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How do I start sexy texting with a woman?


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MODERATION NOTE: this thread has been split from existing thread:

What is wrong with him writing "nice boobs". He is trying to flirt/sexualise.

if she is interested she would respond in a positive manner no?

how else. does he know if she is into him. he has to escalate

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5 hours ago, fred123 said:

how else. does he know if she is into him. he has to escalate

This is not how to successfully escalate, Fred. 

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On 2/27/2021 at 2:41 AM, fred123 said:

What is wrong with him writing "nice boobs". He is trying to flirt/sexualise.

if she is interested she would respond in a positive manner no?

how else. does he know if she is into him. he has to escalate

What has been your success rate in dating been when you've adopted this strategy?

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On 2/28/2021 at 5:52 AM, Trail Blazer said:

What has been your success rate in dating been when you've adopted this strategy?

Lots of guys i know sexually escalate and the women responds positvely if shes into him. If shes not into him you get a negative response

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poppyfields
1 hour ago, fred123 said:

Lots of guys i know sexually escalate and the women responds positvely if shes into him. If shes not into him you get a negative response

By asking her if she has nice "boobs"?  Lol.   I don't think so mate.

If it was, it was a very poor (and lame) attempt, it's what a 15 year old boy might ask, not a grown ass man.

Good gawd. 

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ExpatInItaly
19 hours ago, poppyfields said:

By asking her if she has nice "boobs"?  Lol.   I don't think so mate.

If it was, it was a very poor (and lame) attempt, it's what a 15 year old boy might ask, not a grown ass man.

This. 

What kind of guys are you referring to, Fred? Quality men who attract quality women don't behave like this with internet strangers, I'm sorry to say. 

OP was wise to write this creep off. 

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13 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

This. 

What kind of guys are you referring to, Fred? Quality men who attract quality women don't behave like this with internet strangers, I'm sorry to say. 

OP was wise to write this creep off. 

Then how do many of the stories i hear about women sexting start. One girl told me a story  about how they started getting sexual over text becsuse of a comment her guy made

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poppyfields
8 minutes ago, fred123 said:

Then how do many of the stories i hear about women sexting start. One girl told me a story  about how they started getting sexual over text becsuse of a comment her guy made

I don't doubt that.  You must have missed this part of ExpatInItaly's post:

>>Quality men who attract quality women don't behave like this with internet strangers...

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Just now, poppyfields said:

I don't doubt that.  You must have missed this part of ExpatInItaly's post:

>>Quality men who attract quality women don't behave like this with internet strangers...

So you are telling me you have never done any sexual texting or innuendos etc? So how does a guy flirt/sexual etc?

And what if a guy wants just a hookup? How does he convey that?

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poppyfields
7 minutes ago, fred123 said:

So you are telling me you have never done any sexual texting or innuendos etc? So how does a guy flirt/sexual etc?

And what if a guy wants just a hookup? How does he convey that?

Sure, I've sexted with men (my boyfriends), exchanged sexual innuendo, but they sure as hell didn't initiate it by asking me if I had "nice boobs." 🙄

Come on now Fred that is a totally juvenile and asinine thing for a man over the age of 15 to ask a woman.

 

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poppyfields
14 minutes ago, fred123 said:

And what if a guy wants just a hookup? How does he convey that?

When I did OLDing, I had men who wanted a hook up message me asking "hey, you wanna hook up"?  lol

I gotta say that was a hell of a lot better than asking me if I had "nice boobs."   I'd wonder if I was interacting with a teenage boy instead of a grown  man.

OMG I am just remembering this, but I did have one guy message me (I think it was his second or third message) asking me "how are your breasts"?  Like he wanted me to describe them to him?  🤣

I deleted him. 

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Trail Blazer
On 3/3/2021 at 1:29 AM, fred123 said:

Lots of guys i know sexually escalate and the women responds positvely if shes into him. If shes not into him you get a negative response

Perhaps some women, but I couldn't imagine it works on the majority. 

I've honestly never tried as it's sleazy and not a statgey I associate with female dating success.

But hey, if your buddies talk like that to girls online or otherwise, and it works, more power to them.

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Trail Blazer
30 minutes ago, fred123 said:

So you are telling me you have never done any sexual texting or innuendos etc? So how does a guy flirt/sexual etc?

And what if a guy wants just a hookup? How does he convey that?

By simply stating "not looking for anything serious" in his dating bio.  That tells a woman all she needs to know.

