Feeling of lonelines, isolation and low sex drive after I broke up with her.

[Renben]

Hello there friends. 

 

Ive written here before about my breakup with my girlfriend.im the one who broken it off with her. She was devastated and Ive had a rough time myself now. 

 

Its been a little bit over a month now and the dust have started to settle. I do have problem with her not being in my life, and sometimes I think about rekindling, but she is not right for me. She is in a very different place than me, but I do miss having a GF. Also the evenings get really lonely. I have friends, but I have problem finding the motivation to go out with them. 

I have very low sex drive as well, been thinking of dating, but I have lack of drive and determination now. 

 

Any of you been dealing with these feelings after a breakup? I have never broken up with someone before, I have only been dumped one time before. 

I really thought I would be further along mentally. But I will not go back. I know there was a Reason I broke up, so its stupid and wastefull time to go back. 

Also Im turning 30 this year, and I feel the pressure of getting older, without a GF or without kids 🤷‍♂️

[robaday]

Hey man I feel you!! I ended a relationship midway through last year and my sex drive has never recovered. I've gone out on dates but just can't really find the spark - have had sex with women but my mind and body are not in it. Have you cut off contact with the ex? I find the longer I go without speaking with her the more healthier my sex drive....

Have you tried Kegel exercises too? I only ask because I started doing those too alongside more exercise to see if it increases my libido.

Just give yourself time now.

[TeddyBundy1993]

Yes low sex drive is quite common.  Happened to me too but recovered eventually.  Stress have a huge impact on sex drive of both genders. If you isolate yourself too much, it will take longer to recover.  Isolating yourself after breakup for a week or two is fine more than that is not healthy.  If you can't find motivational force yourself until you do. Its a rough phase and it will pass by.  Don't feel bad about having children by 30 is bad, you still have a lot of time left. These days dude in their 40ies are becoming parents.

[snowboy91]

On 3/3/2021 at 6:41 AM, Renben said:

Also Im turning 30 this year, and I feel the pressure of getting older, without a GF or without kids 🤷‍♂️

As am I. It's a lot harder to see at that age, but the same ideas apply at any age - you are much better off finding the right person than giving in to the pressure of trying to be married/have kids/house etc by a certain point.

As much as I would prefer it not to be the case, society can be a little more... forgiving of guys in their 30s who are single. Allow yourself to heal and take whatever time you need.

[StoryOfMyLifeYes]

Mate, I'm turning 36 this year and I am now once again single. Don't put this pressure on yourself, especially after one month. It won't help, and in any case isn't the best motivation to get with someone.

Instead of thinking you should be dating (it really might be too early after just a month) try to rediscover a bit of joy of life. I'm not sure how social you were before the breakup, maybe you're just not the type to hang out with a lot of people, but either way if you enjoy life and your activities people will come to you, as a rule. Your life will transform slowly without you really noticing it, until you realize you are all of a sudden in a very different place from where you were before.

So again, no pressure with dating or anything. Just do your thing. You'll be fine.

[GeorgiaPeach1]

It sounds like you miss the benefits she provided, but not her. Glad you have decided not to go back, as that would be cruel when you know she isn't what you want long term.

 

[Miss Peach]

I had no sex drive at the end of my last relationship. I've found getting out and doing things with friends and others has been really helpful. Just connect with things that make you feel like you - favorite books, TV shows, hobbies, etc. The weather is good where I live so I've been doing a lot of activities outside through sites like meetup. Having good conversations with some of these people and just feeling like myself again has really helped with the sex drive.