Does he want his ex back? I'm flying out to be with him for VDAY tomorrow.

[ExpatInItaly]

9 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

Well if you’re saying there’s a chance of us being together that means he has feelings for me and that I was right - if he didn’t have feelings for me we wouldn’t be spending Valentine’s Day weekend together.

At the risk of sounding insensitive - have you had much dating experience?

Your logic suggests you are unfamiliar with what rebounds an hookups look like, 

[Wiseman2]

You're talking to people on forums more than you're talking to him 😂

[Cappygyal]

5 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

At the risk of sounding insensitive - have you had much dating experience?

Your logic suggests you are unfamiliar with what rebounds an hookups look like, 

No. I clarified a pew posts ago that I’m actually  turned 22 in September (I thought I was too young to post here at first). He’s 30 and will be 31 in the summer.

[Cappygyal]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

You're talking to people on forums more than you're talking to him 😂

It’s because I can’t sleep and he’s knocked out. It’s 4 am here. 

Edited February 14, 2021 by Cappygyal

[ExpatInItaly]

1 minute ago, Cappygyal said:

No. I clarified a pew posts ago that I’m actually  turned 22 in September (I thought I was too young to post here at first). He’s 30 and will be 31 in the summer.

I saw that. I wasn’t asking how old you are, though, 

I’m asking if you’ve had relationships, dated around a little, and so on. 

[Cappygyal]

2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I saw that. I wasn’t asking how old you are, though, 

I’m asking if you’ve had relationships, dated around a little, and so on. 

I had one for about a year in college and another in HS. 

[Calmandfocused]

CG, my heart is breaking for how much in denial you are. You’re really not listening to anyone because you’re only seeing what you want to see. For that reason no one here can help you ☹️. I’m sorry. 
 

Look at your posts in this thread. Every poster is in unanimous agreement, yet you only take notice of responses where you can “twist” something someone’s written to further convince yourself that there is hope here with this guy. 
 

There isn’t any hope and you are going to get very very hurt. 
 

But you won’t listen to me or anyone so it’s pointless for me to carry on. 
 

I wish you all the best CG. 

[elaine567]

1 hour ago, Cappygyal said:

if he didn’t have feelings for me we wouldn’t be spending Valentine’s Day weekend together.

Ever heard of "a dirty weekend"?

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, Cappygyal said:

Well if you’re saying there’s a chance of us being together that means he has feelings for me and that I was right - if he didn’t have feelings for me we wouldn’t be spending Valentine’s Day weekend together.

Friend, a man is not going to turn down an opportunity for sex. Particularly not a 30 year old man who just broke up with his girlfriend who has the opportunity to spend the weekend with a 22 year old. 

You have a lot to learn about men, relationships, hookups, and rebounds. 

[Cappygyal]

20 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

Friend, a man is not going to turn down an opportunity for sex. Particularly not a 30 year old man who just broke up with his girlfriend who has the opportunity to spend the weekend with a 22 year old. 

You have a lot to learn about men, relationships, hookups, and rebounds. 

So you agree with the PP, that he’s  using me as a play thing?

[mortensorchid]

17 hours ago, Cappygyal said:

He seems more angry. But then 3 days ago he posted a video of him at the gym but with this slow song by The Weeknd. The song was about a guy who is in love with this girl who is with someone else and he says, “ can you just put your pride aside and call me. Can you take a try on me?”. I didn’t think of it really then. Later that night is when he posted her initials or those random letters saying she’s or whomever is stuck on his mind. 
 

When he talks about her he seems a little angry and like he doesn’t care like, “yea it’s whatever”

His emotions are fluctuating because that's how it is when you are not over someone.  You are happy one minute, then you're angry, depressed, anxious, etc.  Hangover emotions as well.  Why?  Because he's not over her and he sounds like he's refusing to get over her.  Contradictions?  Yes.  And if someone has nothing but contradictions then you don't want them in your life.  Fact.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, Cappygyal said:

So you agree with the PP, that he’s  using me as a play thing?

He's not exactly using you if he hasn't offered you anything more; you're volunteering for this. 

I do, however, agree with the notion that he doesn't see you as more than a little fun and easy sex. Sorry, CG. 

[Cappygyal]

HE TEXTED HER HAPPY VALENTINES DAY with a heart emoji lmao. 

The ex screen shot it and put it in the group  chat with my cousin.

This is hilarious.

[poppyfields]

16 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

HE TEXTED HER HAPPY VALENTINES DAY with a heart emoji lmao. 

The ex screen shot it and put it in the group  chat with my cousin.

This is hilarious.

Well, I'm glad you're laughing and not crying. 😂

If me (not that I would have gotten myself entangled in this mess), I'd book myself on the next flight home.

Buh bye fella, have a nice life. 

Edited February 14, 2021 by poppyfields

[BaileyB]

 

1 hour ago, Cappygyal said:

HE TEXTED HER HAPPY VALENTINES DAY with a heart emoji lmao. 

The ex screen shot it and put it in the group chat with my cousin.

This is hilarious.

Whats your plan? 

[Cappygyal]

On 2/14/2021 at 2:52 PM, BaileyB said:

 

Whats your plan? 

I’m still here.

I thought about it, it didn’t end badly between the two of them so I’m sure he was just being friendly with her? She responded back to him. He then brought up how he hasn’t seen her in 5 months and asked her if he’d see her at this concert in the spring.

Yet he’s still here with me and he just took me to a nice restaurant by the water

Edited February 15, 2021 by Cappygyal

[amygirl908]

On 2/14/2021 at 9:39 AM, Cappygyal said:

So you agree with the PP, that he’s  using me as a play thing?

