She slept with my best friend...and tried to hide it

[totally_confused22]

Ok here is the situation I had been dating this girl for about 3 months and because I work near here we were not "bf/gf" but did everthing together all of our time was spent together, we slept together we ate together EVERYTHING. Well my best friend who I rarely get to see a guy I thought I completly knew came into town and we all went to the bowling ally together with some other friends. Well while I was at the ally I told her that I wasn't going to stay with her that night and that I was going to hang with my friend a guy that I would have called my brother. Well at the end of the night we dropped her off and then we went back to my house it was late and he decided he was going to go back to his home town 1.5 hours away so he left and I thought nothing of it. Well he ended up going back over to her house and they slept together. I am encredibly pissed what should I do how do I address them

[Bryanp]

I would tell the best friend that he is a total a**h*** and tell him you want nothing to do with him. I would tell you lady friend goodbye. It is clear that you can never trust her and she knew it would be a double betrayal to you. You deserve better so drop them immediately and look for better friends and certainly a better potential girlfriend. I am sorry but of them are such sleeze bags.

[totally_confused22]

ok i was in a rush earlier heres the rest of the story. I found out and she admitted everything then I confronted him and he lied about it trying to make it sound better, and even still lied to me after I told him I knew everything(i had told him how I felt about her before this happened). I am a very level headed guy and very strong hearted, but I not only got my heart broken it was shattered and pulled from my chest. I found out three days after it had happened (it happened on a thursday and he came back that saturday)I found out on sunday. He actually on his way home gave me a hung and said I love you bro, and we should hang more often. I stayed with the Girl that night. I told the girl that I was falling for her on Saturday the day before I found out. Those three words are very special to me and I ment it when I said I was falling, what do I do. I am completly torn apart and I need to put myself back together. She wants to fix it but is there honestly any way to do it. (Bryanp)

[Bryanp]

I really feel for you. Your male friend is really beyond contempt. He continued to lie to you about screwing your potential girlfriend behind your back and is acting like you are good friends. This guy is such a snake especially since you told him how much you like her. He did this out of contempt for you and trying to see if he could get his good friend's girlfriend into the sack with him. The fact that he would hug you and tells you what a great friend you are says it all. I know these type of guys. They can never and I mean never be trusted. Tell him to shove it up his ass and that you don't need friends who are such backstabbers.

 

Now we come to the girl. I know it is difficult because you care for her but you really need to look at the facts.

1) She was hanging with you and sleeping with you as your relationship progressed.

2) You introduce her to your best friend (now hopefully ex friend) and tell her how much he means to you and you all hung out together.

3) You were supposed to spend the night with her that night but hung with your out of state friend just for that evening only.

4) You friend goes home at the end of the evening and instead goes to your semi-girlfriend and bangs her.

5) She does not even tell you until after you spend the night again with her (which means she put your health at risk for STD's) and you told her you were falling for her.

6) She knew that this guy was your best friend and she had no problems screwing knowing it would be a double betrayal and a knife in your heart.

 

She now wants to fix it but lets be serious here. If she was serious about you at all there would have been no way she sleeps with this guy. She would have called you and told you he came to her place and she wants him to leave instead of having sex with him the first time she even met him.

 

She wants to fix it because he does not leave near and you do. What would make you think she would not be screwing this guy behind your back whenever he comes up to visit her behind your back again? She has proven to you that she cannot be trusted and apparently has no problems humiliating and disrespecting you by screwing your best friend at the time behind your back.

 

Again I know it is hard because your heart is broken but she is not the only girl in the entire world that you can love. You want to give your heart to someone that is loyal and respectful and seriously cares for your well-being which is certainly not this girl. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions speak volume. The bottom line is that if she even remotely cared for you on a serious level she never would have screwed your best friend the first time she meets him behind your back knowing that it would absolutely destroy you. Why would you wish to be with a girl who down deep you know you could never really trust again and would be capable of doing such a thing to you? You would become paranoid and being fearful of ever introducing her to any of your male friends again knowing what she is capable of doing this to you behind your back. A person that could engage in such a double betrayal to you is a person you run away from and not run to.

I wish you luck but there is an old saying which says: The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. You need to think about this.

