Adcharles93 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago but we’ve been talking and hanging out trying to work things out. We still love each other but the other day he found a message on my tinder dating from when we were together and living together. I never sent the message nor did I have tinder at the time. I deleted the app when we got together and am as confused about the message as him. Now he thinks I cheated on him which I never would. He is the love of my life and I would never jeopardize our relationship like that. He doesn’t believe that I didn’t send it. How do I prove I didn’t do it when there’s a time stamp Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 He may be looking for a reason to leave, so he is using this message as his "out" to remove himself from the "re-kindled" relationship. If he doesn't want to let this go and keeps bringing it up, then its time for you to leave. What was the reason for the breakup 2 months ago?? Has the original issue been resolved?? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 Why was he in your Tinder going through your messages? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 9 hours ago, Adcharles93 said: How do I prove I didn’t do it when there’s a time stamp I don't know anything about the technical aspects of how this would happen, but if the tables were turned, wouldn't you have a hard time believing him if he said he didn't send it? 27 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Why was he in your Tinder going through your messages? Good question. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, Adcharles93 said: My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months. other day he found a message on my tinder dating from when we were together and living together. Sorry this happened. How long were you dating? How long did you live together? Why did you break up? If you moved out and ended it, it's odd you are still even hanging out no less going through each other's accounts, phones, etc. no? He seems a bit possessive controlling and jealous. Is that why you escaped this situation in the first place? Edited March 2, 2021 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 9 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: He may be looking for a reason to leave, so he is using this message as his "out" to remove himself from the "re-kindled" relationship. This smh ... people amaze me sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 hour ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: This smh ... people amaze me sometimes Yes... sometimes people want out of a relationship, but don't want to be the "bad guy" that ended it. So they look for an "out" to "save face" with family or friends. It makes them look better and they can play the victim card. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) Oh I totally get it. I’ve done some really shady thing just to not to be the bad guy. However, we’re guessing he framed her by making a her tinder, matching guys, messaging them and then pretending like he caught her doing that? That’s just a bridge too far ... Edited March 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Saorla Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 12 hours ago, Adcharles93 said: My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago but we’ve been talking and hanging out trying to work things out. We still love each other but the other day he found a message on my tinder dating from when we were together and living together. I never sent the message nor did I have tinder at the time. I deleted the app when we got together and am as confused about the message as him. Now he thinks I cheated on him which I never would. He is the love of my life and I would never jeopardize our relationship like that. He doesn’t believe that I didn’t send it. How do I prove I didn’t do it when there’s a time stamp Did he take your phone, installed Tinder, activated your old profile again (if it wasn´t deleted) and saw a message sent to you by someone else? Huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 Oh that’s a good point. If you just deleted the app, if you download it again everything will still be on there. But messages are time stamped so that would be pretty easy to prove Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adcharles93 Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 So we broke up because 2020 we were together 24/7 and my mental health got in a rough spot and he felt he couldn’t get through to me. We are best friends we still love each other and both have things to work on to work together. I showed him my tinder because I knew I had nothing to hide on there. We were together for 2 years living together for over 1. The time stamp on the message doesn’t make any sense to me because when we got together I deleted my profile and the app and haven’t had it in 2 years and the time stamp was at the end of 2019 when we were living together. I would never ever do something like this to him I’ve been in love with him since the night we met. Link to post Share on other sites
