Pangs of Jealousy - How to cope

[HiCrunchy]

5 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Also something I want to mention. I had a similar  feeling a lot before I had my first great relationship...

Not so much envy,  but just this feeling of like why couldn’t I find someone I really liked? If I could find the perfect guy I would be happy What was wrong with me? Then I met my ex bf that was 2 ex bf’s ago. He was the perfect guy to me and I was completely besotted. He was so good and I felt that and our relationship was idyllic in a lot of ways... Like from the outside it seemed perfect. But for some reason,  I began to lose interest once I realized that I had this perfect relationship. It didn’t make me happy. It was just a goal that I had that I thought could make me happy. Once I accomplished it, I longed to be single again and have my freedom. I did start to wish I was like my single friends. ( but a lot of them didn’t want to be single)  People thought I must’ve been super happy that I had this really successful, loving, handsome boyfriend, & he was, but I actually felt stuck in a reship and fell into a depression. As soon as I broke up, I found myself, and I’ve been pretty happy since. So you don’t get a full pic from the outside either. That’s why I really never feel comparisons of my life to others.

I’m not saying this is you. You might be one of the people that would be very happy in the relationship once you find the right guy and that would be that. I’m just sharing my story because it was something that made me realize more than ever that happiness, when you are looking outward,  is something that the goal posts constantly keep moving for. So you may think you want something, but then you want something else, on and on. And when I was single I looked back on the sweet times and I wanted to feel the kisses and all that again so I figured I could play the dating game and was loving that until I messed around and fell  for someone again... oopsz lol. 
 

Anyway, I don’t regret any of it though. Each relationship I had and each awkward date taught me so much and I know who I am and what I want / need out of life more than ever( that might just have been growing out of my early 20s too) hth

Right? Sometimes I wonder if I am just chasing something I think I want because of what movies/short experiences have taught me. Maybe I don't even want a relationship, and I don't even know it yet.

[HiCrunchy]

23 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

Good... just keep an open mind, look past his minor shortcomings and see where things go.

I mean he asked you out on a second date, that is a really good sign (in my opinion).

Anything awkward pop up on the first (in person) date or video chat date??

Well, a few things caught my attention. Nothing too egregious that I want to dismiss him, but a few things.

I feel like I find myself thinking more when I am talking to him. Conversation should just flow easily, so I am wondering if this is how they dynamic is going to be moving forward, then it will eventually become emotionally exhausting. Also, his politics are a bit of a concern to me. I know this is controversial on here, but I'd like to to date someone with similar political leanings to mine, just because in my head, it signifys we see the world in the same way. I would be nervous about introducing him to friends/family in the future in that case, u know? It just wouldn't mesh.

Edited March 5, 2021 by HiCrunchy

[Happy Lemming]

54 minutes ago, HiCrunchy said:

Conversation should just flow easily, so I am wondering if this is how they dynamic is going to be moving forward, then it will eventually become emotionally exhausting.

He may be nervous and careful about what subjects he picks to talk about.  Not everyone is going to be a stellar conversationalist.

57 minutes ago, HiCrunchy said:

. Also, his politics are a bit of a concern to me. ...but I'd like to to date someone with similar political leanings to mine...

My girlfriend (of 9 years) and I are polar political opposites, we just don't talk about politics.  In the end, you only get one vote every four years (president) every two years (senate) and they do what they want anyway, so no reason to get flustered over politics (in my opinion). My political views aren't going to keep me warm at night, but my girlfriend will.

I never really cared what my family or friends thought of the person I was dating.  If I'm content with her, that is all that matters.

Time passes quickly, if the guy seems decent give the dating/relationship a try.  Don't be too quick to "throw him back", you may end up really liking this guy.

I've said this on Loveshack before, but my girlfriend was looking for that "knight in shining armor to ride up on a white horse"; she settled for a rodent that rolled up in a beat up old white pickup.  9 years later, she & I are still quite happy.

[HiCrunchy]

@Shortskirtslonglashes

Sooooo 2nd/3rd date went so well. Okay, pics dont do him justice, he is so f***ing hot.  He really put an effort in trying (planned date and made reservations). And I kissed his face and then some, it was awesome!! He wants to see me again. I don't wanna get too excited but it just so great. I had to @ you bc ur wanted an update lol

Edited March 8, 2021 by HiCrunchy

[Cookiesandough]

Yay !!!!!!!😆😆😆😆sounds awesome 

Edited March 8, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[ZA Dater]

On 3/8/2021 at 2:45 AM, HiCrunchy said:

@Shortskirtslonglashes

Sooooo 2nd/3rd date went so well. Okay, pics dont do him justice, he is so f***ing hot.  He really put an effort in trying (planned date and made reservations). And I kissed his face and then some, it was awesome!! He wants to see me again. I don't wanna get too excited but it just so great. I had to @ you bc ur wanted an update lol

Really good news! Enjoy every moment. Enjoy what is without trying to over think things too much!