ander_1 Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 Help please!!! 2 months ago I started talking to a guy online and we hit it off right away. With lockdown we have been unable to meet up but we have constantly spoke about finally meeting up, all the things we will be able to do together, he has spoken about us being a couple, we have had virtual dates (movie nights, zoom, phone calls) and he sent me flowers for Valentine’s Day!! I feel like things were going well and we liked each other as much as you can without actually meeting someone. for about a week now I feel like things have been off - he takes longer to reply, all conversation about the future has stopped, he has stopped being affectionate and attentive with me and it just feels like he is no longer interested. I brought this up with him and told him I felt like he wasn’t bothered about me anymore and if he wanted to continue talking until lockdown ends and he replied that he just hasn’t felt himself since the news of the UK lockdown extending. I said his behaviour had upset me a little and he said maybe it wasn’t a good idea to continue with this if I was “getting upset over something that hadn’t even properly started yet” - I replied that I would’ve wanted to continue but it couldn’t be a one sided thing. He said lockdown had just been hard but he wanted to keep going with me - this confused me as 2 minutes previous he said it wasn’t a good idea!! We moved on from this but things still feel off and I just can’t shake the feeling - why would he say he wanted to keep talking to me but still act like he doesn’t want to? I like this guy and when things were good with us I could see us hitting it off in person too but I don’t want to waste my time if he is going to ditch me! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 1 hour ago, ander_1 said: why would he say he wanted to keep talking to me but still act like he doesn’t want to? Your gut is telling you something is wrong. After a strong start, he's telling you that you're too invested in a relationship which hasn't started yet. I would guess that he's talking with someone else and is more engaged with her, but is keeping you on the hook just in case. But it is only a guess. The most important thing with all of this is not to put the decision of whether or not to continue on him. This is your life, so you get to make the decision. You're unhappy with things, and he's changed and isn't doing anything to reassure you. It's only two months and you've never met....why not just write him off? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ander_1 Posted March 1, 2021 Author Share Posted March 1, 2021 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: Your gut is telling you something is wrong. After a strong start, he's telling you that you're too invested in a relationship which hasn't started yet. I would guess that he's talking with someone else and is more engaged with her, but is keeping you on the hook just in case. But it is only a guess. The most important thing with all of this is not to put the decision of whether or not to continue on him. This is your life, so you get to make the decision. You're unhappy with things, and he's changed and isn't doing anything to reassure you. It's only two months and you've never met....why not just write him off? Thank you! I think I needed to hear this. I think I’ve became too invested because of how strong things started out and now it’s fizzled out. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 (edited) I'm glad it helped. Honestly, it sounds like you've got nothing to lose. And if you want to avoid the discussion about ending it, just mirror his own behaviour. It will end soon enough. Edited March 1, 2021 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 Yes, it sounds like he's losing interest. This is why it's so important to keep perspective and not over-invest in a stranger. Unless and until you meet in person, you really don't know who the person truly is and how honest they're being with you in their intentions. And I have to agree with Basil; I imagine he's distracted by someone else now, unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 It does sound like he's getting tired of this long distance thing. You allowed yourself to become too invested in someone you have never met. It's better to date locally. Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 How far are you guys from each other? Have you said you like each other? Has there been any flirting? What have the texts been like? Daily? Link to post Share on other sites
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