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Painful breakup- feel like I've been used


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Hi All, Having a very difficult time of it at the moment. Been involved in a messy breakup. Was a 4 year relationship which was long distance (75 minute drive) We officially broke up 6 months ago. A main reason was due to be unable to see each other with the new Covid restrictions. However we have kept in contact first just by text and then a long phone call every day. We ended up going on holiday together in October, we had a great time but nothing was decided about getting back together officially. After She had just taken a new job which she meant she had a long commute so she would call me everyday on her drive home I think for company. Some times these calls would go on for over 2 hours.  I told her I still loved her and wanted to get back together she kept saying it’s a possibility but let’s see when this latest lockdown ends. So she continues to call me everyday until I get a phone call on Thursday telling me sorry I’m going on a date with someone else on Saturday. Naturally I am crushed, I feel like she has used me, someone to keep her company until someone else came along. She knew I still loved her and was hoping to get back together but she continued to call. I feel like She dangled the possibility of us getting back together officially. I had suspicions 2 weeks ago that she might be speaking to someone else and asked her, she accused me of being paranoid and guilt tripped me, I even sent her flowers as an apology as she suggested. Turns out I was completely right. Also had to deal with the pain on Saturday of knowing she was out with another guy. I’ve been in a terrible way since Thursday, not really sleeping or eating. Obviously I miss her loads but she has hurt me bad, we’ve had NC since Friday. I’m annoyed with myself that I still want to be with her even after she has hurt me this way. Any advice would be appreciated because the pain is so intense right now :(

Edited by Chris1407
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LivingWaterPlease

Stay no contact with her. Cut your losses. She's treated you very poorly and you can't let her back into your life. She's a user and she gaslighted you when you had suspicions two weeks ago she may be talking with someone else.

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I agree that she used you for company on her long drive.  Now you need to be fully done.  NC is your best bet

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TeddyBundy1993

Yes I agree too.  She seems one of those people who always need to be in a relationship or so, in short can't handle loneliness. Well in long run you'll see you dodged a bullet. For now stop communicating if at all shes texting you. I know man its so hard to feel used just to know you were nothing but a time pass till she finds someone else. Grieve for a while since you are hurt buddy, you'll find someone else. Life is not over yet. Now focus on Moving on like she has. 

Good luck mate

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Absolutely you were right to feel used. Because you were used. And pretty callously. Whatever you do man stay no contact. Not even a hint or a whiff of contact. Until or unless she comes back sobbing and lays prostrate at your feet begging you for forgiveness and asking to date again you should under no circumstances talk to her. 

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