Advice Needed

[Joe]

More than 4 years ago, closer to 5, I met a fantastic girl though a friend. She made me happy, and always felt nothing but love for her. We dated for like 6 months, but never got serious because we were very young (like I was 16 and she was 14).

 

However when we broke up, not to long afterwards she met this guy in which we both knew. He's a complete ass, he is irresponsible and very immature. Well this really hurt me. They continued to be with each other for the next 3 1/2 years or so.

 

He treated her so bad and was so immature and irresponsible and I hated seeing her with him. Well a few months ago they broke it off, in fact they quit talking to each other and he has sinced moved on and she's moved on, still single and not seeing anyone.

 

For one reason or another I always felt that her and I belonged together. We've known each other for 4 1/2 years and we never been in a fight, we've never hated each other, and get along great. On top of that, my parents adore her as well as my brother and they keep telling me they wish her and I was together.

 

We're now older, I'm 20 and she's 18, and I'm still in love with her. She still makes me smile when we talk, she makes me happy when we talk, I love her personality, she is the greatest person in the world. I wish with all my heart her and I could be together.

 

However, I know she doesn't know how I feel because I've never told her because it seems she would probably been uninterested and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. Besides, I've never found a right time to tell her and I don't want to have this conversation over a phone as for I want to be able to see her face as I tell her.

 

Anyway when we was dating, we joked about getting married. Then one day, while dating, we both agreed on Jun 23rd 2001.. which is this Saturday. As stupid as it may sound, and even though it was joking we still talk about it in the past as well as recently.

 

Now maybe I'm retarded, but even though it was a joke for some reason it feels as though June 23rd, this Saturday, would be the best time to take her out to dinner, then go somewhere where I can tell her how I feel. Saturday, June 23 2001 just seems like a special date now and weird that it's now less than a week away.

 

What do you guys think? Should I forget about it? If I was to talk to her, what is the proper way of doing it as to not make her uncomfortable? Or should I just forget it and not do anything?

 

Thanks,

 

Joe

[Janski]

Dear Joe,

 

I think it would be a great idea to do what you have suggested - at least then she will know how you feel and then you will know how she feels. I would suggest taking things slowly as you say she just got out of a bad relationship.

 

You'll never know what she is thinking and feeling if you don't ask.

 

Janski

More than 4 years ago, closer to 5, I met a fantastic girl though a friend. She made me happy, and always felt nothing but love for her. We dated for like 6 months, but never got serious because we were very young (like I was 16 and she was 14). However when we broke up, not to long afterwards she met this guy in which we both knew. He's a complete ass, he is irresponsible and very immature. Well this really hurt me. They continued to be with each other for the next 3 1/2 years or so.

 

He treated her so bad and was so immature and irresponsible and I hated seeing her with him. Well a few months ago they broke it off, in fact they quit talking to each other and he has sinced moved on and she's moved on, still single and not seeing anyone. For one reason or another I always felt that her and I belonged together. We've known each other for 4 1/2 years and we never been in a fight, we've never hated each other, and get along great. On top of that, my parents adore her as well as my brother and they keep telling me they wish her and I was together. We're now older, I'm 20 and she's 18, and I'm still in love with her. She still makes me smile when we talk, she makes me happy when we talk, I love her personality, she is the greatest person in the world. I wish with all my heart her and I could be together. However, I know she doesn't know how I feel because I've never told her because it seems she would probably been uninterested and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. Besides, I've never found a right time to tell her and I don't want to have this conversation over a phone as for I want to be able to see her face as I tell her.

 

Anyway when we was dating, we joked about getting married. Then one day, while dating, we both agreed on Jun 23rd 2001.. which is this Saturday. As stupid as it may sound, and even though it was joking we still talk about it in the past as well as recently. Now maybe I'm retarded, but even though it was a joke for some reason it feels as though June 23rd, this Saturday, would be the best time to take her out to dinner, then go somewhere where I can tell her how I feel. Saturday, June 23 2001 just seems like a special date now and weird that it's now less than a week away. What do you guys think? Should I forget about it? If I was to talk to her, what is the proper way of doing it as to not make her uncomfortable? Or should I just forget it and not do anything?

 

Thanks, Joe

[Tony T]

Absolutely...ask her out to dinner. For this Saturday.

 

I don't think you ought to make it a real mushy evening, though. Don't dwell on the getting married thing you agreed to many years ago unless she brings it up...and then keep it very light for now. She has recently broken up with a guy and she's in no space for such serious considerations.

 

However, this would be an ideal time to get reaquainted with her from a dating standpoint. Instead of pouring your guts out to her about how you feel, though, just have a good time and keep asking her out. After a bit of time, then it would be appropriate to tell her how you feel. She probably already knows.

 

Make sure you take this to a dating level as soon as possible. She may just consider you a friend now so you're going to have to go for holding her hand...and you'll have to give her a kiss on the first or second date. Don't make it a long make out session...just enough of a kiss to show her this isn't a buddy thing.

 

This is a very sensitive situation and I know how much you like this girl. But it wouldn't serve you well by disclosing your intense feelings to her right now. Just start taking her out and go the usual route. She will grow a lot fonder of you if you act cool for a while before you get into that mushy stuff.

 

I'd almost be sure she's not ready for anything too very serious right now and she may even let you know that. Don't be discouraged...just be very cool. And if she did get serious with you immediately, it would be a rebound thing and those don't usually last long.