heavygunner Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 (edited) Hi ! Post might be long. I kindly request to read and give me some relaxation. I am almost 30 now. I am coming from South Indian Traditional Family. My Elder bro and younger bro loved and got married to their girlfriends. Guess what ? my parents didn't even attended their wedding. Almost neglected them. In 2012, I Started my own Gaming Studio. That time I loved a girl and her parents not accepted me bcoz of my Caste. She married to another guy. I became stressed , depressed and almost lost everything. Attempted suicide and survived, Thank god. Years passed. Honestly saying, my parents managed my expenses till last November. Yes, I ate on my parent's money from age of 22-29. But, still used to make games and earn little money. I never thought of loving a girl in these years. I almost turned into an animal. I became introvert and stopped having friends. I like being alone always. By November 2020, while browsing FB feed, FB suggested one profile to me. Yes, She was my childhood friend. We are same age. We both were best friends when we were 5 . I msged her and told I'm ur friend. She, don't remember. and refused to accept my friend request as she don't know me. But, she do one line reply, if I send anything generally. She educated, Working as Software Developer. She isn't married yet. She told, she is loving someone but due to family (Typical backward Hindu family as mine). So, She is just waiting for arranged marriage. Still, her parents are looking for a groom. by End of December, I proposed her in messenger. She blocked me immediately. In this gap, I refreshed myself. My typical productivity is 0. It increased to 3 hrs. When she blocked, that time i worked daily 3 hrs. Ya, that is big for me. Later days, She unblocked me and told "I know your situation, your name ruined. I don't want to hurt you. Try to become a successful person, Never message me again" I kept silent and focused on work. now I increased my productivity to 5 hrs. 2 Days ago, I got her mobile number. I just pinged. Guess what ? She texted me on WhatsApp. I post the few texts what she sent. Deleted her name and Message time Quote ❤️: Try to make understand your head.... if you are depressed and unsuccessful that's your problem why do I bother about you...I hate stupid persons from first message I clearly said I didn't like you and I will never❤️: But still you are irritating me like❤️: I like intelligent and genuine persons. You are not any of these ❤️: You are a coward ...to blame your depression ❤️: Even I faced depression throughout my life but that doesn't change any of my qualities ❤️: I studied well worked well ❤️: 7 companies gave me offer letter ❤️: So I would expect my guy should be more intelligent than me he should be in respectful position❤️: Atleast he has to studied more than me [❤️: And he should be genuine ❤️: I found a person with these qualities❤️: But still I didn't accept bcz of my family❤️: You are not half qualities of them ❤️: You tried all cheap tricks ❤️: You made use of my kindness❤️: You ruined my mental peace❤️: So I cant be kind with you anymore nor patient❤️: No one can cure you❤️: You are the reason for your depression ❤️: You are hiding behind depression❤️: Your irresponsibility is the reason ❤️: Change your mind first❤️: Work hard for yourself❤️: Or else you will never be successful ❤️: No worries I will block you❤️: But before that I will vent out what is in my head ❤️: Good bye❤️: I never meet a irritating person like you❤️: I am honest with everyone And Finally She Blocked me. Some Notable Points : She doesn't know how I looks like, since I have no pic of mine on my profile. I also don't know How she looks like. Do you guys think that Will she accept me Once I become successful ? or I irritated her a lot? Any tips for winning her heart ? My life almost changed a lot in last 3 months coz of her. I don't want to lose her. Thanks Edited February 15, 2021 by heavygunner Link to post Share on other sites
Calendula Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 I think you need to move on and continue to work on improving yourself and your life, independently of relationships with girls. It seems you've built up this person to some unrealistic degree, putting her on a pedestal, rather than gradually getting to know her. And then you jumped off a cliff with a proposal instead of testing out the possibility first. So of course you got blocked and rejected and it is HIGHLY unlikely that anything you could do now would change that. Let her be and keep looking. Otherwise you're just going to keep beating your head against the wall with your eyes closed instead of looking around to find a door that gets you to the next stage of your life. It's great that your productivity increased, but YOU did that, not some other person. Sure you may have been inspired to do so because of your hopes of another person, but YOU were still the one who put in the work and time. So perhaps try to find another reason to continue to improve yourself. An internally motivated reason rather than one inspired by another person whom you don't even really know. Accept the rejection, the loss, and move on. This is not the end of your world but rather a new opportunity to try again with someone new who might be a better fit for you and doesn't have negative associations. