He is extremely selfish and self serving and does nothing wrong

[Lotsgoingon]

Yes, blaming all the exes is a sure red flag. After all, the best among us has done dumb, stupid, mean things in relationship. Heck, just getting in the relationship with "bad ex" means something is wrong, because you chose to get in the relationship. 

You are now paying for being passive. It really should not have come to this point. If you're worried about violence, you can also consult a domestic violence center. You want to google to find centers that counsel people on separating from potentially violent partners. There is a lot of wisdom out there that a lot of folks don't know about, wisdom about the best ways to leave when you're dealing with an abuser or a potential abuser. So police are not the only option. You can strategize right now. You could also go to a really good relationship counselor and meet a few times to get another brain working on your issue.

Next time, you gotta object and end things early on--as soon as the bad behavior shows one time. You really have to confront people then and there. If they are quality people, they will respond constructively. So you won't be running people off by confronting them early on. 

 

[springlove28]

Update: First I want to thank everyone for the support and advise. I dont EVER tell people (my friends or family) issues Iay have in relationships. I am a believer that should stay in your house. So to just talk about this has been more help then I ever thought. 

I took the advise and have taken action/non-action. This time I did not react. Like Wiseman2 said, I have removed the emotions, but made sure I am not being passive aggressive. He seems very happy and thinks everything is fixed.. It's like he believes he broke me and now I am just going let him do whatever and not going to complain. Kind of like I have become "compliant". I look at him like a roommate now....a roommate that I have filed eviction papers on today. He does not know it and I am just going to let them serve him and then he will be on his way out. I dobt want to fix anything and no longer worried about what will happen to him . I am almost excited. No more hostage situation here!  

Will update as things progress. 

Thank you, this has saved me. 

[basil67]

Thank you for coming back with a followup springlove. You've made a great start.   Please don't hesitate to reach out for support if he starts being problematic.

[Alvi]

Wow, this no way to live. This guy is a gaslighter. So, what is the update? Did you serve him the eviction papers? How did he take it?

On 3/5/2021 at 7:07 PM, springlove28 said:

I dont EVER tell people (my friends or family) issues Iay have in relationships. I am a believer that should stay in your house. So to just talk about this has been more help then I ever thought. 

I understand how you feel but  you do need to rely on other people sometimes. You do need to let someone you trust know what are you going though. A trusted relative or a friend. Perhaps, if you haven't done so, they could help you serve him the evection papers. Might be safer if someone could stay in your house till he leaves.

[Wiseman2]

On 3/5/2021 at 9:07 PM, springlove28 said:

 I look at him like a roommate now....a roommate that I have filed eviction papers on today. He does not know it and I am just going to let them serve him and then he will be on his way out. 

Fantastic. You'll be much happier with him out.

You're going about it in a resolute way that he can't obstruct or undermine.