7 Months No Contact

[andrem11]

Just over 7 months ago my ex girlfriend dumped me.  The story is included in an older post so I won't go into too much detail here.  It doesn't feel like it's been 7 months at all.  It's hard to imagine that we've been separated for that long and she's most certainly dated somebody else at this point.  There have been stretches of time where I haven't thought of her at all, but then there will be times where I will lie in bed awake at night thinking about how angry I am or how much I miss her.  Even though things in my personal life are going better than when I was with her,  I still crave her presence.  She made me feel a way that no other person ever has.  I've gotten pretty good at the guitar, i've been reading more than i've ever read in my adult life, i've started going to the gym and lifting weights again, work is going well, i'm on antidepressants that are successfully working.  Unfortunately it's still a long road back to where I was physically before I started dating her, and I expect another 3-6 months of hard work to finally be in a place I want to be in again.

Unfortunately all hope has not been crushed yet.  I think a part of me is still holding on to the delusion that she will come back claiming she made a mistake.  I have no idea what's going on in her life.  I have been strict no contact since the moment we broke up. I've tried talking to other women, but honestly I just haven't really found anybody who compares to her.  It doesn't help that women are less interested in me now than they were 3 years ago.  I know I need to get in better shape and take care of my appearance more, but that doesn't happen overnight. I hate being without her, but I know I don't really have any option but to just keep trucking on and improving myself like I have been.  It still sucks bad and even if she did come back I think too much damage has been done for anything to work out.  

[Gaeta]

I've had more than 1 breakup in my life and I know at some point we have to *force* ourselves back into living. I understand you have not met anyone that got your interest and it will be like that until you do. Only keeping at it will pay off.  What is the alternative? Staying bottled up at home feeling defeated? That should not be an option. You may not consider yourself physically worthy of dating but many women will consider you are. You can still work on yourself while dating, it will keep your mind busy with something else than your ex. 

[FMW]

9 hours ago, andrem11 said:

Unfortunately all hope has not been crushed yet.

That's the problem.  Until you accept that it's truly over and done it's going to keep haunting you and blocking you from moving on.  Don't let yourself spend time thinking about how great you felt with her, focus on the anger over what happened and how it hurt.  The fact that she's out of your life means there is someone much better for you out there.  If you keep thinking about all the good things about her and hoping she might come back you aren't going to find that someone better.  

Unfortunately getting over breakups usually takes more than 7 months, so don't think that the fact that you're still wanting her means that she was "the one". 

[TeddyBundy1993]

I agree with FMW, dude drop this hope of reconciliation please. This hope is hollow and the most common things which stops people to move on. It has been 7 months and you are doing great. Please don't look back now, I understand you are missing presence of someone. Its a common feeling right after the break up. Keep moving on,  alright. You are doing great don't ruin it. 

[GeorgiaPeach1]

Even if she came back, at this point it would be for completely selfish reasons--she herself has gotten dumped, needing validation after a job loss, having some sort of problem she wants your help with, etc...