Honey

[Versacehottie]

Yeah he might be confused since your age range is really open TBH.  You might not mean to come off as someone who is interested in a sugar daddy. but it might read that way to him by being that open to such an age difference. Maybe narrow it a little and if you are open to older guys, leave those for IRL relationships that happen organically (so the guy understands your dimension).

If your range was a little narrower online, it might make it clearer that you want a relationship.

Edited February 24, 2021 by Versacehottie

[mark clemson]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

Britney: So we don't go in circle for pages.

                             🤔

[MsJayne]

Men who call women by pet names are over-familiar and are most often a sexist wally. They call you 'Honey" because that way they don't have to try and remember your name. No, don't cancel, go on the date. Order big, eat like a slob, make sure he pays, go home alone, send him a text saying, 'Thanks Honey'. Then ghost him. 

Edited February 24, 2021 by MsJayne

[Pumpernickel]

2 minutes ago, MsJayne said:

Men who call women by pet names are over-familiar and are most often are a sexist wally. They call you 'Honey" because that way they don't have to try and remember your name. No, don't cancel, go on the date. Order big, eat like a slob, make sure he pays, go home alone, send him a text saying, 'Thanks Honey'. Then ghost him. 

Yes, this! 
 

He sounds like one of those dudes who wants you to call him daddy, and then you’re his daddy’s girl. BTDT. 🤮

[Britney25]

29 minutes ago, MsJayne said:

Men who call women by pet names are over-familiar and are most often a sexist wally. They call you 'Honey" because that way they don't have to try and remember your name. No, don't cancel, go on the date. Order big, eat like a slob, make sure he pays, go home alone, send him a text saying, 'Thanks Honey'. Then ghost him. 

I don't think that will happen now since I texted him I'm looking for a serious date and he texted back ok honey have fun since we wont

[MsJayne]

3 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

I don't think that will happen now since I texted him I'm looking for a serious date and he texted back ok honey have fun since we wont

So, there you go.  Either has Mummy Issues or has a small penis and is very, very angry about it and thinks all women must pay.  Maybe send him a text telling him to make sure he keeps his penis hidden first thing in the morning when birds are out hunting for worms. Then block him before he can answer. 

[Crazelnut]

Dang, Britney. What are you doing? Dating a guy that much older is too big an age gap. Ask yourself this -- why is a successful 50 year old trawling inline for a date?

You really shouldn't need us to tell you if a guy is a d-bag or not. Signs here include: dating a woman way younger, bragging, overly familiar, asks for data on your body, speaks of "having fun." What part of that says "respect" and "serious relationship potential"? How could you miss all these red flags?

[Trail Blazer]

22 minutes ago, MsJayne said:

So, there you go.  Either has Mummy Issues or has a small penis and is very, very angry about it and thinks all women must pay.  Maybe send him a text telling him to make sure he keeps his penis hidden first thing in the morning when birds are out hunting for worms. Then block him before he can answer. 

Or perhaps he just wants to have sex with women in their 20s because he's attracted to their youthful looks and innocence owing to a lack of life experience?  

 

[Datergirl]

Where I live some men call women 'love', here's nothing meant by it at all, in other areas it's 'pet', thats more northern, one guy I work with calls women babe...i had to pull him up in that one though, its inappropriate 😂 

Same as some women call men love or pet, they aren't being sexist, its just how they are 

It's like some guys call each other mate, or buddy, that's all it is...

Although it could also be because he cba remembering your name or a way to categorise people as 'men' and 'women'...

Thing is, if you don't like it it's probably not a good idea to date him 🤷‍♀️

Edited February 24, 2021 by Datergirl

[d0nnivain]

10 hours ago, Britney25 said:

I started talking to this new guy and we havent met yet but we set up a date on Friday. Thing is he called me Honey when texting. He said "ok honey let's have fun" mind you it's a dinner. How the hell can we have fun at dinner? Is this a red flag?

