What am I doing wrong???

[Harley95]

Hi,

 

I have been dating this woman for approximately 5 months. Everything is great. We recently returned from a week vacation with friends and had a good time. I feel like something is wrong, and am probably fabricating this in my head. I have this problem with accepting good things into my life while I make others lives great. The other night she told me that I was overthinking, and that could ruin everything. We have been going with the flow and letting things happen and enjoying the ride. However I am allowing my mind to run astray. She tells me that she loves me, but something just feels different. Can't tell what it is. Maybe we are settling into a more comfortable feeling with each other. I would greatly appreciate some advice before I end up confusing myself. Thanks

[Ed]

Sounds like the honeymoon is over.

 

You may be, as you said, at the point where things are becoming routine, predictable and a bit less spontaneous. This is the course of most relationships. It's at this point when you find out if this relationship has what it takes to make it through the normal rigors of everyday life. That doesn't mean you will be bored to tears for the rest of your life.

 

She is right, you may be ruining it, at least for her. But for you, maybe it needs to be ruined. If there is not enough to your relationship to keep you actively interested and involved, it will become a relic of the past.

 

It is not necessarily her fault you have become discontent. Don't expect her to entertain you for the rest of your life. What you are going through may reoccur again and again in future relationships. The real question you should be asking is not whether you can make it past this point in a relationship, but do you want to!

[Harley95]

I would not say that I am discontent. I would have to say a bit nervous. I felt the adjustment didn't flow right...maybe because I was watching too closely. I definitley want to make it past this point. We spent the entire week together out on my Harley with the other couples riding all over New Hampshire. Past relationships weened me into seeing that the "honeymoon" being over. I just want to make it work. I am probably trying to fix something that isn't even broken. Thank you for your advice.

Sounds like the honeymoon is over. You may be, as you said, at the point where things are becoming routine, predictable and a bit less spontaneous. This is the course of most relationships. It's at this point when you find out if this relationship has what it takes to make it through the normal rigors of everyday life. That doesn't mean you will be bored to tears for the rest of your life. She is right, you may be ruining it, at least for her. But for you, maybe it needs to be ruined. If there is not enough to your relationship to keep you actively interested and involved, it will become a relic of the past. It is not necessarily her fault you have become discontent. Don't expect her to entertain you for the rest of your life. What you are going through may reoccur again and again in future relationships. The real question you should be asking is not whether you can make it past this point in a relationship, but do you want to!