Why is my ex friend with benefits behaving like this?

[Caribou1999]

First, sorry for my english, it is not my mother tounge. I am in such a situation that I cannot understand the behaviour of this specific gir. Me and her are work colleagues and she at the time of dating was divorced and I was thinking of divorcing myself, but never had courage to do so because of the children and knowing the feeling of being a child from a failed marriage.

Anyhow from the beginning of my relationship with this girl, I was very clear that we can be friends with benefits - ocassionaly having sex becuase I could not promise her I was gonna divorce anytime soon. While we were in such a relationship I always adviced her to find someone single because I being married was not a good catch. And she was going out on dates with various guys but never really felt interested in them, until we went on one party where a guy was flirting with her, whispering into her ear and almost making out with her. I was watching this I didnt like it but hey we were only friends with benefits and I knew I had no right to feel cheated or angry. However we continued to have sex and this guy kept on calling her and she even spoke with him in front of me. I guess he was genuinely interested in her. One day, I got a female perfume which I did not give to her and she felt offended. We had a fight over that and broke up whatever we had, but continued working together. Ten days after that, I was determined to get a divorce not because of her me, and went to her place to tell her that and if she wants she can be with me after the divorce gets finalized. Ofcourse I told her that I believe that she has feelings for me and that we were notfriends with benefits but more than that. That night she told me that she started dating the guy from the party and that she does not want to be with me. So basically ten days after we had sex and broke up she went on a date with this guy. Iwas hurt but again told myself that we were onlz [friends with benefits] and nothing more and I decided to move on.

Last week I was driving in a car with her.  I was texting on my cell phone with a new girl I met when she told me that she got irritated by the fact that I text and drive. I got upset and called this girl I was texting and told her basically the same things I wanted to text her and we arranged a date. My [fwb] went crazy and started threatening me, started insulting me and she even said I would be on my knees begging her to get back together. She even said that she was not jealous but that I showed disrespect when I called a new girl and arranged a date in front of her. Next thing she did, pulled out her cell phone and arranged a date with this guy she met at the party. Please, is this behaviour showing that she cared and if she cared why did she went on dates with other guys, flirted with a guy at the party, and is there any reasonable explanation why she feels I used  her when I did the same things she previously did to me?

Edited February 20, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed inappropriate language

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Caribou1999 said:

.Me and her are work colleagues  I was thinking of divorcing myself, 

Do you still work together? Are you still legally married and living with your wife?

If you want to get divorced, just do that. Does your wife know about your affairs? Is she threatening divorce?

Your mistress seems to be done with you.

Be professional at work. Otherwise delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps.

Stop hanging out with this mistress until you get your situation figured out.

Edited February 20, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Caribou1999]

Yes, we still work together but obviously the relations are not what they used to be. I am in a process of getting a divorce and my wife agrees we shoud separate. 

I understand my mistress as you say is done with me, however I cannot understand why she is mad if I moved on so quickly after she dumped me? Shouldnt she be happy for me, or at least indifferent?

Edited February 20, 2021 by Caribou1999

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Caribou1999 said:

Yes, we still work together but obviously the relations are not what they used to be. I am in a process of getting a divorce and my wife agrees we shoud separate.

Excellent. Be professional at work. She could file sexual harassment charges. 

She could also get vindictive and tell your wife about your affairs and cheating. That could put a lot of unfavorable fuel on the fire of your divorce.

Leave her alone. Delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps. 

Stop playing crazy games with work colleagues, it could backfire.

Chronically cheating on your wife and chasing after co-workers could catch up with you.

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, Caribou1999 said:

Yes, we still work together but obviously the relations are not what they used to be. I am in a process of getting a divorce and my wife agrees we shoud separate. 

I understand my mistress as you say is done with me, however I cannot understand why she is mad if I moved on so quickly after she dumped me? Shouldnt she be happy for me, or at least indifferent?

Does she know you cheat on her?

Your ex-mistress is territorial. This is her ego speaking. That's all. Cut contact with her and your other mistresses and man up by divorcing and then dating. Not the other way around. This is deplorable on your part. 

[kendahke]

1. Texting and driving are dangerous. Period. Full Stop.  Stop doing that before you kill someone.

2. What you did was supremely immature, rude and offensive. She was right--you're supposed to be paying attention to the road while driving, not texting-on top of texting some other chick while you were with her. Then you doubled down on the immaturity by calling her... but when she flipped that script on you, you begin whining.

3. Stop dating and fwb-ing until your divorce is final. You have a lot more growing up you need to do.