I don't understand why so many alarm bells went off at this. "Fun" could have simply meant a few laughs & a good meal.  It's not always a code word for sex. I'm sure he wouldn't have turned you down but always jumping to the conclusion that sex is all some man wants is not a great start.

From a 50 year old semi-retired lawyer with 3 kids to a 25 year old "honey" comes across as a tad condescending but it could just be his way.  Many people use terms of endearment.  It's not a capital offense.  He may be bad at names

 

9 hours ago, Britney25 said:

Should I ask him what he means by let's have some fun?

Heavens no.

 

9 hours ago, Britney25 said:

Ok thank you. So how do I deny him? Should I ignore his text or cancel the date?  I'm not about ghosting

Apparently he has bailed on things so you are off the hook.  But to answer your Q, if you are not about ghosting ignoring his text is the wrong way to go.   When he asked about your height & for more pictures & you became uncomfortable, the proper response was:

"You already have photos of me.  The fact that you are asking for more coupled with a few other things you have said including calling me 'honey' has caused me to conclude that we're not compatible.  I'm cancelling our date Friday.  I wish you well but I don't think we'll work out."  

Then you be done with him through blocking or ignoring.  Lawyers are generally fine with direct.  They have thick skins. 

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Britney25 said:

I started talking to this new guy and we havent met yet but we set up a date on Friday.  He said "ok honey let's have fun" mind you it's a dinner. How the hell can we have fun at dinner? Is this a red flag? He is 50 and from NYC 

It seems you know what it means and what he wants. Unfortunately he's treating this like and out of town brothel situation. 

[Ami1uwant]

11 hours ago, MsJayne said:

Men who call women by pet names are over-familiar and are most often a sexist wally. They call you 'Honey" because that way they don't have to try and remember your name. No, don't cancel, go on the date. Order big, eat like a slob, make sure he pays, go home alone, send him a text saying, 'Thanks Honey'. Then ghost him. 

Ok honey....

[Britney25]

10 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Or perhaps he just wants to have sex with women in their 20s because he's attracted to their youthful looks and innocence owing to a lack of life experience?  

 

He texted today he doesnt understand what I mean by serious dinner and that he thought we would have fun at dinner and that he thought I date older men. What's up?

[Britney25]

2 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

I don't understand why so many alarm bells went off at this. "Fun" could have simply meant a few laughs & a good meal.  It's not always a code word for sex. I'm sure he wouldn't have turned you down but always jumping to the conclusion that sex is all some man wants is not a great start.

From a 50 year old semi-retired lawyer with 3 kids to a 25 year old "honey" comes across as a tad condescending but it could just be his way.  Many people use terms of endearment.  It's not a capital offense.  He may be bad at names

 

Heavens no.

 

Apparently he has bailed on things so you are off the hook.  But to answer your Q, if you are not about ghosting ignoring his text is the wrong way to go.   When he asked about your height & for more pictures & you became uncomfortable, the proper response was:

"You already have photos of me.  The fact that you are asking for more coupled with a few other things you have said including calling me 'honey' has caused me to conclude that we're not compatible.  I'm cancelling our date Friday.  I wish you well but I don't think we'll work out."  

Then you be done with him through blocking or ignoring.  Lawyers are generally fine with direct.  They have thick skins. 

He texted me today that he doesnt understand what I mean by serious date as he thought we will have fun at dinner and that he thought I date older Men

[Britney25]

12 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

Yeah he might be confused since your age range is really open TBH.  You might not mean to come off as someone who is interested in a sugar daddy. but it might read that way to him by being that open to such an age difference. Maybe narrow it a little and if you are open to older guys, leave those for IRL relationships that happen organically (so the guy understands your dimension).

If your range was a little narrower online, it might make it clearer that you want a relationship.

He texted he doesnt understand what is a serious date and that he thought we could have fun at dinner and that he thought dont I date older men. What's up?