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Trail Blazer
33 minutes ago, fred123 said:

So you are telling me you have never done any sexual texting or innuendos etc? So how does a guy flirt/sexual etc?

And what if a guy wants just a hookup? How does he convey that?

I've usually read my audience and waited for cues which give away some amenability towards that sort of thing.

I'll give you an example: 

My previous FWB, in one of our first conversations asked me what I was up to on the weeknd.  I told her that I was studying an on-line course for work.

She replied, "Oh hey, that's cool.  I'm doing the same thing.  I have great Wi-Fi, so perhaps you could come over and we could be study buddies?" *wink*

I responded to her by saying that I didn't think much study would get done if I took her up on her offer.  She told me I'd better hurry up and get my studies completed before the weekend's out.

Sure enough, I told her I'd get it done that evening (it was a Friday night) and that I'd be around the next day.  She gave me her address and the rest is history.

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2 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

I've usually read my audience and waited for cues which give away some amenability towards that sort of thing.

I'll give you an example: 

My previous FWB, in one of our first conversations asked me what I was up to on the weeknd.  I told her that I was studying an on-line course for work.

She replied, "Oh hey, that's cool.  I'm doing the same thing.  I have great Wi-Fi, so perhaps you could come over and we could be study buddies?" *wink*

I responded to her by saying that I didn't think much study would get done if I took her up on her offer.  She told me I'd better hurry up and get my studies completed before the weekend's out.

Sure enough, I told her I'd get it done that evening (it was a Friday night) and that I'd be around the next day.  She gave me her address and the rest is history.

Now if a guy said this...

'Oh hey, that's cool.  I'm doing the same thing.  I have great Wi-Fi, so perhaps you could come over and we could be study buddies?" *wink*

Id be told im too sexual and childish etc etc. Why is it if a guy said that the women on here would go ape?

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Trail Blazer
7 minutes ago, fred123 said:

Now if a guy said this...

'Oh hey, that's cool.  I'm doing the same thing.  I have great Wi-Fi, so perhaps you could come over and we could be study buddies?" *wink*

Id be told im too sexual and childish etc etc. Why is it if a guy said that the women on here would go ape?

Because that's the way it is, bro.  Women are the gatekeepers to sex and men are the gatekeepers to relationships. 

Of course, there's plenty of overlap between the sexes, with penty of women wanting hookups and plenty of men wanting relationships.

However, men generally know that if they come on too strong sexually they're bound to scare many women off just as women will scare plenty of men off if they seem too eager to lock him away.

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29 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Because that's the way it is, bro.  Women are the gatekeepers to sex and men are the gatekeepers to relationships. 

Of course, there's plenty of overlap between the sexes, with penty of women wanting hookups and plenty of men wanting relationships.

However, men generally know that if they come on too strong sexually they're bound to scare many women off just as women will scare plenty of men off if they seem too eager to lock him away.

Ok i get it but then how do i text in a way like your FWB did? If she didnt message you that, how would you then do it?

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Trail Blazer
1 hour ago, fred123 said:

Ok i get it but then how do i text in a way like your FWB did? If she didnt message you that, how would you then do it?

That's hard to say.  Honestly, how good looking are you?  The facts are that the hotter you are, the more likelihood you have to succeed.

An unfortunate reality is that the same woman might be as equally repulsed by one guy coming on to her with that sort of suggestive talk as she'd be flattered by another guy.

I mean, I'm no Chad, but I just happened to be lucky enough that I pretty much had enough matches to keep me engaged with little effort on my part.

I managed to have hook-ups, an FWB with my previous relationship and current relationship bookending those experiences.  And of those encounters, it was mostly the women asking me to meet them.

In any case, one thing I can assure you is if you ask her if she's got nice boobs, you're probably going to fail no matter what you look like.  Looks only get you so far.  You've still got to have an ounce of decorum.  Even the one's open to flings appreciate that.

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Cookiesandough

lol “sexy texting “ is so boring/awkward. Only do it if you have 0 other options 

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Depends on the woman.  Young women seem to have been taught that sexting is a good idea, that it gets a guy interested in them.  Sadly, they have not been taught that it only gets a guy interested in sex with them.  

If a guy tries to send flirty sext texts to me, I find it a complete turn-off.  I totally give up on him.  He might think he's trying to avoid the friends zone by upping the flirting but in actual fact he is writing himself off.  I never encourage it and really find it disrespectful.

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Sexting someone you don't know could land you in the creepzone.

You need to start with some small talk first.

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