[Spectre]

ok i was in a rush earlier heres the rest of the story. I found out and she admitted everything then I confronted him and he lied about it trying to make it sound better, and even still lied to me after I told him I knew everything(i had told him how I felt about her before this happened). I am a very level headed guy and very strong hearted, but I not only got my heart broken it was shattered and pulled from my chest. I found out three days after it had happened (it happened on a thursday and he came back that saturday)I found out on sunday. He actually on his way home gave me a hung and said I love you bro, and we should hang more often. I stayed with the Girl that night. I told the girl that I was falling for her on Saturday the day before I found out. Those three words are very special to me and I ment it when I said I was falling, what do I do. I am completly torn apart and I need to put myself back together. She wants to fix it but is there honestly any way to do it. (Bryanp)

 

 

Dude, dont forgive her and sure as heck dont give her another chance, she's trash..I know you might care for her..but you need to learn something I had to learn: let the hoes go

 

she might be a great girl, but it doesnt change the fact that..as I said..shes a hoe, not only was she sleeping with someone behind her back(and probably also trying to hide behind the fact that u werent "official") she does it with your best friend..if this girl needs someone to point out to her that you arent supposed to do that? I can point you to monkeys with a higher IQ, Also it seems like shes trying to get back with you: be prepared for some of the most retarded excuses youre ever gonna hear..and for her to plea with you and possibly even throw out an "i love you i made a horrible mistake" every once in a while, and oh yes..she'll cry, they all do..but dont fall for it, call her a hoe and go about your business, nothing she says can be trusted, dont believe she'll change, she should not have to hump some guy to change, just let her go

[BadBadGirl]

 

not only was she sleeping with someone behind her back(and probably also trying to hide behind the fact that u werent "official") she does it with your best friend..

 

i don't think that it's necessarily "hiding behind the fact that they weren't official" because it's true. there was no commitment. when you're dating and there's no commitment, you can sleep with whoever you want, even if it seems wrong to someone else.

 

unfortunately, she picked the best friend of the person she was dating. not a good idea, but not illegal.

 

it's your "best friend" that you should have the biggest problem with. if anyone should have shown any kind of loyalty, it was him.

 

i say drop them both. you don't want a commitment with this girl, and your best friend needs to seriously take a look at his ideals and his own views on friendship. forgiveness is good, but geez...it's going to be difficult in this case, i think.

[Cecelius]

Isn't she pretty much just a 'ho? Why bother getting upset about it? It's not a question of whether it was cheating, it's a question of whether you want to date a girl like that. I say walk away.

[ICS]

Who is to say that his girlfriend wasn't the one who was lying? i.e.: Maybe she wants to leave him and go for his best friend instead, and carefully created this scenario. You have known this girl for 3 months and your best friend for longer obviously. Tell me who you really trust more? Who is the more predicatble of the two? Give it some thinking, it's a possibility. Plus.. doesn't something seem out of place? I would not think that your girlfriend of 3 months is that emotionally open about something so drastic. There is probably alot more behind the scenes than what you know about.

 

good luck

[totally_confused22]

Well I am back and feeling a little better. I have been talking to her and I am going to give her a chance. I believe her when she says that she is truly sorry. I don't know what you guys will say but... I guess I really wish you could meet this girl, she has been thru HELL, I have made it very obvious what I feel and she has not once questioned it. Ithink that she is at least worth a chance. We are getting along really well.

[Devildog]

I guess I really wish you could meet this girl, she has been thru HELL

 

Very few people get sucked into hell, most choose that path. A woman that sleeps with her psuedo-boyfriend's best friend a few hours after meeting him, she has a tour map of hell. She has most likely created the hell she has gone through.

[Cecelius]

Why are you still into this girl, honestly? She gave it up to your best friend a few hours after meeting him. How is that not a huge turn-off?

 

It's not that she's evil, it's that she's just kind of ... available to whomever seems to wander by.

 

This was the red flag of all red flags. I think you are overlooking it to your detriment.

[Bryanp]

I wish you luck but come on and open your eyes. What possible reason could she give for having sex with your best friend behind your back a couple of hours after meeting him and keeping it secret? How totally humiliating and disrespectful to you. I bet your best friend will try to see her again behind your back . How can you be proud that she is your girlfriend? What was she thinking? What are you thinking? I wish you luck because you will need it.