I'm 28 with a master's degree working as a janitor

[gvitesse]

I am looking for some serious advice on how to make a total transformation in my life. I am willing to seek professional help. My biggest regret in life is not working on my career when I had the opportunity abroad, instead, I ended up doing manual labor jobs to sustain myself here. This is not the first time I’m regretting my decisions. I spend a lot of time planning but not taking any action. This has happened numerous times throughout my life. It was always a “Wish I had done that” feeling. I was always aware of what I could achieve, my potential, and how to achieve it but no action.

Growing up as a kid, I was very social, did well in my school, played violin, was good at painting - The ideal student admired by everyone. Things started to change in college as I wasted countless hours playing online games which resulted in a poor GPA. Then I met someone online which gave me a lot of motivation. As our relationship grew, I decided to move to her country, build a new life there. I started to work on building my profile to get into a University. It paid off, I got accepted into a University. My parents did support me but they always seemed doubtful that I’m not smart enough for a Master's degree. I studied full-time, held a part-time job, took care of my expenses and this busy life made me feel content. I even topped my University. That’s where my happy days end. I discovered my partner's affair, it was traumatic. In addition, there were certain incidents in my family that gave me a lot of trauma. To this day, I get anxious thinking about it. This led me to start drinking regularly but I don't think my drinking problem originated because of this. My drinking problems originated because of social anxiety. I mostly drink on weekends as I like to feel fresh on weekdays.

When Covid began, I lost my part-time job. Being home, not being productive is something I hate no matter how happy or depressed I am. I keep my room clean and live an organized life. It's probably the only thing in my life that I have control over. Despite graduating with a Master's in IT, I've been working in hotels, supermarkets and now, work as a full-time cleaner in a hospital. I worked in covid wards, ICU, mental, and ED. I felt like I'm contributing something to society. I never put any effort into finding my desired job. It has been a year since I graduated. Since then I never put any effort into finding the job I studied for so many years.

Since my work started early in the morning, I used to wake up at 4 am, walk 2km to the train station. When I think about this, I don't consider myself lazy since I have managed to work 40-55+ hours a week. At the end of my week, instead of socializing with friends, I drank - every Friday night (sometimes Saturday night) as well. The only free day I had, I went out trekking or going for long walks as it's something I enjoy. I've stopped drinking in my free time now which is probably why I'm coming to my senses feeling guilty every time I waste my free time.

I want to get back into my career, join a gym, visit a therapist to work on my mental health, gain more knowledge in technology. I am putting no effort into my career, and I am letting my talent go to waste. Most of my free time is spent online procrastinating convincing myself that "I'll fix my life from next week".

Sometimes I wonder whether I have ADHD. I'm also socially anxious around certain people. For instance, I'm afraid of attending a meet-up or when it comes to going on dates. I have no trouble interacting with people I perceive as safe. Last week, I had a date and I ended up going mildly drunk to be at ease but I ended up not being myself. At present, I show no interest in connecting with friends, networking (I had several connections who could have helped me land a job) but I never contacted them. I feel like I don't have any skills to be working as a software engineer.

I don't know if I'm depressed but I do that I have a lot of issues. I still walk daily, go to work, cook my own food, keep my room clean, that's about it.

TL;DR Time is running out for me, I'm 28 with only 2 years of work experience, a Masters degree, and wasting my time being a cleaner in a hospital for 2 years.

[Marc878]

When I graduated Accounting/finance. I sent out 100 resumes and landed a job about 1.5 hours from home. I took it just to get experience. I stayed for less than 3 years but it got me started.

 

[d0nnivain]

22 hours ago, gvitesse said:

Despite graduating with a Master's in IT, a hospital for 2 years.

The whole world went virtual & there is so much strain on various IT systems these days.  I find it very hard to believe that you can't get an IT job with a masters in these times.  

When you are not working your 2nd FULL TIME JOB needs to be sending out resumes both where you are & where you are from.  Reach out to the universities where you got both your undergrad & your Master's degree.  Ask for help from their placement departments.   Stop procrastinating.  Set a goal:  tonight I'm going to apply to 5 jobs.  Do that every day.  Next week make it 7 jobs per day.  

[La.Primavera]

I'm not sure if this a case of self sabotage or depression, but I agree there must be something going on that you need to deal with.  Either way, I think you weren't ready to take the next step, but that's okay.  It sounds like you have been through a lot, yet you have remained productive, held down a job and helped your community.  Those are good things.

You should be very proud of yourself for what you have achieved thus far.  You are more than capable, you excelled!  Are you concerned that once you branch out into your new career that the expectations on you will be higher?  Because the truth is you don't need to put that kind of pressure on yourself.  You can take it in stages.  Maybe consider something part time in IT to begin, if that helps?

It might also be a good idea to speak to someone (ie: a therapist) about your fears and help prepare yourself for change.  This new career may not be as overwhelming as you think, but it might help if you felt a bit more prepared.

There is no one right way of living your life.  It can be whatever you want it to be.  You are 28.  The world is your oyster.

I wish you all the best, whatever you decide.

[ShyViolet]

On 2/21/2021 at 5:31 PM, gvitesse said:

I never put any effort into finding my desired job. It has been a year since I graduated. Since then I never put any effort into finding the job I studied for so many years.

Why not?  I don't understand this.  You are clearly putting in a lot of effort to maintain the low-skilled jobs that you've taken, working 40-55 hours a week as you say.  You're obviously not lazy.  Not putting effort into finding a job that you went to school for is a choice.  Are you self-sabotaging?

IT seems like a field with a lot of prospects. You need to start looking for jobs in your field IMMEDIATELY and make it a priority.  Consider your job search to be your real job and don't give up till you find something.  If you stay in these menial jobs for too long, it will ruin your resume.  A gap of two years can be explained, you can blame it on covid or something.  But a gap much more than that will be hard to come back from.  In the future people won't want to hire you because you will have a questionable  and undesirable job history.

[Watercolors]

On 2/21/2021 at 4:31 PM, gvitesse said:

I don't know if I'm depressed but I do that I have a lot of issues. I still walk daily, go to work, cook my own food, keep my room clean, that's about it.

TL;DR Time is running out for me, I'm 28 with only 2 years of work experience, a Masters degree, and wasting my time being a cleaner in a hospital for 2 years.

I'm 50 with two masters degrees and I don't have a full-time job but do seasonal work with summers off. Am I happy? Yes. Am I wealthy? No. Do I still apply for full-time jobs? Of course. 

The only control you have, is over the effort you make to take action to change your circumstances. If you want to change your life, then take the steps to do that. Will these changes happen overnight? Nope. Some changes take time and follow-up. 

So, 28 years old is nothing age-wise. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Each person on this planet, is on his/her own journey. At the end of the day, you have to make yourself happy. No one else can do that for you. 

Come up with a plan with action steps. Seek out mentors again to motivate you and steer you in the right direction when you have questions. And, you'll reach your career goal. Eventually. 

Edited February 24, 2021 by Watercolors

[Redwine2021]

What is your desired job?   You have a masters degree in IT, but what do you want to do with it?