MsJayne Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 I realise that some people who have affairs just find themselves there without any pre-planning, but I'm more interested in people who are married and who actually go looking for extra-marital relationships. At what point do you decide that your partner isn't meeting your needs and what makes you choose an affair rather than talking to your partner about things that bother you? Is it a revenge thing or a loneliness thing, or both, or neither? How many people are so resentful of a spouse that they don't care that their partner would be hurt and the marriage damaged, or finished, if they got caught? Specifically in relation to women, how often is an affair motivated by having a partner who neglects you in some way, and what counts as neglect serious enough to justify looking elsewhere for attention? Link to post Share on other sites
Soul-shards Posted February 23, 2021 Share Posted February 23, 2021 I have never had a physical affair but I am in what could be described an emotional one. I will not go into details but let's call it that. What made me? As a very traditional person who hasn't even been aware other men exist throughout 20 years of perfectly faithful marriage - the accidental encounter with this man was earth shattering. Incredible compatibility of ilk, thought, outlook on life, beliefs, values, parallels in our youth, our names, even our looks. Everything. If the soulmate theory is real - he is one of mine, no doubt. So the short answer would be: mind-boggling compatibility. People could wait a lifetime to encounter this kind of thing and it would still not happens to most who waited. To find a match as perfect as this at the right time, in youth, when both are single and available - it would be the equivalent of hitting the jackpot. Link to post Share on other sites
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