How do I respond

[Britney25]

@Gaeta so he texted me this morning " I dont know what a serious date is, I thought we would have fun at dinner. I thought you date older men? What's up? "

 

How do I respond?

[Crazelnut]

How you respond depends on what you want. WHAT DO YOU WANT, BRITNEY?

[Britney25]

14 minutes ago, Crazelnut said:

How you respond depends on what you want. WHAT DO YOU WANT, BRITNEY?

So either way he sounds dumb? That is my question. If I havent misinterpreted him. 

[Britney25]

15 minutes ago, Crazelnut said:

How you respond depends on what you want. WHAT DO YOU WANT, BRITNEY?

I want serious not fun.

[introverted1]

@Britney25 How old are you?

[Versacehottie]

32 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

He texted he doesnt understand what is a serious date and that he thought we could have fun at dinner and that he thought dont I date older men. What's up?

How do I respond

He's already expressed great "confusion" at how to approach you as well as showed his hand as to what he's after with you.  Including mocking you when you turned him down.

He just can't believe he's blown what he thinks is an easy thing after sleeping on it overnight.   Like I said, he thinks he basically has you on the hook which is easier than starting over with girls who don't reply etc or get fed up with his bulls*t.  He thinks you are an easy mark.  He also knows his "market" in terms of what he can "get" with his pathetic little lines, lack of effort and his own age/looks/ETC.  He was (/is) objectifying you---from which no good relationship will come-- and is just approaching it slightly differently now since you are slithering off the hook. His intentions and motivations are the same.

Don't respond. Block.

[HiCrunchy]

10 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

@Britney25 How old are you?

She is 25

[HiCrunchy]

If u wanna date older men, have at it but I recommend someone closer in age, about 30 - 35ish. They will take u more seriously for a relationship and u can have the sexy older man that ur attracted to. 

 

50 year old guys with age gaps  big aren't looking for anything serious with a 25 year old. They will get bored of u once ur youth goes away. They are chasing looks, not love

Edited February 24, 2021 by HiCrunchy

[d0nnivain]

24 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

He texted he doesnt understand what is a serious date and that he thought we could have fun at dinner and that he thought dont I date older men. What's up?

How do I respond

 He wants a fun light-hearted date with some laughs.   He may think you want a "serious" date where in the "old days" when the world was open you'd attend some dry scholarly lecture & then have a debate about it.   He also may recognize that you are trying to say you don't want to be trifled with while he wants NSA sex / FWB.  

If by serious you are looking for a committed relationship, it's a bit soon to nail any guy down on that.  You have to go on the 1st date to find out if somebody is worth continuing on with but that analysis takes place in person.  

If he's looking for casual only then you already know you are incompatible.  

So if you want to go out with him, I'd respond along the lines of 

Sorry this seems to have gotten so convoluted.  But let me try to be clear.  I do like older respectful men.  I am dating with an eye toward finding the right person to build something with.  When you said let's "have  fun" & called me "honey" I started to question your motives in dating me.  Now it's  your turn to tell me what you are looking for so we can make sure we're not wasting each other's time. 

As somebody else suggested you may be better off closing the age gap a bit.  At best a 50 year old wants a sugar baby not somebody he has to work to sustain a relationship with.  He's not looking for an equal.  

If you are already fed up your response should be more like: 

Things shouldn't be this difficult before we even meet.  I'm getting the sense that we want different things so I'm going to bow out.  Best of luck in your search.  

Then block him & move along.  If you don't block, he will reply & try to convince you that it will be OK.  You will cave & go on the date.  Then you will be even more upset.  

[smackie9]

Go on the date, but keep sex off the table and see what happens. He can't make you have sex or anything else...you are of free will and can think for yourself. Don't make things so difficult, it's not worth your energy. You are an adult woman, take control and go. if it doesn't work out to your expectations, at least you had a nice evening out and a free meal. Not bad I say.

Edited February 24, 2021 by smackie9