean it was the very next day Cappy, come on! Edited March 24, 2021 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 17 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: So you agree that he’s trying to use me to hurt her? Yes. "Use" being the operative word. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, trident_2020 said: If he wants to be with her, he might think "if he sees me with another woman she might get jealous and think she made a mistake and take me back". If he is trying to move on he might drown his grief by replacing it with those great feelings you have when you're screwing another woman. He could be doing both at the same time. Can I add one more to the list as well? He likes the ego boost of rotating a woman who is desperate to be with him despite him offering him very little to her & treating her like 2nd string. Ultimate ego boost after the big ego bruise that is being dumped by the girlfriend (don't want to hash out that he wasn't the one dumped by her--there obviously was some of that going on, otherwise he wouldn't be so "conflicted"). He's using you to pump up his ego and you are ripe for it. BTW, this is not a "life win" by any means. Edited March 24, 2021 by Versacehottie 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 5 minutes ago, Versacehottie said: He's using you to pump up his ego and you are ripe for it. What man doesn’t like having two women in a love triangle? She has literally been waiting by the phone for him to call, and the moment he did - she jumped a plane and bang! It’s on. That’s got to feel pretty great for anyone. Again, he didn’t have to do a thing except dial your number and probably buy you a nice dinner again... What’s not to like about that! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 5 hours ago, Cappygyal said: What do you mean “arrangement”? How is seeing/dating someone an arrangement? This isn't dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 24, 2021 Author Share Posted March 24, 2021 51 minutes ago, Versacehottie said: Can I add one more to the list as well? He likes the ego boost of rotating a woman who is desperate to be with him despite him offering him very little to her & treating her like 2nd string. Ultimate ego boost after the big ego bruise that is being dumped by the girlfriend (don't want to hash out that he wasn't the one dumped by her--there obviously was some of that going on, otherwise he wouldn't be so "conflicted"). He's using you to pump up his ego and you are ripe for it. BTW, this is not a "life win" by any means. So you’re saying he dumped her? If he dumped her why would he need an ego boost? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 44 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: This isn't dating. No, it’s not dating. This is a long distance booty call... Edited March 24, 2021 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 9 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: If he dumped her why would he need an ego boost? Low self esteem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: Low self esteem. Likely, also one of the reasons why you haven’t told this man to lose your number. Edited March 24, 2021 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Cappygyal said: So you’re saying he dumped her? If he dumped her why would he need an ego boost? No, I'm saying he was dumped. Regardless to whatever you've heard happen with them about their "breakup", he's not entirely accepting of it. His ego is bruised. Maybe it's not what he wanted. He feels like he failed in some way. If he still has feelings for her (he does!), the fact that it's rocky at the moment BETWEEN THEM, is further ego bruise. He's using you to make her jealous and make himself feel good. Edited March 24, 2021 by Versacehottie 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) Don’t know if I buy he had sex with you because of an ego boost. He probably wanted to have sex with you bc he’s a hassat and he wanted some new wet wet. That’s the way some dudes operate. They’re newly single because their ex had enough of their bull, but they want novel sex and they want it now and you are just another vessel to get it. It wasn’t like he was a great boyfriend to her and then she dumped him out of the blue. He treated her wrong by your cousin’s account, refused to work on it together , so she wised up before marrying the guy. I think he only used you as a way to get back at her after she rejected him the last time( if you believe she is a trustworthy source on this, I wouldn’t) It seems like he was trying to compartmentalize guys ( and probably someone others) so he could sleep with you while things were up in the air with her. He was still playing her after he started messing with you( hence the MED cryptic Facebook post. That was a nod at her without telling other girls )trying to get her back. Unfortunately, he is just very sloppy. It didn’t work out in his favor, unfortunately because (sans her last hurrah involving herself in the drama by telling you) she has since wised up and realized she can do way better. You, on the other hand.... Edited March 24, 2021 by Cookiesandough 2 Link to post Share on other sites
princessaurora Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 I still stand by what I said before. If she decides to give him another chance in the future, he will drop you as if you never existed. It saddens me you don't have more respect for yourself. I see a tsunami of sadness in your future. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 7 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Don’t know if I buy he had sex with you because of an ego boost. He probably wanted to have sex with you bc he’s a hassat and he wanted some wet wet. That’s the way some dudes operate. They’re newly single because their ex had enough of their bull, but they want sex and they want it now and you are just another vessel to get it. It wasn’t like he was a great boyfriend to her and then she dumped him out of the blue. He treated her wrong by your cousin’s account, refused to work on it together , so she wised up before marrying the guy. I think he only used you as a way to get back at her after she rejected him the last time( if you believe she is a trustworthy source on this, I wouldn’t) It seems like he was trying to compartmentalize guys ( and probably someone others) so he could sleep with you while things were up in the air with her. He was still playing her after he started messing with you( hence the MED cryptic Facebook post. That was a nod at her without telling other girls )trying to get her back. Unfortunately, he is just very sloppy. It didn’t work out in his favor, unfortunately because (sans her last hurrah involving herself in the drama by telling you) she has since wised up and realized she can do way better. You, on the other hand.... Oh yeah 100%. The ego boost was just one of 3 options. I'm guessing it plays a part though regardless just because in general people get the ego boost when someone wants to have sex with them. Amp'd up if they are feeling bad about what their real worth and market value is when girlfriend is over their sh*t. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappygyal Posted March 24, 2021 Author Share Posted March 24, 2021 (edited) 27 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Don’t know if I buy he had sex with you because of an ego boost. He probably wanted to have sex with you bc he’s a hassat and he wanted some new wet wet. That’s the way some dudes operate. They’re newly single because their ex had enough of their bull, but they want novel sex and they want it now and you are just another vessel to get it. It wasn’t like he was a great boyfriend to her and then she dumped him out of the blue. He treated her wrong by your cousin’s account, refused to work on it together , so she wised up before marrying the guy. I think he only used you as a way to get back at her after she rejected him the last time( if you believe she is a trustworthy source on this, I wouldn’t) It seems like he was trying to compartmentalize guys ( and probably someone others) so he could sleep with you while things were up in the air with her. He was still playing her after he started messing with you( hence the MED cryptic Facebook post. That was a nod at her without telling other girls )trying to get her back. Unfortunately, he is just very sloppy. It didn’t work out in his favor, unfortunately because (sans her last hurrah involving herself in the drama by telling you) she has since wised up and realized she can do way better. You, on the other hand.... My cousin said that when they’ve broken up before he always posts cryptic things because he’s afraid she’ll reject him because he knows he screwed up but he does it in hopes that shed contact him instead to avoid rejection. She also said that she was all he ever talked about while they were broken up, even with his guy friends. My cousin said before I came out here the first time he broke done in tears because he thought she had moved on so that’s when she warned me that she thought he was just using me to get over her and for an ego boost because she had been ignoring for months. So my cousin is under the impression that I’m around as a bandaid and ego boost. I don’t agree that he was playing either one of us. She had been ignoring him for months so she was completely out of the picture and he was single so he approached me. Edited March 24, 2021 by Cappygyal Link to post Share on other sites
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