Saorla Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 26 minutes ago, Adcharles93 said: So we broke up because 2020 we were together 24/7 and my mental health got in a rough spot and he felt he couldn’t get through to me. We are best friends we still love each other and both have things to work on to work together. I showed him my tinder because I knew I had nothing to hide on there. We were together for 2 years living together for over 1. The time stamp on the message doesn’t make any sense to me because when we got together I deleted my profile and the app and haven’t had it in 2 years and the time stamp was at the end of 2019 when we were living together. I would never ever do something like this to him I’ve been in love with him since the night we met. So one message from a stranger on an old profile without any followup messages from your side is enough to convince him you cheated? Some best friend you have... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adcharles93 Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 The thing is I know for a fact I didn’t send it. The time was 5 something in the morning on a work morning and I was still sleeping in bed next to him when the time was. I didn’t have to work till 8:30 so I was never up before 6:30. I just don’t understand how a time stamp can be there at that time and day if I didn’t even have a profile at the time Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) So you broke up, you talk about getting back together, you volunteer to show him your Tinder profile and there's a message there from 2019? And he thinks it makes sense that you'd just show him evidence (or suggestions) of your cheating if you were trying to get back together? This situation doesn't make sense. Did you ever log into the app on another device? Someone with access to it might have accidentally been logged in. If you're really curious you should be able to contact their customer support and get detailed evidence about this session: what device ID logged in, at what time, etc. And your phone provider may be able to tell you whether your phone was technically even active at the time the message was sent. Regardless of how it happened, if I was showing my husband an account on a dating site to prove I'd been faithful, I wouldn't leave evidence there. And one message to a stranger, however worrisome, is not proof of cheating and is certainly not something I'd abandon a long-term relationship over. I think he's just not interested in resuming this. Edited March 2, 2021 by lana-banana Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 17 hours ago, Adcharles93 said: the other day he found a message on my tinder dating from when we were together and living together. Aside from the question as to the veracity of the message, what reason did he give for looking at your Tinder history? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 3 hours ago, Adcharles93 said: I showed him my tinder because I knew I had nothing to hide on there. But the question is why did you show it to him? Did he request to see it? Was he accusing you of something and you meant to show him there was no history on Tinder? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adcharles93 Posted March 3, 2021 Author Share Posted March 3, 2021 Since we are broken up and I redownloaded it he thought that I was actively using it which I’m not the type of girl to meet guys off a dating app just thought it was fun. He said I probably have a ton new matches on it so to prove to him I didn’t I showed it to him and that’s when he went through past messages from years ago. I was even shocked myself at the time stamp from the message he saw. I truly had nothing to hide Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adcharles93 Posted March 3, 2021 Author Share Posted March 3, 2021 5 hours ago, lana-banana said: So you broke up, you talk about getting back together, you volunteer to show him your Tinder profile and there's a message there from 2019? And he thinks it makes sense that you'd just show him evidence (or suggestions) of your cheating if you were trying to get back together? This situation doesn't make sense. Did you ever log into the app on another device? Someone with access to it might have accidentally been logged in. If you're really curious you should be able to contact their customer support and get detailed evidence about this session: what device ID logged in, at what time, etc. And your phone provider may be able to tell you whether your phone was technically even active at the time the message was sent. Regardless of how it happened, if I was showing my husband an account on a dating site to prove I'd been faithful, I wouldn't leave evidence there. And one message to a stranger, however worrisome, is not proof of cheating and is certainly not something I'd abandon a long-term relationship over. I think he's just not interested in resuming this. He wanted to work things out. We both agreed with our break up that we have to work on ourselves right now. I’m not sure how to contact them. All I know is I didn’t have the app on my phone since the beginning of that year when we made it official. I had some friends that had access to it Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 3, 2021 Share Posted March 3, 2021 6 hours ago, lana-banana said: I think he's just not interested in resuming this. 100% Agree... As for the OP, I'd be done attempting to explain this. If he still wants to dwell on it, time for her to end the relationship (once and for all). NEXT!! If I had to show my phone or my computer records to my girlfriend to prove my loyalty, I'd be gone in a flash. I don't touch her phone and she doesn't touch mine. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted March 3, 2021 Share Posted March 3, 2021 28 minutes ago, Adcharles93 said: I had some friends that had access to it This is your answer. One of your friends sent it, probably without realizing they were logged in as you. Tell your ex that and have your friends confirm they had access. (But why would your friends have access...? Is that how kids these days roll?) Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted March 3, 2021 Share Posted March 3, 2021 (edited) You sent it while you were drunk and you forgot! or your friends did it.. Now is he gonna leave you for one message or not.. Who knows! Why are you trying to prove anything. this relationship is gone Edited March 3, 2021 by Noproblem Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 3, 2021 Share Posted March 3, 2021 3 hours ago, Adcharles93 said: I had some friends that had access to it You sure know how to bury the lead... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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