100% 1000% 10000% - He's totally using you and you're playing right into it.

On 2/14/2021 at 1:19 PM, Cappygyal said:

HE TEXTED HER HAPPY VALENTINES DAY with a heart emoji lmao. 

The ex screen shot it and put it in the group  chat with my cousin.

This is hilarious.

Gross - he did it behind your back too.

13 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

I’m still here.

I thought about it, it didn’t end badly between the two of them so I’m sure he was just being friendly with her? She responded back to him. He then brought up how he hasn’t seen her in 5 months and asked her if he’d see her at this concert in the spring.

Yet he’s still here with me and he just took me to a nice restaurant by the water

You are literally in so much denial it makes my stomach turn. Definitely didn't text my ex from 4 months ago Happy Valentine's Day with a heart emoji. They were together for 2 years and even though it "didn't end badly" he has not had enough time to get over her. However he's also show you concrete evidence that he's not over her. Being on the SM, posting things that elude to her, memes about relationships that are clearly about her.

Stop making excuses for this slime ball - just some advice I wish I'd have gotten/listened to when I was 22 would have save me A LOT of heartache.

This guy is bad news get outta there. Have some self-respect.

[Wiseman2]

So you are 21, 27 or 31? You stated several different ages.

[Cappygyal]

8 minutes ago, amygirl908 said:

100% 1000% 10000% - He's totally using you and you're playing right into it.

Gross - he did it behind your back too.

You are literally in so much denial it makes my stomach turn. Definitely didn't text my ex from 4 months ago Happy Valentine's Day with a heart emoji. They were together for 2 years and even though it "didn't end badly" he has not had enough time to get over her. However he's also show you concrete evidence that he's not over her. Being on the SM, posting things that elude to her, memes about relationships that are clearly about her.

Stop making excuses for this slime ball - just some advice I wish I'd have gotten/listened to when I was 22 would have save me A LOT of heartache.

This guy is bad news get outta there. Have some self-respect.

Well we’re not exclusive so I didn’t really see the harm? If we were official it would definitely be a hell no that he texted her.

but isn’t he trying to get over her if he’s with me still? Not over someone doesn’t mean you want them back you in your life.

[Cappygyal]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

So you are 21, 27 or 31? You stated several different ages.

Huh? I never said I was 31 I said he’ll be 31 in the summer. I just turned 22 in September.

[amygirl908]

Just now, Cappygyal said:

Well we’re not exclusive so I didn’t really see the harm? If we were official it would definitely be a hell no that he texted her.

but isn’t he trying to get over her if he’s with me still? Not over someone doesn’t mean you want them back you in your life.

It's one thing to be in a non exclusive relationship with someone who is "dating" other people. This guy is pining after his ex and would 100% leave you in a flash if she told him right now that she would get back together with him.

That's the kicker though he's not trying to get over her, he's still trying to get her attention. Being with you is irrelevant, you're a filler right now. A step in. A replacement. When a man is caught up on someone else they don't care who the stand in is.

[Cappygyal]

6 minutes ago, amygirl908 said:

It's one thing to be in a non exclusive relationship with someone who is "dating" other people. This guy is pining after his ex and would 100% leave you in a flash if she told him right now that she would get back together with him.

That's the kicker though he's not trying to get over her, he's still trying to get her attention. Being with you is irrelevant, you're a filler right now. A step in. A replacement. When a man is caught up on someone else they don't care who the stand in is.

Then why he is taking me out to nice restaurants? He’s not afraid to be out with me. I always heard that men who aren’t interested in you don’t want to take you out.

 I’m not trying to be argumentative btw I’m genuinely asking. 

[amygirl908]

8 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

Then why he is taking me out to nice restaurants? He’s not afraid to be out with me. I always heard that men who aren’t interested in you don’t want to take you out.

 I’m not trying to be argumentative btw I’m genuinely asking. 

It's ok I get it you want to poke every hole and make every excuse cause you wanna live in denial I've done it before.

Going to those places has nothing to do with you. Especially if he's someone with means. I dated a guy who probably spent $1000 dollars on me in one weekend all on his own accord, but that wasn't because he was with me that's because that's what his lifestyle was. You're leaving so what's there to be afraid of.

I used to work in a bar and I had one customer who came in every single night with a new girl. He was very polite to them, polite to me, tipped very well, spared no expense, but those women didn't mean anything to him. I later became friends with him and his life was totally fascinating, but he was always a player back then. Very kind and caring, but not seriously interested in any of these women in his lineup. Not really suggesting that your guy is a player but as an example to say that guys don't care enough to be afraid to be out with someone. They're going to get what they want some guys are just nice about how they do it.

Don't be fooled by appearances - https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1967760-santa-claus

Edited February 15, 2021 by amygirl908

[basil67]

5 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

Then why he is taking me out to nice restaurants? He’s not afraid to be out with me. I always heard that men who aren’t interested in you don’t want to take you out

 

Don't listen to advice which suggests that people who feel X always do Y.  People do all different things for different reasons.    He could very easily be doing the things with you which he wishes he was doing with her.  

 

[elaine567]

The problem here is one minute you are not exclusive it is just a bit of fun -  then next minute you seem to think he has feelings for you and that it all means something...
I feel you are very attached here, pretending you don't care, pretending it wasn't a huge blow to your ego that he was pining after his lost love... when this was supposed to be  a romantic weekend away...
You are hoping against hope that if you stick around long enough, he will think you are special...
BUT it doesn't tend to work like that.