lonelyplanetmoon Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 Do what you will. Just hope you don’t regret after. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 What’s the point? Why would you want someone of her low moral character back? She dropped you for her OM. Like everyone told you from the beginning. If he’s married you should inform his wife but other than that I’d stay NC. Hopefully everything you’ve been told makes sense now. Why waste more time on her? Get her stuff out ASAP. Once that’s completed send her the info you found, block her on everything and tell her never to contact you again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tyb Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 8 minutes ago, lonelyplanetmoon said: Do not do anything. You are swirling now. Get yourself together. Keep NC. If you truly loved her you would want her to be happy and accept that it is her journey to make. However she gets there is for her to decide. You do not need to judge. How can I love someone who does that to me? 5 years and she takes the bait on a guy that just wants some ***. The ultimate betrayal. I can never trust her again. She works with him daily. I must burn the bridge. I told her to call me tonight. She said “I am afraid to call you”. Wonder why? Hmm. Cuz she knows what she did. I thought she was better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tyb Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 2 minutes ago, Marc878 said: What’s the point? Why would you want someone of her low moral character back? She dropped you for her OM. Like everyone told you from the beginning. If he’s married you should inform his wife but other than that I’d stay NC. Hopefully everything you’ve been told makes sense now. Why waste more time on her? Get her stuff out ASAP. Once that’s completed send her the info you found, block her on everything and tell her never to contact you again. Marc, my man. I should’ve listened to you all along. What would you do? Call her right? I’ve already set that up. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 11 minutes ago, lonelyplanetmoon said: Do not do anything. You are swirling now. Get yourself together. Keep NC. If you truly loved her you would want her to be happy and accept that it is her journey to make. However she gets there is for her to decide. You do not need to judge. I agree to never do anything in panic or haste. However, they were in a relationship for 5 years. She dumped him for another man and blamed him for it. He has every right to judge her actions. Cheating liars should not be judged? Where’s that written? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tyb Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 Btw, he’s recently divorced and likes em young. What do you know. Smh. Waste of time Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, tyb said: How can I love someone who does that to me? 5 years and she takes the bait on a guy that just wants some ***. The ultimate betrayal. I can never trust her again. She works with him daily. I must burn the bridge. I told her to call me tonight. She said “I am afraid to call you”. Wonder why? Hmm. Cuz she knows what she did. I thought she was better than that. Your were very naive. Never trust anyone 100%. You blinded yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, tyb said: Marc, my man. I should’ve listened to you all along. What would you do? Call her right? I’ve already set that up. No. You’re in panic mode. Calm down and handle this as rationally as possible. Think it through. Right now your emotions are all over the place. Get her stuff out of your place in a calm rational manner. Talking is gonna get you what? Expect her to lie about everything as she’s been doing all along You cant fix this. Exit ASAP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 hour ago, lonelyplanetmoon said: I think you are missing an important point that everyone is trying to tell you in so many ways. When a person, especially an insecure woman, gets to the point of having the strength to break up. They will have wrestled with themselves and the decision for months or years. It is rarely an overnight decision. So that by the time they exit. It is pretty much over in their minds and heart. But this does not mean they don’t have doubts or guilt. And this is why they stay in contact to wean you out of their life. Each time you give them what they want with contact they drift further away until one day the can cut the cord. And you will be left at square one. How do I know this? I’ve been there on both sides of the coin. And I’ve read so many threads on here where this transpires. Moot point. She’s your typical lying cheater. Nothing special here at all. Dime a dozen 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tyb Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, Marc878 said: No. You’re in panic mode. Calm down and handle this as rationally as possible. Think it through. Right now your emotions are all over the place. Get her stuff out of your place in a calm rational manner. Talking is gonna get you what? Expect her to lie about everything as she’s been doing all along You cant fix this. Exit ASAP. She needs to explain. She was high moral until now. Should I not confront her? Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 5 minutes ago, tyb said: She needs to explain. She was high moral until now. Should I not confront her? Explain what? You probably never saw the true her. I guarantee you this didn’t just happen. Don’t waste your time. LET HER GO Shes already left anyway. All you’ll do now is reset the clock back to zero and get what out of it? Nothing. If it were me I’d send her the info you found and ask her to remove her stuff ASAP. Maybe say it would be better if your parents or family picked up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, tyb said: She needs to explain. She was high moral until now. Should I not confront her? No she doesn't need to explain. As your ex, she no longer has to answer to you. And besides, what good can come of this? You did the wrong thing by neglecting her for so long. She did the wrong thing by not dumping you earlier when her needs weren't being met and later, by allowing another man's interest. Arguing after it's all over serves no point. Edited March 2, 2021 by basil67 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tyb Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 3 minutes ago, Marc878 said: Explain what? You probably never saw the true her. I guarantee you this didn’t just happen. Don’t waste your time. LET HER GO Shes already left anyway. All you’ll do now is reset the clock back to zero and get what out of it? Nothing. If it were me I’d send her the info you found and ask her to remove her stuff ASAP. Maybe say it would be better if your parents or family picked up. I feel Iike I need to hear her pay for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 15 minutes ago, tyb said: She needs to explain. She was high moral until now. Should I not confront her? No. You don't have to confront her. The relationship is over. How about sitting on this information for now and thinking about it? How about allowing it to open your eyes to what else you hadn't noticed about her? You don't have to take action all the time. Sometimes it is far better to observe and reflect. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, tyb said: I feel Iike I need to hear her pay for it. Chances are she will defend herself and be mad at you for spying on her words. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: No she doesn't need to explain. As your ex, she no longer has to answer to you. And besides, what good can come of this? You did the wrong thing by neglecting her for so long. She did the wrong thing by not dumping you earlier when her needs weren't being met and later, by allowing another man's interest. Arguing after it's all over serves no point. Typical cheaters lie, hide and deny. She’s put this all on him to justify her unjustifiable actions. This scenario plays out all the time and it’s not gender specific. Blame-shifting is when a person does something wrong or inappropriate, and then dumps the blame on someone else to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: Chances are she will defend herself and be mad at you for spying on her words. Yep, you interfered with her privacy to cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) 11 minutes ago, tyb said: I feel Iike I need to hear her pay for it. You haven’t listened before. Maybe it’s time you did. Actions speak a lot louder than words. Stay no contact. Edited March 2, 2021 by Marc878 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 In the future if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it’s probably not a zebra. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 5 minutes ago, Marc878 said: Yep, you interfered with her privacy to cheat. Are you suggesting that she won't try to mow him down with her own view? Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 18 minutes ago, tyb said: I feel Iike I need to hear her pay for it. Make her "pay for it" by living well. You getting angry is just going to make her feel justified in what she did. I've been railing on her this entire thread, but you do admit that you did things to turn her off. So you had a hand in this too. Take some responsibility. Women don't stay with you because they love you. They stay with you because you make them feel good. You probably stopped dating her, stopped making her feel sexy, you admitted you took her for granted. Most women are eventually going to get fed up with that. Doesn't excuse her having an emotional affair but you have to realize that you could've been a better boyfriend too. So this is over. No need to confront her, it will do nothing but make you seem petty. Just time to move on and learn from mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Are you suggesting that she won't try to mow him down with her own view? Nope. They were living together 5 years in a committed relationship. These things all follow the same script. Lie, Blame shift, make excuses as to why it’s never their fault, etc. Lets be friends. If caught the old stand by “you invaded my privacy to cheat”. There are no excuses. You do the right thing or you don’t. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: Make her "pay for it" by living well. You getting angry is just going to make her feel justified in what she did. I've been railing on her this entire thread, but you do admit that you did things to turn her off. So you had a hand in this too. Take some responsibility. Women don't stay with you because they love you. They stay with you because you make them feel good. You probably stopped dating her, stopped making her feel sexy, you admitted you took her for granted. Most women are eventually going to get fed up with that. Doesn't excuse her having an emotional affair but you have to realize that you could've been a better boyfriend too. So this is over. No need to confront her, it will do nothing but make you seem petty. Just time to move on and learn from mistakes. Sorry but he didn’t make her cheat. That’s a decision/choice she made. Its probably a sexual affair. Everyone loves to say EA but they don’t jump ship like this over just an emotional attachment Blame-shifting is when a person does something wrong or inappropriate, and then dumps the blame on someone else to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior. Edited March 2, 2021 by Marc878 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 My sister was a wayward. I have 3 close friends that ended up divorced from infidelity. The basic script is always the same. OP you didn’t lose much. Get on with your life and stop wasting your time on this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 10 minutes ago, Marc878 said: Nope. They were living together 5 years in a committed relationship. These things all follow the same script. Lie, Blame shift, make excuses as to why it’s never their fault, etc. Lets be friends. If caught the old stand by “you invaded my privacy to cheat”. There are no excuses. You do the right thing or you don’t. I'm not sure why you're writing this to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts