ex lied about having a new girlfriend

[GloriaDaisy]

Here I am sitting here feeling the heartbreak all over again like it happened the day he ended it with me. 

We broke up 2.5 months ago, he ended things because we were fighting a lot, is career was his top priority and we were drifting apart. His big reason was he couldnt be there for the the way i needed and wasnt able to give me all his time and energy. But shortly after the break up, he was reaching out a lo...pretty much every day, we ended up going out a few times and in regular contact. I tried to keep my guard up but it was hard when he told me how much he missed me and seemed to want to make it work again....it was obvious he was struggling to let me go too. 

But after a few weeks of this limbo, I tried to get it all out on the table and ask what he wanted. i told him wanted to get back together. but he was unable to clearly communicate , he didnt respond for days, and when he did he said "i dont know what to say, im so confused" .Shortly after that point  i expressed how i couldn't be friends anymore, and needed to move on with my life. 

I would go a few days no talking then reach out, and weave back and forward with removing him from social media but still texting. Ive been struggling to let go. But it seemed like when it was time  to be open, honest and talk about emotions he was unable to. He seemed very uncomfortable about openly talking about relationships or feelings.

Last week,  i creeped his IG story and he made a post about "his babe making him breakfast" ....When i casually asked if he was dating someone new- he said "no i was totally joking, i cant call myself babe now can i"....this seemed strange to me but i believed he was being honest. i mean who lies about that stuff? 

Stupidly, last weekend i was feeling very lonely and I asked how he was doing. He told me work had been extremely difficult for him as his employee stopped showing up for work and he was forced to work 84 hours a week at his store .he expressed how exhausted he was and wanted to cry from the stress. I asked about his dog ( I became extremely attached to the dog) and he said how sorry he felt for the dog because he was stuck inside the store with him 12 hours a day. I told him how i still really cared about him and the dog, and offered to dog sit to help out. He told how much of a help that would be.and appreciated my friendship. I realise  now what a dumb idea this was but i simply was trying to be a good person.  I returned to dog on valentines day evening and he was making up stories as to why hed meet me outside his apartment. I think he saw her that very same day.

after returning the dog i went into no contact and ignored his messages. but a couple days ago I full on discovered he has a new girlfriend, he posted stories of them on dates, and him calling her his girl. I messaged him as polite as i could and just asked "why didnt you just tell me you have a gf? I feel silly for taking the dog, why couldnt she take him for you?" and he wouldnt answer. From that point on I blocked him on everything, deleted his number, threw out all the gifts he gave me and deleted all pictures together.  Looking back, i seriously learned my lesson with - if someone breaks up with you, walk away, heal and dont go down that road of friends or still in communication. I learned my lesson.

At this point, I feel very stunned. the pain ive been going through is nothing ive ever felt in a long long time....I understand people break up and see new people but why would be lie to me? I believe the right thing to do was say "hey you should probably know im dating someone so i understand if talking to me or taking my dog feels uncomfortable for you" I felt it was very wrong to still have me apart of his life if he was dating without my knowledge.

I think a decent person would of been open about that on account we were still in touch, and i was doing favors for him. I wouldn't of ever continued interacting if i knew that. Do i have a right to feel i deserved this? was it none of my business ...so maybe i shouldn't feel betrayed? a big part of me feels i deserved that respect on account of how kind i was to him the entire time i knew him. An honest man would of informed me. did he not want to hurt my feelings? did he want to still keep that connection to me? did he use me? I thought he was a decent person up until this point.

Im also reaching out to people that have been in an experience of their ex dating someone new relatively soon after a break up. i feel like im dealing with the break up all over again and i feel so lost as ive never been in this situation before.  Im just looking for some insight during this difficult time. im trying to take care of myself, seeing friends, going to the gym , talkig to a councellor and even planning on getting a dog of my own.

[d0nnivain]

Alas he did take advantage of your kind nature & willingness to help.  Lesson learned.  Keep happy memories of your time with the dog but otherwise cut him out of your life.  

[tart6245]

This is a lesson on why you can't remain friends with your ex after a breakup. You were kind to him and he took advantage of it. The only reason you should ever talk to an ex is if you both want to get back together. Once he began being vague and dragging your feet, you should have cut ties. Otherwise, you are opening yourself up to this. It's clear he has moved on and is dating someone else. Not only that, he is flaunting it on social media. You can't be there for him anymore.  

From here on, it's best to block him everywhere you can and allow yourself to heal. It will take time. It hurts. It's difficult. But you will be glad you did this months from now. I'm about two months out of a breakup. While the pain is still there, I am also keeping busy, working a lot, talking to friends about everything, and trying my best to internalize that my ex walked out of my life and it's her loss for that. At some point, the fog will clear and you will be ready to open up to someone new. 

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. You dodged a bullet. He lied, possibly cheated and also led you on. Defiantly delete and block him and all his people from all your social media so you can move forward in peace.

[HiCrunchy]

Yes, please block and delete. Sorry, many virtual hugs

[GeorgiaPeach1]

Most people aren't going to go against their own best interests, unfortunately. What is sounds like he was going was keeping you on the back burner, in case his new relationship doesn't work out.

[GloriaDaisy]

thanks everyone. Im feelig way better today in terms of a more relaxed mind set. my head was spinning yesterday. I have blocked him. I cant do the emotional cutting anymore. I got my evidence and that created a closed door for me. I realized if i creep any posts of its it shows im not serious enough about my own healing. the moment i found this out i stopped contact. theres no way i would lower myself to that. I appreciate people talking to me on here, this site is really good for that.