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author heavygunner Posted February 16, 2021 Author Share Posted February 16, 2021 4 hours ago, Calendula said: I think you need to move on and continue to work on improving yourself and your life, independently of relationships with girls. It seems you've built up this person to some unrealistic degree, putting her on a pedestal, rather than gradually getting to know her. And then you jumped off a cliff with a proposal instead of testing out the possibility first. So of course you got blocked and rejected and it is HIGHLY unlikely that anything you could do now would change that. Let her be and keep looking. Otherwise you're just going to keep beating your head against the wall with your eyes closed instead of looking around to find a door that gets you to the next stage of your life. It's great that your productivity increased, but YOU did that, not some other person. Sure you may have been inspired to do so because of your hopes of another person, but YOU were still the one who put in the work and time. So perhaps try to find another reason to continue to improve yourself. An internally motivated reason rather than one inspired by another person whom you don't even really know. Accept the rejection, the loss, and move on. This is not the end of your world but rather a new opportunity to try again with someone new who might be a better fit for you and doesn't have negative associations. Thanks @Calendula ! You are right. But, for now, I am gonna take this as positive. 1. I am not gonna text her from now 2. I was super active boy in early stages. Gonna, focus on my carrier and have to become a guy who is bit above than standard guys in my age. 3. Today having an appointment with psychiatrist take counselling. 4. Once i feel, I am strong, Will connect again with her family via my parents. Since both are typical idiotic Hindu family, there is a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
MihiranCG Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 I think the Answer is in yourself.. Ask yourself What the reason happen before your felt.. Emptiness , hopeless without success of true love..isn't it so? Then you met a old friend, but it also through face book.. Make a try, understand you.. I'm very sad that CAST matter, i've seen many country in south asia this happening. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author heavygunner Posted February 16, 2021 Author Share Posted February 16, 2021 3 minutes ago, MihiranCG said: I think the Answer is in yourself.. Ask yourself What the reason happen before your felt.. Emptiness , hopeless without success of true love..isn't it so? Then you met a old friend, but it also through face book.. Make a try, understand you.. I'm very sad that CAST matter, i've seen many country in south asia this happening. Ya, Caste is like cancer. People even kill their own children if they marry out of caste. Honor Killing Yes, Will give a try. What I need is for now is PATIENCE Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) She has said she is not interested. She has even been rude and unpleasant. Why would you want someone who is so disrespectful to you? I am sorry the caste system is affecting your life. As a Westerner, it has never made sense but I appreciate it is a big thing in India. If you really want a chance with this woman (and I cannot see why as she seems so horrible) then do not contact her at all. If she is interested at all, she will find a way to make contact when she realises you are not contacting her. You need to respect yourself and not chase women who are rude to you. Perhaps you have been bothering her after she said no? You would be better focusing on your career and going to counselling to help you with depression. You may well meet someone else who you like. Be open to finding someone else. If you get fixated on one person, then you don't tend to notice others around you. Depression is horrible and I know it takes away motivation and happiness. Going to counselling and taking medication (if advised) can help you to deal with it. Once you are feeling better, you will find strength to improve your life and ultimately to find a lovely lady who treats you with kindness and respect. Edited February 16, 2021 by spiderowl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MihiranCG Posted February 17, 2021 Share Posted February 17, 2021 23 hours ago, heavygunner said: Ya, Caste is like cancer. People even kill their own children if they marry out of caste. Honor Killing Yes, Will give a try. What I need is for now is PATIENCE Try to follow real therapy from Buddhism , it's not hard to find because you're from india right.. will help you to understand yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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