Not sure what to do

[Alpacalia]

I've been corresponding with someone long distance for a while now (someone I've known for many years in person). We have spent time together in person in the past, and we have loose plans to again in the future.

The other day he said, “I miss you,” and I wasn’t sure how to respond. I like him, but we're so far apart, even though I'm hoping to be closer in the future, it's not feasible at the present moment. I really feel like there are too many barriers right now.

I am just trying to be realistic.

It's not like we're really dating so I don't think a “conversation” is warranted, but I also don’t want to just not respond.

As the title implies, not sure what to do?

[d0nnivain]

Ignore the statement & change the subject but continue to enjoy the conversations you do have. 

[Alpacalia]

Thank you dOnnivain.

Yes, that is more or less how I handled it.

But you seem to hold the same views as the friends I've confided in. A part of me feels like just stopping communication altogether. Even though the communication exchange is reasonably balanced, and we get on well, it begins to feel "relationship-y" at times which I don't think is appropriate given the physical distance.

[d0nnivain]

51 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Even though the communication exchange is reasonably balanced, and we get on well, it begins to feel "relationship-y" at times which I don't think is appropriate given the physical distance.

Then start saying things that should give him the hint that this is a friendship not a relationship.  Point blank work "I'm so glad we're friends" into the conversation.  

[Ruby Slippers]

I think lots of people have created these virtual "relationships" during the pandemic, since normal dating options are constrained. I'm open to chatting with long-distance admirers who are cool and interesting, but make it clear I'm not waiting for anything to materialize, will date locally if I meet someone I want to date, and wish them all the best with the same.

Edited March 3, 2021 by Ruby Slippers

[Alpacalia]

1 minute ago, Ruby Slippers said:

I think lots of people have created these virtual "relationships" during the pandemic, since normal dating options are constrained. I'm open to chatting with long-distance admirers who are cool and interesting, but make it clear I'm not waiting for anything to materialize, will date locally if I meet someone I want to date, and wish them all the best with the same.

True. Though we began communicating before the pandemic. 

Nonetheless, I see what you mean.

Thanks Ruby!

[Fletch Lives]

So just be normal and say, "awe, I miss you too"! It's not a marriage proposal

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Alpaca said:

I see what you mean.

You could say this ^. "I know what you mean, I miss so many things too". It is not ignoring the statement but rather diluting/diffusing it with some understanding drizzled in.🍷

Edited March 3, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Alpacalia]

On 3/3/2021 at 8:12 AM, Fletch Lives said:

So just be normal and say, "awe, I miss you too"! It's not a marriage proposal

"I'm not sure what to do" had less to do with his "I miss you."  I was undecided about continuing to interact with him because there are so many obstacles between us (distance, I have a special needs dog that I have to be present for now at all times, covid, school, etc.). 

There's not much I can do but wish him well if he meets anyone between now and then, which I'm sure he might, and it's entirely reasonable that he might and is currently dating others.